If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It - Chapter Two
Chapter Two
A few boxes lay scattered throughout the room, and Jared could see that Jensen's bed had been raised up on cinder blocks to accommodate the dresser underneath. It was a common thing to do, and Jared had done the same thing to his bed. It meant there was more room overall, since both their dressers stood out of the way. He liked it. A dark green comforter lay across the bed that had been empty this morning, but had a few items scattered on top of it. Some clothing, a blue body pillow, but no Jensen. Jared hoped the guy wasn't someone who just left his door open for anyone to come steal stuff.
"Hello?" he said, and heard a bang and a bark of pain from underneath the bed.
The guy who had to be Jensen popped out from his crouched position, rubbing his head where he must have hit it. Jared's first instinct was to say something apologetic, since accidentally hurting your roommate the first day you've met doesn't bode well for the rest of the year, but after looking at the guy, his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth and the words died on his lips.
Jensen was possibly the most stunning man Jared had ever laid eyes on. Just slightly shorter than Jared, which was a huge plus in his book, Jensen's tee shirt showed off a slightly thicker build than Jared had, but one that demonstrated that Jensen probably worked out and cared for himself. Jared couldn't see past the guy's waist because stacked boxes were in his way, but that didn't matter. Aside from his strong build, Jensen's eyes were what caught Jared the most. Framed by long, delicate lashes, Jensen's green eyes were nearly transfixing in their intensity. The lush lips, laugh lines at his eyes, and slight cleft in his chin were almost an afterthought, though Jared knew he'd appreciate those plenty later.
"Hey, caught me by surprise, sorry," Jensen said, which Jared barely heard as he was trying to take in everything in front of him.
"Uh, yeah!" He forced himself to respond. "I'm Jared, your roommate."
"Good to meetcha." Jensen sidestepped some boxes, showing off delicious bowlegs, and Jared reached out to shake his hand, automatically going to see what Jensen's mood was like, how the situation felt.
Jared’s surprise must have shown on his face because his smile suddenly felt very fake and frozen. Jensen delicately took his hand to give a small shake. "You ok, buddy?" The easy smile hadn't left Jensen's face, but it didn't matter to Jared.
He didn't know what Jensen was feeling. He couldn't read Jensen at all. The man was completely blank. Jared had never run across anyone before who had affected him this way. It was like suddenly being blind after seeing his entire life, and it was so nerve-wracking he almost couldn't cope. The only thing that saved him was the realization that he had gone from being unable to distinguish his Craft to knowing exactly what it felt like.
"I'm fine. Just - just a long day." Jared moved past him, still reeling with the implication that Jensen felt like he wasn't even there, and hopped up on his bed. "When did you get in?" He could cover for this. He could make conversation.
"Just an hour or so ago. Like I wrote you, I had my aunt's third or fourth wedding to attend. It's something crazy. I can't get over it." Jensen knelt down to crawl back under the bed, apparently fiddling with some speaker wires. Jared definitely didn't look at his butt. "I can't believe I had to attend, but my mother is just so dedicated to her sister, and it wouldn’t have gone over well with the family."
"That's lame, dude. Missing class and all."
"Ah, nothing too important happens on the first day. I'll be fine." Jensen unfolded himself again, this time careful not to bang his head. "You a freshman?"
Jared's eyebrows shot up. "You're not?"
"Heh, no. I'm entering my senior year."
"So why are you rooming with a freshman like me? No apartment off campus? No girlfriend you're moving in with?"
Jensen shrugged. "I just want to finish out the year. I like company and my buddies all got a place together without me - and I gave them endless shit for it - but it's not so bad having someone make your food and clean your bathroom."
It didn't escape Jared's attention that Jensen had dodged the question about living with a freshman. He felt pretty sure a regular senior would have at least tried to get a single or room with another senior, but there was nothing he could do to read Jensen's emotion regarding the subject. Any kind of emotion would have given him something to go on, but all he could sense was a large void. Despite his natural tendency to dig information out of people, he decided to let the subject rest. It rankled, though. Jared was used to knowing exactly what he could do to handle a situation.
"So, anything I can do to help with the unpacking efforts?"
"Nah, I got it." Jensen flashed a smile and continued to organize his stuff in the room. Jared watched for a while, but after starting to feel a bit stalkerish and lame, he pulled out his laptop and got started on his assignments.
Despite having the screen open in front of him, he couldn't help but wonder if Jensen regretted having him for a roommate. He’d already gone all weird on Jensen during their introductions. Did Jensen think he was some dumb freshman and was wishing he’d been more aggressive about living with an older roommate? The whole thing was freaking Jared out just enough that when Chad texted his phone and said, "Let's catch dinner," Jared was only too happy for the break.
He was about to leave for dinner when he realized that Jensen hadn't had food either, and being that Jared was from Texas, he couldn't just walk out to get food without inviting the guy he'd be spending the year with. “Hey,” he said, “I’m grabbing dinner with a pal. Interested? It’s dining hall food.”
Jensen looked up from where he was shelving a few books in the meager bookcase the school supplied, a wide grin on his face. "Yeah, that'd be great." He stood and wiped his palms on his pants, and Jared had yet another twinge of thinking that Jensen was possibly the cutest guy he'd ever seen.
When they arrived at the dining hall, Chad wasn't anywhere in sight, so the two of them shared what Jared could only assume was an uncomfortable silence as they made their way past the salad bar and soda machines to get in line behind the other students. From what Jared could see, it was something that looked like mac and cheese, so he figured it was pretty safe. It wasn’t anywhere close to what his momma would have cooked back home, but when he saw Jensen get a generous helping, he figured he could trust the senior’s experience. Jared scouted the room one last time for Chad before they found a table near one of the windows.
Jared sent a quick text with their location and they dug in to eat.
"You sound like you're from Texas," Jensen said after a few bites, eating more daintily than Jared could have ever hoped to.
"Yeah, San Antonio. You?"
"Richardson. You don't run into many Texans up here in Boulder. Why'd you choose to come? I personally got sick of hearing ‘Hook ‘em Horns!’ every time someone worshiped at the altar of UT."
Jared barked out a laugh, but forced a casual look on to his face and rattled off the excuse he'd gotten really great at giving since realizing he couldn't tell people, Because they're going to teach me how to use my Craft. "I just heard really good things about it, and I felt like a break from Texas for a while. Besides, I'm signed up as a Psych major right now, but I have no idea if I'll keep it or move on to something else. What are you studying?"
"Biology. I'm interested in doing Physical Therapy as a Master's, but I definitely needed the biology degree to back it up."
"Burly." Jared felt kinda stupid next to all these people who were doing Engineering and Biology, and wondered, just at the back of his mind, if he should look into something other than Psychology. He’d heard quite a few jabs about getting his major in “Arts and Parties.”
A tray slid in next to Jared's, and he looked up, seeing both Chad and Kristen getting ready to settle themselves. Both were radiating strong emotions of happiness, he felt, and it was such a relief to get those cues. He'd been so focused on trying to read Jensen, he'd completely forgotten to open himself up to the emotions of the other students in the dining hall.
"I'm starved. How ya doing?" Chad started attacking his meal right away, and Jared laughed.
"Dude, take a breath. You haven't met my roommate yet. Chad and Kristen, this is Jensen. Jensen, Chad and Kristen."
"I assume you're Chad?" Jensen said to Kristen, smile playing at the corner of his mouth and reflected in his eyes. She giggled, but took his hand in a firm shake.
Chad was next, but as they grasped palms, Jared could see Chad's bemused expression drain from his face, mirrored by a sudden change in his emotional presence, one that Jared could only describe as cold. He knew Chad had picked up on something from Jensen, and wanted dinner to be over already so he could question his friend about it.
Kristen was the one who ultimately saved dinner from being a completely awkward affair, keeping up conversation with all the guys about sports, movies, and other lightly trivial topics. Jared, despite being slightly clueless about things like that, picked up that Kristin was flirting with Jensen.
He was fine with that, really. After all, it wasn't like the chances of Jensen being gay were high, and the chances of Jensen being gay and into Jared were even lower. Really, fine.
After the meal, Jared made a quick excuse to stop by Chad's room before returning to his own, and as soon as the two cleared the dining hall, even with a flood of students still coming by to get dinner, Chad's fists clenched in Jared's tee shirt and he leaned in close, hissing, "What the fuck, Jared!"
Jared felt his hands clench, not in anger at Chad, but in sympathy. He knew the frustration Chad was feeling. "I don't know, man. He's like a blank wall to me. I walked into the room and didn't even feel that he was there. I have no idea if he's happy, sad, whatever!" He knew he was getting a bit loud when a couple of girls wearing pajama bottoms and slippers shuffled by them, shooting them both alarmed looks, and he tried to lower his voice. "I don't know what to do."
"C'mon." Chad tugged him down the stairs until they reached the basement. They slipped inside Chad's room, a single that was wallpapered with pictures girls out of Playboy centerfolds, expensive cars, and gory horror films (all of which caused Jared to roll his eyes in amusement). After Chad shut the door, he whirled back around. "Did you call Morgan?"
"No," Jared said, abashed. He hadn't even thought of it. "But we'll see him tomorrow, right? It's not like Jensen's dying or anything?" He hesitated, eyes wide. "Or could he be?"
"I don't know, man. I've never touched anyone who didn't at least give me some impression before. I mean, I don't read thoughts intentionally, but whenever I touch someone, I get surface shit, like that general level of 'Oh, look, Chad has blue eyes and ain't he hot stuff' type things. Jensen? Nothing. It's creepy, dude, that's what it is. You gotta talk to Morgan."
"I will!"
"Okay. And tell me what he says."
"I will!"
"You better." Chad flopped down on a wheely chair that was clearly not dorm issue, and rolled backward on the tile floor until the chair hit the wall. Jared was impressed that Chad's room was so clean, despite the trash for decor.
"So...wanna play some Xbox?" Chad grinned and pointed to the video game system conveniently hidden underneath his bed.
"Uh, you know I do!" Jared made himself comfortable on Chad's bed and did his best to forget about the Jensen issue.
_____
Jensen was asleep when Jared got back to the room, which was a slight blessing. Jared turned in as well, realizing he'd gotten none of his homework done, but couldn't find the energy to be angry at himself. He felt he'd actually done something even more important with his time. If a few hours of video game playing in Chad's room helped him find a really solid friend to start his college career, he was all for it. Of course, he wasn't going to tell his mother that he spent the night not doing homework.
He drifted off to sleep thinking about how busy today had been, despite the fact his schedule had not been that full.
Jared abruptly found himself dropping a few feet on to a rock ledge, looking around to see who else was out there in the darkness. He couldn't hear any sounds beyond the rustle of branches and grass in the slight wind that ruffled his hair, but the way his skin dotted with goose bumps, he knew there was something out there. Watching him. Stalking him.
When he looked up, all he could see was a large rock formation behind him. He knew he'd come from up top, but not why or how he'd gotten there. Despite knowing that higher ground gave him an advantage against whatever it was, he knew that he couldn't stay there, that he had to keep moving.
Spurred by his spark of fear, Jared hopped the rest of the way down the rocky hillside, stumbling over the steeper areas and hoping he wouldn't fall. The dark of night seeped across the landscape in front of him, inky black with only a few stars to light his way. Where there should have been a moon was nothing.
A rock tumbled down the outcropping behind him and he whirled, expecting to see something flying at his face. It was nothing. It had to be nothing. He sucked in a deep breath, but before he could exhale, a hand grabbed his neck from behind and a deep, masculine voice hissed in his ear. "Caught you."
He came awake with a gasp, covers pooled around his waist and hanging off the bed. Jared had evidently done an excellent job of getting himself wrapped up in them, because it took more than a few seconds to extract himself from the places where his sheets wrapped around his legs. Sweat pooled in the small indent between his pecs, and he felt disgusting knowing it was already drying on his skin. No wonder he'd had such a crazy dream, being trapped in the covers like that. Yuck.
He rolled from the bed, aware that his alarm was just about to go off. Jensen's bed - apparently he was going to be looking for Jensen every time he came in the damn room - was already empty and made. Jared wasn't terribly worried. He didn't have class today until ten, then one at eleven and finally noon would be his chance to speak with Professor Morgan about how his life had taken a turn for the weird.
Breakfast, homework, and his first classes couldn't seem to go fast enough. Although both earlier classes were brand new and focused on subjects Jared enjoyed, right now they simply seemed a waste of time. His mind whirled, caught up in the unsettled feeling the dream had left him with. The combined stress of the dreams and his upcoming conversation with Professor Morgan left Jared feeling off-kilter.
It wasn't until someone tapped him on the shoulder during Native American Literature that Jared realized how far away his mind had been, and the teacher had evidently called for the class to group into pairs.
A small, very petite woman was shuffling her things over next to his from a few chairs away, her bright, white smile infectious and truly happy. Jared felt his mood lightening already. The prospect of making a new friend was good. He gave the girl the once over while her head was turned, noting well-kept long brown hair, a simple white and blue sundress, and flip-flops.
The girl was also incredibly pretty. Jared bet she got hit on all the time. And got free tire rotations. Sometimes he wished he could play the cute-girl-card.
She finally got settled in the chair next to him and stuck out her hand, smile back on her face. "Hi, I'm Sandy."
"Jared."
"So, Jared, you looked like you were spacing out there."
"A little," he admitted. "Just getting used to everything."
"Me too." Sandy shifted so her legs were crossed, then leaned in. Jared was suddenly aware that she was flirting with him.
"So, since I was a bit out of it, what is it that we're supposed to do?" He was going to try his best to deflect, deflect, deflect. He didn’t want to have to deal with a flirty classmate while trying to figure out the Jensen issue.
"We're just picking teams for a presentation in a few weeks. The teacher said she'd pass around an instruction form." Right on cue, the student to Jared's other side tapped him on the shoulder and shuffled a pile of papers into his hands. He grabbed the top two and kept the pile going, then he and Sandy took a few minutes to read over the instructions.
The assignment was a comprehensive analysis of one Native American author's line of works, with a list of suggested authors to read and study. Jared had the feeling he'd be seeing a lot of Sandy in the next few weeks, and also realized that he was going to have to fight for every available minute of time he could to study his Craft. The warm, happy feelings he thought he was getting from Sandy told him she, too, knew they'd be together quite a bit.
Somehow he was going to have to tell her he was gay. It wasn't as if he was ashamed of it. Boulder, as far as small towns went, was pretty liberal. Jared had already seen two girls holding hands on the field outside the library, and he knew that if he picked up a boyfriend during school, he wasn't going to hide it behind "football dates" or other weird excuses. He'd fought long and hard with his parents to be accepted for who he was, which was funny considering his mother hadn't minded at all when the subject of his Craft had come up, and Jared had already vowed to never take a job that made him hide his true self.
His mother’s easy acceptance of Jared’s innate magical ability was such a polar opposite to the panic she’d first expressed when he’d come out of the closet. She’d said such things as, “Oh, you know your grandmother had a touch of the gift,” and, “The gift is something that runs in our family.” Jared had found the statements to be more than a little hypocritical. He just didn’t get how she could find magic to be perfectly acceptable, since it was something he couldn’t ever mention to “normal” people, while his sexual orientation was so scary.
His mother took nearly a year to come to the point where she called him “gay” without the word sounding like an insult. She was still coming to terms with being able to say “boyfriend” around him, but was getting better. Jared’s father had been much the same, but Jared had the impression it didn’t bother his father nearly as much.
The thing was, he didn't want to try and figure out how to handle Sandy’s interest right now. Sandy seemed involved in the course content, which was more than he could say for other students, and the prospect of having a motivated partner was more important to Jared than trying to be out and proud to deny her interest. He figured that after they worked together a few times she'd either get it that he wasn't interested or his affections lay elsewhere.
At last class ended. Sandy and Jared traded phone numbers ("Do you mind if I call you for fun, too, Jared?”) and the exchange took just long enough that by the time Jared got to his Craft class, Professor Morgan was beginning to speak.
"Craft takes practice. Concentration. Ability. It's also something that you are either born with or without. Like your five senses, you can strengthen your Craft by practicing.
"I'm not saying you can see better if you practice seeing, but take art as an example. A trained eye may be able to tell you if you're seeing Monet or Manet. If a piece is done in oil or acrylic. A trained ear can tell you if you're hearing a viola or a cello.
"All this comes back to your brain. Your eyesight, hearing, smell, taste, everything. It connects to your brain, so if you are born without the right link to Craft, you cannot do Craft. It's like being able to hear, but being tone deaf. Being able to see, but being color blind. A person who cannot manipulate Craft won't be in this class, but you are likely to be able to include them in your world. For instance, our telepath Chad can read everyone’s thoughts, not just the ones who are sensitive to Craft.
Jared's hand shot up. This was exactly what he had wanted to talk about. Professor Morgan gave him a nod, the go-ahead to speak. "What if you run into someone that you can't sense with Craft or who seems to be completely...numb to it?"
"I was just getting there, Jared, but that's a good point. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes we find individuals who are completely numb to Craft. They can't practice, receive, or even influence it. It's like knowing someone who was born without an optic nerve. They may have all the biological equipment except for one vital piece. Since we don't know what part of the brain controls Craft, we can't fix it. It's a very frustrating thing to experience."
"What about people who get their eyesight repaired? Like a donor organ?"
"Good point, Chad, but it relates back to my point. If we can't pinpoint it, we can't fix it. Perhaps someday Craft will become recognized within the medical community, but until then, there is no solution."
Another student raised her hand. "Do people who are numb to Craft--"
"Nulls," Morgan cut in.
"Nulls...do they affect people who don't use Craft?"
"Another good question. Because most people are not consciously using a Craft or don't have access to it, no, they probably aren't affected by a Null presence. They might find a Null a little hard to read sometimes, or choose not to form a close friendship, but by far and large, Nulls live just as great a life as everyone else. They tend to surround themselves with other Craft-insensitive people, much like you'd probably form a tight friendship with someone who loved music, and you were into it as well."
Professor Morgan walked to the blackboard and scrawled a large word across it. PRACTICE. He faced the class.
"I know I told you this yesterday, but I want it to sink in. If you can humanly practice your Craft once a day, I want you to do it. Last night I sent in a profile of your unique abilities to a few friends who will be able to gather me a list of other people with similar abilities. I expect our first tutor session will happen in about a week. Be ready to stretch."
He spent the rest of class going over various Craft abilities, which definitely opened Jared's mind to how big his universe had just become. Things he didn't even know about, like people who could start fires with their minds, or people who could levitate objects. Professor Morgan asked everyone in the class to stand up, introduce themselves, and announce their abilities. Several were "repeat" abilities, though it was emphasized that as each human had varying degrees of ability with their own senses, Craft was much the same.
Like Chad, other people were telepaths, so at some point they were going to learn to all talk together and broadcast their own thoughts if they were able. Kristin was the only Seeker in the class, as Jared was the only full Empath. There were partial Empaths, and he hoped that there wasn't any weird Craft jealousy going around. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if the person next to him had a stronger, better ability than he did.
Beyond the abilities he’d expected, there were students who were able to manipulate the world in ways Jared hadn’t imagined. One student could turn any liquid into water, and Jesus Christ jokes aside, Jared thought that ability was really cool.
By the time class ended and he'd stepped out the door, Chad just a few feet behind, his head felt so full he thought it might pop. "Is it going to be like this every day?" Jared groaned, turning his face into the sunlight, trying to soak in a little calm and relaxation, or whatever.
"Dude." Chad's eyes were excited and wide when Jared glanced at him. "Think how tired we're gonna be when our mentors get here and we're practicing for two hours straight. Our friends are going to think we all caught Mono or something, with how much we'll be sleeping."
"That is not helping my enthusiasm, Chad." Jared steered them toward the student center as they talked, intent on getting a coffee or a burrito or something.
"At least Professor Morgan answered your question about Jensen. Dude, imagine not being, like, sensitive. That would drive me crazy."
Jared had to stifle a grin at Chad's naivety. "How do you go crazy if you don't know what you're missing?"
"I dunno, I'd get laid a lot less often. Like, that girl right there? She's totally digging you. Her friend digs me. If I didn't know these things, how could I set up excellent flirting opportunities?"
Standing inside the student center, directly where Chad pointed, were Sandy and another dark-haired girl who was just as beautiful. Sandy raised one arm hesitantly, but as she realized that it was Jared and not some other tall guy who simply looked like him, she gave an excited wave, then dragged her friend over, a huge smile plastered on her face.
"You know them?" Chad's voice was filled with a little awe.
"One of them," Jared managed to reply as Sandy arrived within earshot.
"Dude," Chad breathed, and launched into conversation with the girls, almost as if Jared wasn't there. He didn't mind, since he wasn't quite sure of Sandy's intentions. The flirt-o-meter from her friend, who he was pretty sure was also a freshman, was raring at an all time high.
Chad took a moment to breathe, and Sandy cut in. "Hey, Jared! I thought that was you. This is my friend Sophia." She pushed Sophia not-so-subtly toward Chad, who took the opportunity to give Sophia's hand an emphatic shake and immediately start in to ask about what she thought of her classes.
Jared had just a moment to marvel at how easily they both took the obvious hookup before Sandy claimed his ear to tell him the ideas she'd already had about their group project. They set up a date to meet in his room on Thursday evening, both coming equipped to talk about the project. Despite still feeling the flirty emotions coming from Sandy, Jared found himself enjoying speaking with her more and more.
Before he knew it, a few hours had passed and his stomach was growling, the after class burrito forgotten under Sandy's conversational onslaught. They all decided to eat together in the dining hall, and, as Jared's luck would have it, ran into Jensen as they were sitting down.
Jared couldn't help but notice the emotional flares of those around him in response to Jensen's presence. Chad felt wary and frustrated, while both Sandy and Sophia were impressed with his looks, at the very least. Now that Jared knew Jensen was a Null, he felt hyper-aware of the other man's presence, his quick smile, and piercing green eyes that most likely had every person at the table trying to meet his gaze. Or Jared could have been projecting.
He and Jensen ended up talking about what it was like to go into a major that would teach them to care for others, either mentally or physically. Jensen was animated as he spoke, clearly excited to be going into physical therapy. Not only was he anticipating his future, but was also interested in the basic coursework, which impressed Jared quite a bit. He found himself questioning Jensen in-depth about what had drawn him into the field (a busted knee in high school and the desire to continue working near sports), and where he wanted to practice once he graduated (Jensen didn't know). Jared found he could easily relate with Jensen’s desire to help people heal, despite not needing physical help himself.
"So, have you started any of your psychology classes yet?"
"Just basic psychology, and I think it's going to be killer." Jared grinned. "We've had one class so far and I think I took ten pages of notes. I don't know how I'm going to study for the tests."
"Show up every day,” Jensen advised. “Don't they say that you'll get a minimum of a C if you're there and listening?"
"I think so." Jared pulled his dessert over - a brownie - and began to eat it with relish. Jensen's eyebrow quirked up, amused. "Hey, I'm a growing boy!" Jared took another big bite.
"Suuuure." Jensen leaned back, hands clasped behind his head. "Any idea what kind of psychology you like? Laboratory? Clinical? Fuzzy-wuzzy-hugging?"
"Shut up. I don't know. I like hugging."
Jared's phone buzzed, startling him, and he looked down to see who it was. Still there? - Chad. He looked around, realizing that he and Jensen were the only two left at the table, and there was a lone worker walking around spraying the other tables with disinfectant. The August sun was setting, and Jared knew that they'd been there for at least a few hours. The whole day, his second day, was almost another wash for getting work done. He still didn't mind.
"Shoot, we should get out of here."
Jensen glanced at his watched and shot a startled look at Jared. "Dude, it's almost eight thirty. Dang." They bussed their dishes and hurried back to the room.
Jared felt conflicted. On one hand, he was pleased that he and Jensen seemed to be bonding so well, despite Jared's deficiency where reading Jensen was concerned. On the other hand, Chad, Sandy, and Sophia had all left without him noticing, and he was worried that when he saw Sandy on Thursday, she'd be hurt he hadn't been giving her more attention. This was why he couldn't stand women. Men pretty much said it like it was, and if they didn't, they punched you instead. Jared could deal with punching.
The room was better set up than it had been that morning. Clearly, Jensen had given it a lot of work during the day. There was a corkboard up with photos of Jensen hanging out with a group of guys who looked to be his age, and Jared found himself examining the photos one by one.
"My friends," Jensen said. He'd come to stand by Jared's side. "The guy with the longer hair? That's Chris. He's a music major working on his Master's degree here at the school of music. That guy is Mike. He's a pretty wild character, and I'm not sure I should introduce you two. You wouldn't be safe once he found out you were a freshman."
"Doesn't like freshman?"
"Nah, likes 'em too much. He'll be taking you out to all the bars, making you a fake ID, and you'll be kicked out of school before you have time to blink."
"Sounds fun."
Jensen smirked. "Then you couldn't hang with those cute gals you brought to the dining hall."
Jared's stomach gave a little twist. He knew the chances Jensen was gay, interested, and bold enough to make an advance were at about a snowball's chance in Hell, but he'd kind of hoped. Was this a confirmation in the other direction?
"Eh." He shrugged, trying to be nonchalant.
"Not interested?"
"Not my type, really."
"You like the bookish ones better?"
Jared eyed over Jensen's shoulder, seeing his textbooks piled on his bed, one open as if Jensen had been studying after his morning classes. "Yeah, I really, really do."
"Not me. I prefer mine a little more...animated."
The Texas accent came through heavily as Jensen spoke, and Jared's response came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop it. "I'll keep that in mind."
Then, almost on autopilot, he meandered toward his desk and sat down to study, freaked out and a little concerned that he was the only one who felt like that conversation had been one big flirt tactic. Jensen chuckled behind him, and Jared had to resist the urge to knock his forehead on the table, because could he get any geekier?
_____
Wednesday came and went, and Jared hardly saw Jensen at all. The senior was always gone when Jared woke up, despite being a self-confessed late night person. Apparently Physical Therapy classes were only taught in the early hours of the day. Jared himself was caught up his Craft class, where Professor Morgan gave a lecture on ethics in Craft.
Jared badly wanted to delve into his fear of invading others’ emotions. Was it akin to rape? Was there some kind of line he needed to watch? He had no idea where his choice started and another person’s ended.
Professor Morgan asked them all to think of something non-Craft to relate their abilities to, and the only thing that Jared could think of was ”First, do no harm.” The class focused on discussing everyone’s ideas, but time ran out before they got around to Jared. He was alternately relieved and curious, feeling that it was weird to relate his gift to not only the Hippocratic Oath, but also to rape. The former made him feel like he was saying his gift could heal people, which wasn’t really the case; the latter made him feel like a sleaze.
Although Professor Morgan had said the students could talk to him at any time, Jared wasn’t ready to come forward with his concerns. They seemed so drastic, yet he couldn’t stop worrying that he was somehow invading other people’s consent. Ever since he’d realized how his Empathy felt, he couldn’t turn it off. How did he approach a situation where he constantly invaded everyone’s emotions?
Tired and frustrated, he ended up hanging with Chad, who reassured him that the girls weren't angry, just amused at how exclusive Jared and Jensen had been in their conversation. It was a good tactic to take his mind away from his worries.
By the time Jared came back to the room, Jensen's lights were out, and the little reading lamp on Jared's desk was the only thing to guide him around the room to get ready for bed. Still no studying, and Jared knew his mom would really kill him if she knew.
Sandy's emotional state was happy when Jared met her in class on Thursday, and he was glad to see that Chad's version of the truth was the truth. The guy was pretty stand-up, but Jared was quickly learning that Chad's world differed on some basic principles from his own.
"Glad to see you survived the serious conversation." She moved her papers away from the seat she'd clearly been saving for Jared, and he sat down, grateful she'd thought of it. The class was filling quickly, and as much as Jared disliked sitting so close to the front, he hated being in back even more.
"It wasn't serious, just fun! I'm sorry to have been so engrossed I didn't see you go. That sucked of me."
"Jared, it's no problem." Her affection for him came through quite clearly. "If you're as dedicated for the project, I'm gonna be tickled pink. And speaking of pink, I have a favor to ask you which I hope isn't too presumptuous."
"Ok, shoot."
"So. Sophia and I are going to Rush for sororities, and I was wondering if you kinda maybe a little could be my escort to a couple of events in a few weeks, and see if Chad would escort Sophia? She really, really liked him, and you're an awesome guy, and I haven't met a lot of guys yet who want to do more than play Frisbee in the Quad, and, well, yeah." A blush rose in her cheeks.
Jared laughed, nodding. "Sure, it's no problem. You're funny. Do you need me to carry a big stick? Fight off the evil fraternity boys?"
"And a Mag light."
He gave her a serious face. "Yes, ma'am."
Class got going, and Jared was feeling really good about Sandy's not minding about his conversation with Jensen. That was when he realized he'd agreed to be her escort. As in date.
_____
"I'm Sandy's accidental date this weekend to some Rush events." Jared pitched his backpack onto the floor and flopped down face-first onto his bed. The bed, an extra long, was barely tall enough to accommodate Jared's height, but at this moment he couldn't bring himself to care. All he wanted to do was bury himself underneath his covers.
"How do you become someone's accidental date? Did you run into her with your accidental pickup line?"
Jared cracked an eye open and shot Jensen what he hoped was his meanest look, though he had an inkling that he just looked stupid in his facedown position.
"Dude," he said, most of his words getting lot in the mattress, "it just seemed like a nice thing to do, to help her out, and then suddenly I realized I was trapped. Trapped!"
"So tell her something came up. That you've got a dorm thing you can't miss."
"No, then I'll be a big douche bag, and she doesn't deserve that. She’s totally my friend now. She compared me to evil frat guys and everything, and if I cut out on her I might as well be one of them."
"First of all, not all frat guys are evil, so you need to chill out on that, and second, maybe you'll find you like her more than you think you do, and it'll be happily ever after." Jensen tapped his pencil against his teeth, eraser first, and Jared went gooey inside from how much he liked this guy. Sure, they'd only been roommates for less than a week, and Jared couldn't read Jensen at all, but he just felt like they clicked. He also couldn’t help it if he wanted them to click, naked.
"I know they’re not all bad, but even then, I’m not gonna change my mind about her." He put his face back down against the mattress and just lay there listening to Jensen scribble away at notes or reading, and then he was hiding.
The field all around him was filled with tall grass which blew gently in the night breeze. While the atmosphere should have been peaceful, all Jared could feel was terror that he'd be found.
He looked up to see what he was hiding behind, and it was a clock. Not just a clock, but monstrosity of one, a clock that went up and up, towering over the land like a terrible king, hands pointed out in dominion over his subjects. Jared stumbled back, trying to get a better look at it.
The clock was made of mahogany, smooth and sculpted like it had been carved from butter. It stood probably fifty feet tall, and he suddenly realized that it was a horrible hiding position, that all of the King's subjects would know that Jared was at the Clock, and it was the biggest landmark for miles. He squinted, trying to read the hands, to see where the Clock that was a King was pointing, but as his vision cleared and the clock hands came into focus, Jensen slapped the back of his head and said, "Yo, dude, dinner."
Jared roused, wiping away a big wet patch on his cheek, then sat up, aware he probably had his comforter imprinted on his face. "Kay." He stumbled after Jensen into the dining hall, collected his mound of food, and found that the two of them were the only ones around that evening. He recalled that Chad had a study session ("I can't believe I have test in week one. Week one!") and the girls were probably eating in their own dorms.
It was kind of weird. He and Jensen spent all this time alone in their room together, but their interaction was purely on a school-related basis. Jensen had gone out several nights to hang with his older friends, which Jared didn't mind at all - he liked a little time to himself in the room. They spent most of their time discussing schoolwork and teachers. But now, seated together in the dining hall, just the two of them, Jared felt himself clam up.
He focused on his chicken pot pie and tried to think of something smart to say that wasn't school-related.
“You seem pretty quiet,” Jensen remarked as he stabbed a piece of cauliflower with his fork.
Jared shrugged. “Not so chatty tonight. Just groggy from the nap, I think.” He tried to forget about the dream and be better company, but the feeling of being found by some danger stuck with him.
Chapter Three | Master Post