teanthyme
< emo >
man anyone ever sit down and think about what really is important?
as of late ive been getting all bummed out about prom, yeah cant find a date, not that im looking too hard. its like something i dont care about now but know i will when the time comes and after when people wont stfu about it later. its just so distant to me. like this year goes fast, but right now everythings in slow motion. the days are getting longer and im getting more and more and more tired.
is that something psychological? i hope so. anyway, this year is comming to a slow drag for me, i dont know why. maybe this is what its like being in some place youll most likely (say that now but probably will) never come back to. its not the people, although like 30% of it is, but most of it is the lack to fun in this area, its almost like after 9 everythings dead. in school there isn't much going on. like my parents think im keeping stuff from them when everyday they ask, ian how was school. it was ok. anything new happening? no. cause there never is.
and further more, since i will be disappearing for a bit after Highschool, like for say 4 years. into the mountains (or into central PA im still waiting on one) ill go. since all that, ive pretty much given up on being whatever, i dunno its hard to explain. and im in the mood to rant, but anyone ever think about how (if at all) they will be remembered? well i doubt ill be remembered for anything, and im not being emo cause almost all the kids here wont be remembered, except by maybe the juniors or a select few of underclassmen. but in like 2-3 years no one remembers.
you know what? i just wanna go back to cooperstown, to time before computers and MP3 players and just sit around with my brother and play xmen with action figures. those were the freakin days, you know? back in the day before deadlines, gossip, interest in girls, body odor, backstabbing irrational hasbeen friends, care about cars, getting up early, acne, and anything else i cant think of. i believe i would kill to go back and live int eh country. not to be mean to people i know here, just comming down to PA was pretty gay. i really liked being in the country. and moving around when your little isnt fun at all. i came here imn what 3rd grade? i had enough people i knew that i could count them on one hand, and its been like that pretty much up til now. and wouldn't ya know it, but when i finally get my social scene in the somewhat right order, i go off to college, to start anew, a step up? or down.
now if your still reading this think about what you do thats so important, why will people remember you and what for. think of all the things you do each day and if they are important, the things you eat for example, anyone ever sit down and think of what the fucks up with that chicken from the caf? why do you eat it if its 50% grease and then 60% gross? man they dont even fry it, thats false advertising.do you sit down and do something good for anyone or anything each day? is there something you you can proudly say you did that you know someone will remember in a good way?
ive seen drama, i know secrets and all but will any of that matter in 4 years? when your either getting into or out of college? will even you remember it?
should i infact care about anything? to quote my brother, 'ive paid my dues and now i want out.' i think i can look at LM that way without getting in trouble. right?
its really sad looking in hindsight and in retrospect.
fuck on top of all that i think i have dyslexia (what a mean joke, spelling it like that) i cant write or type without errors like whoa.
it is sooooooo gay.
anyway im sure this will match up just fine with my header, ever think about what's really important. cause i know this cant be that important, all this worrying.
you know, i had a dream a week ago and its so weird that i remember it, but anyway. this is what i think the only important part (and the only part i really remember) but my old girlfriend rachel pulls up in the middle of the road next to me as im walking up it. and says, "ian what's left of you since last year?" thats all i remember from it, but im still thinking about it.
anyway,
< /emo >
gday to yall.
man anyone ever sit down and think about what really is important?
as of late ive been getting all bummed out about prom, yeah cant find a date, not that im looking too hard. its like something i dont care about now but know i will when the time comes and after when people wont stfu about it later. its just so distant to me. like this year goes fast, but right now everythings in slow motion. the days are getting longer and im getting more and more and more tired.
is that something psychological? i hope so. anyway, this year is comming to a slow drag for me, i dont know why. maybe this is what its like being in some place youll most likely (say that now but probably will) never come back to. its not the people, although like 30% of it is, but most of it is the lack to fun in this area, its almost like after 9 everythings dead. in school there isn't much going on. like my parents think im keeping stuff from them when everyday they ask, ian how was school. it was ok. anything new happening? no. cause there never is.
and further more, since i will be disappearing for a bit after Highschool, like for say 4 years. into the mountains (or into central PA im still waiting on one) ill go. since all that, ive pretty much given up on being whatever, i dunno its hard to explain. and im in the mood to rant, but anyone ever think about how (if at all) they will be remembered? well i doubt ill be remembered for anything, and im not being emo cause almost all the kids here wont be remembered, except by maybe the juniors or a select few of underclassmen. but in like 2-3 years no one remembers.
you know what? i just wanna go back to cooperstown, to time before computers and MP3 players and just sit around with my brother and play xmen with action figures. those were the freakin days, you know? back in the day before deadlines, gossip, interest in girls, body odor, backstabbing irrational hasbeen friends, care about cars, getting up early, acne, and anything else i cant think of. i believe i would kill to go back and live int eh country. not to be mean to people i know here, just comming down to PA was pretty gay. i really liked being in the country. and moving around when your little isnt fun at all. i came here imn what 3rd grade? i had enough people i knew that i could count them on one hand, and its been like that pretty much up til now. and wouldn't ya know it, but when i finally get my social scene in the somewhat right order, i go off to college, to start anew, a step up? or down.
now if your still reading this think about what you do thats so important, why will people remember you and what for. think of all the things you do each day and if they are important, the things you eat for example, anyone ever sit down and think of what the fucks up with that chicken from the caf? why do you eat it if its 50% grease and then 60% gross? man they dont even fry it, thats false advertising.do you sit down and do something good for anyone or anything each day? is there something you you can proudly say you did that you know someone will remember in a good way?
ive seen drama, i know secrets and all but will any of that matter in 4 years? when your either getting into or out of college? will even you remember it?
should i infact care about anything? to quote my brother, 'ive paid my dues and now i want out.' i think i can look at LM that way without getting in trouble. right?
its really sad looking in hindsight and in retrospect.
fuck on top of all that i think i have dyslexia (what a mean joke, spelling it like that) i cant write or type without errors like whoa.
it is sooooooo gay.
anyway im sure this will match up just fine with my header, ever think about what's really important. cause i know this cant be that important, all this worrying.
you know, i had a dream a week ago and its so weird that i remember it, but anyway. this is what i think the only important part (and the only part i really remember) but my old girlfriend rachel pulls up in the middle of the road next to me as im walking up it. and says, "ian what's left of you since last year?" thats all i remember from it, but im still thinking about it.
anyway,
< /emo >
gday to yall.