Meme!
Hey, so. Look at me, trying to be all social! I'm not much of a joiner, usually, but I'm kind of trying to be, so: meme time! smilla02 gave me five awesome questions, and in return, I offer five answers of dubious quality!
1. Have you ever thought of writing professionally? If you did and have a manuscript somewhere, tell me something about it.
Not as such, no. However, I once accidentally wrote a children's book. It's not something I intended to do, but it just kind of came out (and this was well before I was writing anything else at all) and I showed it to my husband and then tucked it away in a drawer, and that was the end of it. Every once in a while, he remembers it and says something about how I should look into submitting it for publication, which is very sweet, if a little unrealistic. Oh! And! Though I obviously never intended for it to be published, I do also have the first story I ever wrote, all bound up and pretty. Perhaps I'll share that later on. Might be fun.
2. I know you play in a band, do you compose your music?
Yes! My first instrument was the flute, and then later on I picked up the piano, and by the time I was in high school, I was writing my own music on both, though mainly on the flute. Classical composition wasn't really my thing, though, and I actually got burned out on the flute entirely during my first semester in college. Which, honestly? After the years of preparation and the whole audition process and then wasting half a year on the Music department's specialized curriculum, kind of ruined my life just a tiny bit. What I realized, though, was that giving up the music didn't bother me. It was something I did, and then it was something I didn't do. And that passion that's supposed to be there? Also not really my thing. It if was, maybe I wouldn't have let myself be chased out of the department--this was all tied up around some really disgusting behavior on the part of my flute teacher/advisor--but as it is, everything turned out for the best. A year later, my father bought me a guitar, which I played half terribly and half not at all for nine months or so, until I met my husband, who gave me a guitar lesson in which he taught me absolutely nothing at all. That eventually led me to be in a music store with him roughly a year later, at which point I jokingly said, "Hey, you should buy me a bass!" And he did. And all these years later, we have two bands and way too many side projects, and yes, we write lots and lots of songs together. Oh! And I do still play the flute, piano, and guitar on occasion. I sing as well, though it's really an uphill battle.
3. If Dean Winchester knocked at your door, how long would it pass before you jumped his bones? Feel free to substitute Dean Winchester with Sam Winchester.
Ha! If Dean Winchester knocked at my door, he'd take one look at me and politely exit in the opposite direction. I say politely because he does seem to have certain standards, and I suspect I'd fall somewhere near the bottom of the Thanks But No Thanks category, which is probably far enough above Oh God, Run! that he wouldn't end up stuttering a nonsensical excuse and hiding a look of disgust under an awkward smile. I might have more of a shot with Sam, notwithstanding the dreams I had a few times where he was berating me for being stupid and ugly (Don't ask, my subconscious defies explanation!) but even then, I think it'd probably be a lost cause. Is this a terrible answer? I feel like this is a terrible answer!
4. Have you ever thought of living in a different country? Or have you ever lived in a different Country?
Yes! There was actual, serious talk about heading north of the border at one point. That was coming up on four years ago, now. I would have done it, I like Canada, but I pretty sure my husband would never move. Which is a shame, honestly. I'd love to get away from here, put some distance between me and my family. I've just recently kind of realized that I'm not who they want me to be, and they're not who I want them to be, and I think a few hundred--or hell, a few thousand miles could really help the situation. So, yeah, I'd love to live elsewhere, Canada or England, maybe, I don't know. I'm not convinced I could learn another language (or another profession) well enough to get by, so my options are limited!
5. Higly personal: do you plan on having children on day?
I guess I don't know. Some days, I feel like bringing a child into the world with me as its parent would be unbearably cruel, while other days, the thought of not passing on my husband's genes makes me want to cry. Sometimes I feel like whatever desire I have to have a child can't possibly be genuine, it's just another thing I want because other people have it and I don't. In any case, it's not for lack of trying. We're not, currently, but we have in the past, quite a bit, and nothing's ever come of it. Mostly, I think that's the universe telling me that I'm not good enough, and honestly? I think I agree.
If you want to play the rules are these:
RULES (duh!)
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions, and these rules.
1. Have you ever thought of writing professionally? If you did and have a manuscript somewhere, tell me something about it.
Not as such, no. However, I once accidentally wrote a children's book. It's not something I intended to do, but it just kind of came out (and this was well before I was writing anything else at all) and I showed it to my husband and then tucked it away in a drawer, and that was the end of it. Every once in a while, he remembers it and says something about how I should look into submitting it for publication, which is very sweet, if a little unrealistic. Oh! And! Though I obviously never intended for it to be published, I do also have the first story I ever wrote, all bound up and pretty. Perhaps I'll share that later on. Might be fun.
2. I know you play in a band, do you compose your music?
Yes! My first instrument was the flute, and then later on I picked up the piano, and by the time I was in high school, I was writing my own music on both, though mainly on the flute. Classical composition wasn't really my thing, though, and I actually got burned out on the flute entirely during my first semester in college. Which, honestly? After the years of preparation and the whole audition process and then wasting half a year on the Music department's specialized curriculum, kind of ruined my life just a tiny bit. What I realized, though, was that giving up the music didn't bother me. It was something I did, and then it was something I didn't do. And that passion that's supposed to be there? Also not really my thing. It if was, maybe I wouldn't have let myself be chased out of the department--this was all tied up around some really disgusting behavior on the part of my flute teacher/advisor--but as it is, everything turned out for the best. A year later, my father bought me a guitar, which I played half terribly and half not at all for nine months or so, until I met my husband, who gave me a guitar lesson in which he taught me absolutely nothing at all. That eventually led me to be in a music store with him roughly a year later, at which point I jokingly said, "Hey, you should buy me a bass!" And he did. And all these years later, we have two bands and way too many side projects, and yes, we write lots and lots of songs together. Oh! And I do still play the flute, piano, and guitar on occasion. I sing as well, though it's really an uphill battle.
3. If Dean Winchester knocked at your door, how long would it pass before you jumped his bones? Feel free to substitute Dean Winchester with Sam Winchester.
Ha! If Dean Winchester knocked at my door, he'd take one look at me and politely exit in the opposite direction. I say politely because he does seem to have certain standards, and I suspect I'd fall somewhere near the bottom of the Thanks But No Thanks category, which is probably far enough above Oh God, Run! that he wouldn't end up stuttering a nonsensical excuse and hiding a look of disgust under an awkward smile. I might have more of a shot with Sam, notwithstanding the dreams I had a few times where he was berating me for being stupid and ugly (Don't ask, my subconscious defies explanation!) but even then, I think it'd probably be a lost cause. Is this a terrible answer? I feel like this is a terrible answer!
4. Have you ever thought of living in a different country? Or have you ever lived in a different Country?
Yes! There was actual, serious talk about heading north of the border at one point. That was coming up on four years ago, now. I would have done it, I like Canada, but I pretty sure my husband would never move. Which is a shame, honestly. I'd love to get away from here, put some distance between me and my family. I've just recently kind of realized that I'm not who they want me to be, and they're not who I want them to be, and I think a few hundred--or hell, a few thousand miles could really help the situation. So, yeah, I'd love to live elsewhere, Canada or England, maybe, I don't know. I'm not convinced I could learn another language (or another profession) well enough to get by, so my options are limited!
5. Higly personal: do you plan on having children on day?
I guess I don't know. Some days, I feel like bringing a child into the world with me as its parent would be unbearably cruel, while other days, the thought of not passing on my husband's genes makes me want to cry. Sometimes I feel like whatever desire I have to have a child can't possibly be genuine, it's just another thing I want because other people have it and I don't. In any case, it's not for lack of trying. We're not, currently, but we have in the past, quite a bit, and nothing's ever come of it. Mostly, I think that's the universe telling me that I'm not good enough, and honestly? I think I agree.
If you want to play the rules are these:
RULES (duh!)
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song. Or your favorite kind of sandwich. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions, and these rules.