RL update

Apr 10, 2010 15:19

Well I took all my lj friends advise and talked to my parents about  the whole situation about Jacob...I had some hope that they would understand but sadly they did not.

My paretnts said that I am not a good parent, and that Jacob needs to be around people who loves him...so what they were trying to say is that I don't love jacob, which is just bullshit!

They said that I brought the situation onto myself, and that I was obvisouly doing a horrable job at working, and thats why I got laid off.

I have to see them in court Wendsday, and I have a bad feeling that i'm going to lose Jacob, but maybe my parents are right maybe he would have a more happy life with his grandparents...

I just feel so alone, and i have been getting deeper and deeper into my depression that I have been struggling with, the only time I feel like going on is when i'm with my baby, but if I lose him, I just don't know what I i'll do.

I have my friends, here at home,and I love them to death, but that does not help heal the empty feeling I feel deep down in my chest. I feel like I let my parents and family down, they always have told me that i'm not good enough, and i'm starting to believe that there right.

I'm sorry for telling you guys about all my problems, but I feel like you all don't judge me, and even though I have not met any of you here I still think of you all as my friends, who I care about deeply.

Thanks for listening.

Ash

rant

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