Germany or America?
Hi everyone. I would really appreciate some input on this decision.
My grad school search has been narrowed down to two schools, my first and my last choice. My first choice is in Germany, and my last choice is in America, one state away from where I am now (which is also where I grew up, and all my family lives). The thing is that, as you know, I have until April 15th to reply to my last choice (hereafter referred to as "America"), but I have not been accepted to my first choice ("Germany") yet, because their country-wide deadline is June 15th, and I can't be legally given an answer until after then (although I have been in contact with them since last October).
I am really hopeful about getting into Germany, though, and received this email last week:
Dear Ms A---,
Prof. Hochbruck, who is in charge of the master's programme in British and North American Cultural Studies, has asked me to inform you that while the papers you have sent so far do certainly make you very interesting as a student for us, and we would certainly prefer if you decided to come to Freiburg, we cannot legally at this point guarantee you a place on the programme (unfortunately, a definitive answer regarding admittance can only be given after the official application deadline, i.e. June 15, 2010). We can, however, ensure you that you will find material, as well as teaching staff to work with, that are conducive to the research interests you have indicated.
Best regards,
Susanne D--
Now, that may just be my wishful thinking, but it seems to me that this email is very positive about my future acceptance. But like I said, they cannot legally admit me until after June 15th.
The grad school in America is not a bad school at all. I have visited the campus, and I like it and the faculty very much. It's only 90 minutes from home, and they are waiving tuition and giving me a stipend, as well as nominating me for another fellowship that I will hear about in a week. I've heard great things about them from friends and current professors who have gone there. When I say that they are my last choice, I don't mean it in a negative way - just that there were so many other great schools that I applied to (and was rejected from) that they just weren't the most awesome one. But they are still great. The only real negatives are that the area is horrifically bland (even the faculty that I talked to when I visited said that there's nothing much going on off-campus) and I am from a city, and used to literally more things going on than I could hope to take part in; that they are really pushing for me to go there and "diversify" their campus (I come from a really diverse campus and I don't know how I would feel about this); and finally that their program is really open to being designed however I like it, and while I have heard great things about that aspect of it, I don't know how I feel about that.
Now, as for Germany, the program is pretty much my dream program. The area seems amazing. I've been looking at it for almost a year, learning the language, making contacts, and tailoring my senior year to making me a more interesting candidate to them. The whole thing just sounds amazing. The only drawbacks are that they don't offer funding (in fact, it's 1.000 euros a year, although that's not much), that I don't know anyone in the area, and that I'm not fluent in German (although the program is in English). Oh, and the whole on the other side of the world thing. So if something really really bad happened (I'm thinking of a few aging members of my family) I couldn't just hop in my car and come help.
So. I just don't know what to do. I want so badly to go to Germany. I want it so, so much. But I have to reply to America in two weeks, and I won't know for sure with Germany until June. I'm scared of saying no to America and not getting into Germany. I'm scared of saying yes to America and regretting it forever. I've been talking about this with friends and family, and many people have suggested saying yes to America and then backing out if I am accepted to Germany. Is this acceptable? At first I thought it was horrendously tacky and would reflect terribly on me, but I have had so many people suggest it that I'm starting to wonder. Is this actually something that I could do? Or should I just take a risk and wait on Germany? Or accept America?
I know I made this way too long, so here are the pros and cons again, really quickly:
America
+ I've been accepted already
+ stipend
+ teaching opportunity (unless I get the additional fellowship, in which case I don't have to teach)
+ no tuition
+ close to home
+ good program
- I would go crazy in the area
- program is very much "personalize-able" which could be bad
- being the "diversification" in the school; I went to an all-white high school, and the exoticism and orientalism that I experienced there made me feel really othered and really hindered me making lasting friendships, since I was always "the Mexican friend." I'm not saying that it would be like that there, since I honestly don't know, but their preoccupation with my woc status makes me wary.
Germany
+ My dream program
+ Amazing location (I've heard so many good things about the city)
+ Opportunity to perfect my Germany
+ Opportunity to teach English (I've been an ESL tutor and writing consultant for a couple years now, but I mostly work with Chinese and Middle Eastern students)
- I haven't been accepted yet
- I would be all alone
- I would have to pay 2.000 euros over the course of the 2 year program, just in tuition
- I don't have a job waiting for me
+/ - Far away
Okay. So, that's it. If anyone actually read all of that, thank you so much. Any advice that you could give me would be much appreciated. I really tried to organize my thoughts in this post, but I've been just sick with stress over this whole thing, so my apologies if you can't understand a thing I've written.
My grad school search has been narrowed down to two schools, my first and my last choice. My first choice is in Germany, and my last choice is in America, one state away from where I am now (which is also where I grew up, and all my family lives). The thing is that, as you know, I have until April 15th to reply to my last choice (hereafter referred to as "America"), but I have not been accepted to my first choice ("Germany") yet, because their country-wide deadline is June 15th, and I can't be legally given an answer until after then (although I have been in contact with them since last October).
I am really hopeful about getting into Germany, though, and received this email last week:
Dear Ms A---,
Prof. Hochbruck, who is in charge of the master's programme in British and North American Cultural Studies, has asked me to inform you that while the papers you have sent so far do certainly make you very interesting as a student for us, and we would certainly prefer if you decided to come to Freiburg, we cannot legally at this point guarantee you a place on the programme (unfortunately, a definitive answer regarding admittance can only be given after the official application deadline, i.e. June 15, 2010). We can, however, ensure you that you will find material, as well as teaching staff to work with, that are conducive to the research interests you have indicated.
Best regards,
Susanne D--
Now, that may just be my wishful thinking, but it seems to me that this email is very positive about my future acceptance. But like I said, they cannot legally admit me until after June 15th.
The grad school in America is not a bad school at all. I have visited the campus, and I like it and the faculty very much. It's only 90 minutes from home, and they are waiving tuition and giving me a stipend, as well as nominating me for another fellowship that I will hear about in a week. I've heard great things about them from friends and current professors who have gone there. When I say that they are my last choice, I don't mean it in a negative way - just that there were so many other great schools that I applied to (and was rejected from) that they just weren't the most awesome one. But they are still great. The only real negatives are that the area is horrifically bland (even the faculty that I talked to when I visited said that there's nothing much going on off-campus) and I am from a city, and used to literally more things going on than I could hope to take part in; that they are really pushing for me to go there and "diversify" their campus (I come from a really diverse campus and I don't know how I would feel about this); and finally that their program is really open to being designed however I like it, and while I have heard great things about that aspect of it, I don't know how I feel about that.
Now, as for Germany, the program is pretty much my dream program. The area seems amazing. I've been looking at it for almost a year, learning the language, making contacts, and tailoring my senior year to making me a more interesting candidate to them. The whole thing just sounds amazing. The only drawbacks are that they don't offer funding (in fact, it's 1.000 euros a year, although that's not much), that I don't know anyone in the area, and that I'm not fluent in German (although the program is in English). Oh, and the whole on the other side of the world thing. So if something really really bad happened (I'm thinking of a few aging members of my family) I couldn't just hop in my car and come help.
So. I just don't know what to do. I want so badly to go to Germany. I want it so, so much. But I have to reply to America in two weeks, and I won't know for sure with Germany until June. I'm scared of saying no to America and not getting into Germany. I'm scared of saying yes to America and regretting it forever. I've been talking about this with friends and family, and many people have suggested saying yes to America and then backing out if I am accepted to Germany. Is this acceptable? At first I thought it was horrendously tacky and would reflect terribly on me, but I have had so many people suggest it that I'm starting to wonder. Is this actually something that I could do? Or should I just take a risk and wait on Germany? Or accept America?
I know I made this way too long, so here are the pros and cons again, really quickly:
America
+ I've been accepted already
+ stipend
+ teaching opportunity (unless I get the additional fellowship, in which case I don't have to teach)
+ no tuition
+ close to home
+ good program
- I would go crazy in the area
- program is very much "personalize-able" which could be bad
- being the "diversification" in the school; I went to an all-white high school, and the exoticism and orientalism that I experienced there made me feel really othered and really hindered me making lasting friendships, since I was always "the Mexican friend." I'm not saying that it would be like that there, since I honestly don't know, but their preoccupation with my woc status makes me wary.
Germany
+ My dream program
+ Amazing location (I've heard so many good things about the city)
+ Opportunity to perfect my Germany
+ Opportunity to teach English (I've been an ESL tutor and writing consultant for a couple years now, but I mostly work with Chinese and Middle Eastern students)
- I haven't been accepted yet
- I would be all alone
- I would have to pay 2.000 euros over the course of the 2 year program, just in tuition
- I don't have a job waiting for me
+/ - Far away
Okay. So, that's it. If anyone actually read all of that, thank you so much. Any advice that you could give me would be much appreciated. I really tried to organize my thoughts in this post, but I've been just sick with stress over this whole thing, so my apologies if you can't understand a thing I've written.