Social Psych SOP - Round 2

Nov 15, 2009 14:51

I've taken advice from her and my thesis advisor since my last draft, and significantly revised it. Any input or criticism (anything at all - even to just repeat what someone else said!) is absolutely appreciated ( Read more... )

sop, social psychology

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quarktothemax November 15 2009, 20:10:27 UTC
The fake names you used cracked me up:o)

I think this is a great SOP. You demonstrate that you are accomplished, focused, and very intelligent, but you don't come off at all snobby... it's very straightforward. Good job!

I agree that it is a bit dry... Your research sounds fascinating to me (I know nothing about social psych, but everything you were talking about made sense and sounded really intriguing), but I didn't get the sense that YOU are personally fascinated by this stuff. You tell the reader that this is what you're interested in... but why are you interested? Maybe explaining WHY this stuff is interesting to you would be a way to inject your personality without becoming unprofessional?

In the end, though, not a fatal flaw. Do what you're most comfortable with.

Nitpick: I would take "doing" out of the first sentence, just because it seems unnecessary, and I like to hack sentences down to nothing:oP Maybe also the words "methodologically" and "academically" a couple sentences later (thought I know that will change the meaning of the sentence... it just seems like too many adjectives!). Actually, you may want to read through and look at a lot of the adjectives (if you would like, I can send you line edits). This is *really* well-written, but the over-abundance of adjectives is a little weird.

Best wishes!

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quarktothemax November 15 2009, 20:14:39 UTC
Forgot to address the second question: I would definitely go with the better piece of writing. Just keep editing the SOP and make it as good as it can be (this is the only other piece of your writing the adcom can look at, so if both pieces are really well-written, they will have no reason to think you didn't write one!).

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socialpsychg November 15 2009, 20:29:45 UTC
I'm glad my fake names could lighten up your day. =)
That's good about the second question - I was worried - but that's a good point! Compared to how I've written my SOP, it wouldn't look that outlandish.

In response to your "nitpick:"
I completely agree that "doing" seems really out of place after reading it - thanks! I'm a little more ambivalent about the methodologically/academically a couple sentences after - if anyone else thinks it looks silly, feel free to chime in!
I have a bad habit of over-using adjectives when self-promoting - if you could send line edits, that'd be awesome!

In response to WHY I find my area fascinating:
The problem (as I mentioned in my intro) is that I don't have any specific reason why I find it interesting. I just find it interesting for its own sake. If I had to establish a reason for it, I would say that I want to propagate the idea that common-sense conceptions of human behavior and thought are often wrong, and that social problems should be solved through quantitative research, not uninformed ideologies. However, that would seem over-generalizing (e.g., recent research into the accuracy of some stereotypes), and might look like I'd rather be a popular science or psychology writer than researcher, which is definitely not the case.

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socialpsychg November 15 2009, 20:31:54 UTC
Perhaps mentioning that I hope my research will be applied to real-world social problems will help, although I don't think that would showcase my personality specifically (unless I identified that as my primary passion, which would be disingenuous).

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quarktothemax November 15 2009, 20:53:46 UTC
I think either of the things you just mentioned would be good to include.

"Common-sense conceptions of human behavior and thought are often wrong, and social problems should be solved through quantitative research, not uninformed ideologies."

I can see why you're afraid this is an over-generalization, but maybe you could just state this and then qualify it slightly? Because it's an interesting idea. Maybed instead of saying "should be solved," say "can best be solved"? Or "are frequently best solved"? I know that makes the writing a little wishy-washy, but it prevents your statement from being an over-generalization.

I think mentioning how your research could apply to real-world problems would be a great idea... I was thinking about that when I read your section on priming. Definitely don't lie and say you are uber passionate about changing the whole social order of the world with your research, but just a line or two would be good.

When I say I want to know more about you personally, it's really that I want to know what motivates you (which is part of your personality, I think!).

Do you want me to post line edits here or e-mail them to you?

:o)

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socialpsychg November 16 2009, 01:30:58 UTC
Emailing them to me would be nice. I've sent you a message with my email. Thanks!

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