personal statement
I finished my personal statement and am not sure how I like it. I'm 3 years graduated from college and have been working since graduation. I'm looking to go to grad school to help me change careers. I'm applying for a M.S. in Computer Science at a local state school. The school I'm applying to requires a personal statement a maximum of one page. Here it is:
"I would like to puruse a gradute degree at SCHOOL in order to faciliate a career change from working in the insurance industry to the computer industry. In my undergraduate career, I was inerested in discrete mathmatetics and number theory and as I leared more I became interested in their applications in computer security. As a result, I have an interst in this field and in addition to changing careers, I would also like to be taken on in order to conduct research in this field, in particular, cryptography.
After graduating from SCHOOL I went on several interviews for employment at software companies, hoping to be hired as a programmer. During this time, my mother lost her job and looked to me to be the primary earner in our household. Due in part to this and my failure to secure a job as a programmer, I took employment from a large insurance company as a claims examiner and am currently employed with this company. I enjoy the environment I work in and the work itself - I get to interact with people, have the opportunity to work independently and as part of a team - but ideally, it's not what I want to do or where I want to be.
SCHOOL is an ideal setting for me to continue my education and improve on my skills in order to allow me to complete my career change. I hope to assist in research and I feel my interests best reflect those of Dr. whatever and Dr. whatever2 and their research in cryptography. I am very impressed by the Center for Research and the research being conducted there. A school with a faculty with similar interests to my own and a program that focuses on the importance of research are values that I am looking for in a graduate program. For these reasons, I am eager to continue my education at SCHOOL. "
They ask for a "personal statement about your educational or career objectives....that should be of the kind and quality that expresses why you have chosen to pursue a graduate degree."
I think that covers it, no?
"I would like to puruse a gradute degree at SCHOOL in order to faciliate a career change from working in the insurance industry to the computer industry. In my undergraduate career, I was inerested in discrete mathmatetics and number theory and as I leared more I became interested in their applications in computer security. As a result, I have an interst in this field and in addition to changing careers, I would also like to be taken on in order to conduct research in this field, in particular, cryptography.
After graduating from SCHOOL I went on several interviews for employment at software companies, hoping to be hired as a programmer. During this time, my mother lost her job and looked to me to be the primary earner in our household. Due in part to this and my failure to secure a job as a programmer, I took employment from a large insurance company as a claims examiner and am currently employed with this company. I enjoy the environment I work in and the work itself - I get to interact with people, have the opportunity to work independently and as part of a team - but ideally, it's not what I want to do or where I want to be.
SCHOOL is an ideal setting for me to continue my education and improve on my skills in order to allow me to complete my career change. I hope to assist in research and I feel my interests best reflect those of Dr. whatever and Dr. whatever2 and their research in cryptography. I am very impressed by the Center for Research and the research being conducted there. A school with a faculty with similar interests to my own and a program that focuses on the importance of research are values that I am looking for in a graduate program. For these reasons, I am eager to continue my education at SCHOOL. "
They ask for a "personal statement about your educational or career objectives....that should be of the kind and quality that expresses why you have chosen to pursue a graduate degree."
I think that covers it, no?