Thanks; I think that you are right. It is a first draft and I know that in the beginning especially I was just trying to get anything down on paper, and by the conclusion I felt like I knew more where I was going. And that definitely does reflect in the voice.
The funny thing is that the advice that everyone on here has given sounds exactly like what I tell my own students. I even tell them to write the introductions last, and to write "vomit drafts." I might even share this experience with my students. :)
I have similar questions about length, but here's what I've been able to sort out so far on the topic. From looking at a friend's SOPs (she was accepted to a tiptop English lit program for this fall), most of the time approximately 2pgs single spaced does the trick and seems to be the standard response to programs that don't specify length. Duke has pretty extensive advise both for length and content: http://english.duke.edu/grads/faqs.php#17 and I've seen their 'do whatever you need to keep it under 2 pages but make sure it's readable' guideline elsewhere as well. A few places, of course, will be evil and ask you to keep it under 500 words
( ... )
I don't know if I'm any good at all in critiquing SOPs... I'm still reworking mine ad nauseum. But I will give you my first impressions, and hope it helps.
Like the previous poster, I liked the last two paragraphs a lot. And I think the beginning has a lot of potential. This biggest gap for me, though, was that you go from hating Joyce to liking his work enough to do a Master's thesis on him without much explanation. Maybe it's a question of space, but I found myself wondering what changed. How did you come to be so interested in Joyce? Did you reread his books until they resonated with you? Did one particular part of his work stand out, or were you just unable to forget what he wrote, even the arrogant-sounding parts? That seemed like a missing piece, to me.
Good luck! I think you've got a really good start here.
Interesting! I wonder if that SOP is somewhere in the archives; I haven't seen it from the cursory search that I did. I'd be really interested to read it, and find out if/where that person was accepted.
And yeah, I was also wondering if I should include specific theorists that I want to work with, so the fact that you noticed it makes me think that I should. Thanks!
The commenter above is referring to me, I believe. I was accepted to Northwestern and Princeton for the PhD and NYU for the MA. I'm at Princeton. Drafts of my SoP are here and here (the first is the more finished and comprehensive).
A few notes:
I agree with others' critiques of the first paragraph.
I found Joyce’s manipulation of both language and gender roles particularly interesting, and focused my research on feminist and gender studies, primarily in regards to Ulysses. This needs to be more specific, I think-can you say a little about what you think Joyce does with language & gender roles, and how you used the feminist/gender studies lens to approach Ulysses?
In what ways, I began to wonder, are my students intentionally or unintentionally forging the uncreated conscience of a race through their writing? Should the composition classroom be a politically charged arena in which students forge an identity through their writing, or is this uncreated conscience merely a forgery of identity, reinforced by dominant ideologies
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I think this is an excellent start, especially the ever important fit paragraph. You draft, I suspect, looks a lot like other people's final SoP
That being said, I have a problem with your first paragraph, especially the discussion of your james joyce hate. I don't think it adds anything to the narrative, but it is distracting. I think it is a risky first sentence that could turn a lot of faculty off from the start. It sort of gives the impression that you are flaky (going from hate to love) and not serious about your study of literature (that you could be so dismissive of such a key author). I don't think either of these things are true, based on the rest of your essay, but someone on the grad admissions committee might not get that far, you know?
Anyway, like I said, I think it is a risky statement with little to no upside, so I'd scratch it and use the extra space to dig deeper into some theory-specifics, as another commenter suggested.
Thanks for the input! I am thinking that rather than completely scratching the hating Portrait of the Artist part, maybe I should make it more clear how I came to change my perspective. I'll play around with it. I appreciate the help!
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Like the previous poster, I liked the last two paragraphs a lot. And I think the beginning has a lot of potential. This biggest gap for me, though, was that you go from hating Joyce to liking his work enough to do a Master's thesis on him without much explanation. Maybe it's a question of space, but I found myself wondering what changed. How did you come to be so interested in Joyce? Did you reread his books until they resonated with you? Did one particular part of his work stand out, or were you just unable to forget what he wrote, even the arrogant-sounding parts? That seemed like a missing piece, to me.
Good luck! I think you've got a really good start here.
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And yeah, I was also wondering if I should include specific theorists that I want to work with, so the fact that you noticed it makes me think that I should.
Thanks!
Reply
A few notes:
I agree with others' critiques of the first paragraph.
I found Joyce’s manipulation of both language and gender roles particularly interesting, and focused my research on feminist and gender studies, primarily in regards to Ulysses.
This needs to be more specific, I think-can you say a little about what you think Joyce does with language & gender roles, and how you used the feminist/gender studies lens to approach Ulysses?
In what ways, I began to wonder, are my students intentionally or unintentionally forging the uncreated conscience of a race through their writing? Should the composition classroom be a politically charged arena in which students forge an identity through their writing, or is this uncreated conscience merely a forgery of identity, reinforced by dominant ideologies ( ... )
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That being said, I have a problem with your first paragraph, especially the discussion of your james joyce hate. I don't think it adds anything to the narrative, but it is distracting. I think it is a risky first sentence that could turn a lot of faculty off from the start. It sort of gives the impression that you are flaky (going from hate to love) and not serious about your study of literature (that you could be so dismissive of such a key author). I don't think either of these things are true, based on the rest of your essay, but someone on the grad admissions committee might not get that far, you know?
Anyway, like I said, I think it is a risky statement with little to no upside, so I'd scratch it and use the extra space to dig deeper into some theory-specifics, as another commenter suggested.
It's definitely a great start!
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