Statement of Purpose hellllp

[look_closer]

Anybody who's interested in helping a poor wannabe MFA candidate (creative writing) with her SOP? I just feel as if I've got no clue what I'm doing, which is pathetic because I'm a writer.

Comments

[crazypumpkin]

I feel like you do a lot of telling, not showing. I've been told to 'show' the reader why I'm so special and why they should pick me, not just tell them I'm wonderful.
I think you have a wonderful story to tell, and I can glean it from what you've written... but it isn't precise, and for a reader like me (a scientist, not a humanities person), it would be difficult for me to see your strengths from this piece.
Why are you curious? What are you nostalgic for?
Yes, for each school, if the prompt tells you to write about why you want to go to that school, you should write about it. I think even if it doesn't say it, find a way to throw it in there. "I want to go to X because I see it as the next step on my path to Q" sort of stuffy. I don't get from this how or why grad school is necessary for you.

[acommonreader]

I thought the EXACT same thing - a lot of telling, and very little in the way of showing (that is, making them see these things by means of your words, rather than simply offering that information on the flat top of your palm - or the proverbial platter).

[awoodnymph]

Agreed.

[loverain]

Agreed. SHOW dont tell, the first thing you learn with creative writing.

I would also advise against "i ache for nostalgia" it's too vague.

>I worked retail. I tried writing grants. I fell in love.

You dont try to write a grant, you either write one or you dont... A common mistake in writers, is to say 'i tried....' Maybe you didn't succeed but if you are going for a strong piece, you must use verbs that move, you know? Maybe just say, I wrote grants, that fits in with the flow of the three sentences. Although I am not sure those three work together. I see what you are trying to do, but I am not convinced.

Also, you've not mentioned any published work other than freelancing for a paper, which is more journalism than CW. That should be included!

[lady_kristi]

I feel torn about this SOP. I really don't know much at all about the expectations of creative writing programs, but I would think that your SOP should be a little more free-flowing than one for, say, a microbiology application. For that reason, I do like the style you've got going here. I imagine the admissions people wouldn't want stark prose. Still, I wonder if you do need to be a little more focused. Perhaps you could zoom in on one particular incident that has inspired you to write creative nonfiction?

I know this comment isn't very helpful. Good luck, though!