(no subject)
i feel like i need to write so i'm gonna do it right here, right now. i used to write religiously. it was a catharsis for me. a way to get the constant hum of my brain from builiding up endlessly. a way to pour some of it out so i don't have to bear the burden alone...but then i begin to wonder if it's right to put my thoughts in other people's thoughts. but hopefully nobody reads this anymore anyway. i just want to get back to the point where my thoughts can flow seamlessly from intangible idea to fingertip to ones and zeros to text to intangible idea. i'. m feeling a lot of strange feelings lately, picking up a lot of weird 'energy' from others. i don't know what's up, but it seems that people are getting settled on their paths. theoretically this is a good thing, but i don't want everybody to retreat into their shells and hide out waiting for the world to end. i want to feel a sense of community and power over my life. i want to feel as though i'm doing something that has an effect, hopefully a positive one, but it's getting to the point where i'd go either way. this is what i try to fight. this is what i see some people giving in to. the basest forms of power and creativity. shit talking, lies, manipulation, humiliation, the simple social power we can exert over others. i don't know, people are people and i know what's right. if you want to think that nothing matters then you're right...your life doesn't matter. i have come to believe that the greatest power and gift that we have is the power to believe. the power to attribute meaning to whatever we choose is what makes us human. the power to choose makes us the creators of the future. whether you like it or not every second of your life is a choice and every choice you make matters. every choice you make changes the future. i hate lies i hate lies i hate lies i hate lies i hate lies. I HATE LIES! little lies lead to mass confusion. lies lead to misunderstanding. lies hide the truth and the truth is the only things that can set our hearts and minds at ease. life is a puzzle, i only want to find my place.