« I feel you in my bones »
There was something fascinating about the stars, Ku decided one day.
Everyone was gone doing this or that, saving a world or two, rekindling old ties and making new friends. Gaining new experiences and starting new adventures.
This left Ku bored and mostly lonely.
At first, he took to wandering around the ship. Doing nothing in particular. Sometimes reading up on his job manual. Sometimes reading up on everyone else’s. And when he bored of that, he would wander into the kitchen to make Sora a sandwich because he really hadn’t been eating enough, or possibly just to follow the recipe so carefully taped to the door of the fridge, in a feeble attempt at bringing his friends back.
He quickly learned what was meant to warm his heart merely scorched his throat and left his tongue numb.
The ship was empty without Sora-like shouts and Axel-like grunts. Without Kai-like laughs and Ri-like snorts. Ku quickly learned that the ship was boring for the most part, and he easily ran out of things to do, even with Sora entirely willing to give him as much attention as he craved.
So, when he got really bored, or even really lonely, Ku took to sitting in a quiet area of the ship with a ledge long and wide enough for him to sit in front of the clear paneling separating him from the worlds his friends were fighting for, separating him from possibly different galaxies and billions upon billions of people. All leading such different lives, most oblivious to the neighboring worlds all around.
He felt small. Insignificant. There was something fascinating about watching the stars, even if it made his heart ache. Even if it made the hot chocolate burn instead of soothe. Even if it reminded him just how far away everyone was, just how far away everything was, it was still fascinating.
He couldn’t help but think of all the lives on every world. What were they all like? Who were they? Did they suffer things like he had? Had they suffered worse? Ku got wrapped up in questions. So many that sometimes he became distracted and forgot about his worries and his woes.
But one thing he never forgot: he wouldn’t be seeing his own world out there. Wasn’t sure if he’d consider it his even if he did happen to glance at it. Never Was was hardly someplace he would be welcomed back at, and he had no intention of returning for leisure. So what did that make him? A reject? Nobody? He laughed at the irony.
There was something fascinating about watching the stars, even if it reminded him that he would never fully fit in on any of them. Even if it reminded him that he was so terribly, terribly alone, even with Sora sitting beside him, sometimes with legs or arms or whole bodies brushing. Even if it left a bitter taste in his mouth, and a twisted frown on his lips.
Ku couldn’t help but watch the stars and think. Sometimes about other people, and sometimes about himself. And though most of his thoughts filled his young heart with pain and with longing and with loneliness, he couldn’t force himself to stop.
There was just something so fascinating about it…