ggreenapple : Spn : No Other Darkness : fic : het & slash : NC17

[appletarts]

title: no other darkness
rating/warnings: NC17 for incest, OC death, theme
content/pairings: AU; GirlSam/Dean, GirlSam/John, Dean/John
wordcount: 2100

read this story @ greenapple.oscillating.net

Comments

[cocombat]

Guh.

I don't know why I read the disturbing, discomforting fic. Apocalypse, where everything is despairing, and that should have clued me in, the tone, but it didn't - I didn't realise til the end that it was.

It gets claustrophobic. Like being submerged in dirty water, everything brown or murky green, running out of oxygen (I think with more uncomfortable fic I start holding my breath a little as I read, tensing up my diaphragm without thinking), as it all seems wrong.

I hadn't realised, why they were alone, why the outside birth (werewolves? Oh dear. Says something that that's where I'd jump), why the goats milk (I got a little panicky - it's baby! Go to a hospital! Get baby formula!). Just thought it was maybe a creepy AU, 'Benders' type Winchesters. Still kinda felt like that, even once I realised it was, post-apocalyse or something. That isolation had replaced normality, in that way it only could if whatever 'happened' had happened a long time ago. When Sam & Dean were kids, and now they'd just grown up with it, each other. It still... made it far less disturbing though (I wish I'd realised earlier), that it was something outside that had brought them to this, not something inherently internal, explanation of why they thought it was maybe ok or normal. Yeah.
Oh well.

[cocombat]

Oh.

I didn't really say I liked it, did I?
Not really proper feedback in a way.

It's not the sort of thing I can actually like though, so I figure it's a better compliment to say it tensed my chest up, the back of my throat, gave me an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, and left me feeling like I was drowning. That's a compliment, right?

[ggreenapple]

That was pretty much my own reaction while writing it. I don't like it, either. :)