good things and bad things and yuck
I am SO GLAD i decided to go home for part of fall break. It felt so amazingly good to go home and be with my family and drive my car and sleep in my bed and eat cake and go shopping and NOT worry about school and...it was just wonderful. For some reason, though, i can't seem to go home without coming back with at least 3 times as much stuff as I leave with... And, somehow, in the three days that i spent at home i managed to spend TONS of money on things that i only sort-of need...but in my defense it felt good doing it and i don't feel one bit of guilt.
Unfortunately, my feelings that i expressed here before have carried over and are still plaguing me (surprise, i've been feeling that way for most of my life..). I seriously hate this school. I'm trying to convince myself that this feeling is simply a product of all the SHITTY classes i am taking this semester, but that really isn't it. And really..it isn't even this school. It's me. It is totally an internal, mental thing..probably some cross between slight forms of anxiety and depression..and it's something that i should probably address using methods other than my usual approach of whining. hmm.
I did, however, get an ever-so-slight confidence boost since i last posted. That exam that i mentioned needing to do well on...well, i got an A! And, you see, to me this is much more than just a good grade... The class is completely curved, meaning that only 25% of the students in all three sections of lecture get A's.. and there are HUNDREDS of students in each of the three sections of this class. So basically what i'm saying is i'm not just happy that i got an A--i'm happy that i got a grade that is better than 75% of those of my classmates. This tells me that--relative to my peers--i don't suck as much as i like to think i do. I REALLY needed this..for the sake of my sanity and my nearly-non-existent sense of self-worth...
The Tigers making it to the World Series also played a surprisingly strong role in raising my level of happiness this week. Pathetic.
Jeffrey won Project Runway. What the fuck?
I FUCKING HATE MY POLISCI AND PHILOSOPHY CLASSES. I am not going to elaborate.
School fucking sucks. I want to drop out. I wish such a course of action was socially acceptable...
My daddy is taking me out to breakfast tomorrow morning before i set out to fail my midterm. I am fucking ecstatic.
Unfortunately, my feelings that i expressed here before have carried over and are still plaguing me (surprise, i've been feeling that way for most of my life..). I seriously hate this school. I'm trying to convince myself that this feeling is simply a product of all the SHITTY classes i am taking this semester, but that really isn't it. And really..it isn't even this school. It's me. It is totally an internal, mental thing..probably some cross between slight forms of anxiety and depression..and it's something that i should probably address using methods other than my usual approach of whining. hmm.
I did, however, get an ever-so-slight confidence boost since i last posted. That exam that i mentioned needing to do well on...well, i got an A! And, you see, to me this is much more than just a good grade... The class is completely curved, meaning that only 25% of the students in all three sections of lecture get A's.. and there are HUNDREDS of students in each of the three sections of this class. So basically what i'm saying is i'm not just happy that i got an A--i'm happy that i got a grade that is better than 75% of those of my classmates. This tells me that--relative to my peers--i don't suck as much as i like to think i do. I REALLY needed this..for the sake of my sanity and my nearly-non-existent sense of self-worth...
The Tigers making it to the World Series also played a surprisingly strong role in raising my level of happiness this week. Pathetic.
Jeffrey won Project Runway. What the fuck?
I FUCKING HATE MY POLISCI AND PHILOSOPHY CLASSES. I am not going to elaborate.
School fucking sucks. I want to drop out. I wish such a course of action was socially acceptable...
My daddy is taking me out to breakfast tomorrow morning before i set out to fail my midterm. I am fucking ecstatic.