FIC: Forever Home - Chapter 9 of 100
Title: Forever Home - Chapter 9
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kadam (Kurt Hummel/Adam Crawford)
Rating: R (PG-13 for now)
Spoilers: AU. If you’ve seen Kurt and Adam interact, you’re good.
Summary: Adam is bored, and realizes he needs a companion. He decides to adopt a hybrid human/cat.
Warning: Mentions of past abuse (non-sexual) from other canon Glee characters. This fic is not particularly kind to most canon Glee characters.
Length: About 4,200 words this chapter. About 28,000 words so far. 461,000 words total.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story; they're owned by Fox. Any non-Glee characters are my own invention.
A/N: This part is still PG-13, but getting closer to R.
Chapter 8
CHAPTER 9
Kurt decided he was in the mood for Harry Potter after all, and they agreed to start reading it that evening.
“I like your room,” Kurt announced.
Adam grinned. “Well that’s a coincidence, so do I.”
“I mean, it’s really comfortable.”
In addition to a large bed that dominated the room, there was also a big, overstuffed recliner chair, some bookshelves on the wall, filled with the books Adam had bought. The closet was large and only a little messy, but Kurt was surprised Adam didn’t have nicer clothes, or more of them. He decided that could be remedied pretty quickly once he started designing some clothes for him.
“I do know how to sew, as well as design,” he announced. “I made some things for myself out of material my dad could afford, that were sort of knockoffs of Marc Jacobs, Alexander McQueen, and some other designers I liked. But I think I can come up with some really amazing things for you.”
Adam smiled, but saw Kurt’s own smile falter.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be bragging about things like that.”
“Why on earth not?”
“I just shouldn’t. I need to learn my place, and keep to it.”
“Oh for God’s sake, that’s ridiculous. Who are you quoting? Because I can practically hear the quotation marks.”
“Um…” Kurt seemed a bit flustered. “Let’s see, my dad’s parents, my neighbors, teachers at school…and Mr. Will.”
“Well, they’re all wrong,” Adam insisted. “Be proud of what you can do, Kurt. Let’s get you the materials you need, for designing and sewing, and you can prove them all wrong.”
He loved the smile that lit up Kurt’s face at those words.
“We can do some research on the computer, in a little bit, and figure out the best kind of sewing machine you’ll need, for instance.”
“Sewing machine? You’d buy me a sewing machine? I’m sure we can find a used one, maybe on eBay or something…”
“Kurt, none of that, please.” Adam put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “I’m sure I can afford to get you a new one. I just want to make sure we get the best equipment for what you’re going to do. Don’t worry about money, let me worry about that. I’ll let you know if something is too expensive.”
“Alright, thank you! I can’t believe… I used to use my mom’s old sewing machine, and it was pretty good when my dad got it for her, but I know there are better ones now.”
“Let’s take a look at what you’ve already got, in terms of clothes and other necessities, and we’ll start making a shopping list. I hate shopping -“
“I love it!” Kurt interrupted.
“Good, then that makes one of us who will be happy. No, Kurt, don’t get upset, I don’t mind. It’s just not something I particularly enjoy, but I have a feeling it will be fun shopping with you, for things you’re excited about.”
Since Adam had literally more money than he knew what to do with, and was able to live pretty well off the dividends from his investments, he really didn’t think it was likely Kurt was going to make a huge dent in his savings. Still, he would definitely let him know if his tastes were getting too expensive. But someone obviously needed to spoil him, and Adam was happy to do so.
Adam showed Kurt the laundry room, and said he’d show him how the washer and dryer worked the next time there were enough clothes to wash.
“I have a feeling with two of us here, the laundry will need to be done twice as often.”
“I’m sorry,” Kurt started to apologize.
Adam sighed. “It’s alright, you have nothing to apologize for. It’s not a big deal, Kurt, I don’t think it’s going to add a lot of work for me now that you’re here. I just wish you’d stop apologizing for everything, like you feel your very existence is an inconvenience. It’s not,” he added quickly, before Kurt could respond. “I don’t care what you’ve been told before by other people, I want you to be a part of my life. You have a right to be alive, and to enjoy that life, hybrid or not. I’d like you to start getting used to that idea.”
Kurt was quiet, thinking it over. “It’s a lot to get used to, but I’ll try.”
As soon as he said it, Adam realized that he really was giving Kurt a hell of a lot to think about, and adapt to, in a very short time.
“It’s okay, I know you’ve got a lot of adjustments to make, and so do I. I’m sure there will be times when we get on each other’s nerves, or have disagreements, but I want you to understand, Kurt, even if I’m angry with you for some reason, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to punish you or make you miserable just to make myself feel better. If you do something wrong by accident, tell me, and we’ll work it out. If you do something wrong deliberately, that’s a different thing, and we’ll have to talk about that too.
“I’d much rather talk things out when there’s a problem, than let it get worse by trying to ignore it. I want us both to be honest with one another. I’m not going to hit you, or call you names, or try to make you feel like you’re always wrong. Sometimes you will be wrong, sometimes I will be, but we should always be able to talk things out.”
He knew he was overwhelming Kurt, but he thought it was important to explain these things to him. He had a feeling some of them were lessons he’d have to impart over and over again until Kurt really learned them, but that was okay.
“Now, I’ll take an inventory of what you need, and then I’ll bet you could use another nap.”
Kurt looked up at him, his eyes huge. “Thank you, Adam, I think I do need one.”
Poor kid, he’s only been here a few hours and I’m dumping too much on him all at once.
It took only a few minutes to make a list of some things they would need, and he hoped Kurt would tell him if there was anything else he’d forgotten or hadn’t thought about. But for now, he could see Kurt was very sleepy.
“Hey, Kurt, why don’t you go ahead and take a nap. You look a bit too tired to make it out to the living room again, so do you want to stay in here? You can close the door if you want privacy, or leave it open if you like. I’ll just be around the apartment somewhere, taking care of a few things. If you can’t find me, just call out for me, okay?”
Kurt nodded, his shoulders slumped and eyelids drooping.
“Shall I help you get your shoes off?” Adam offered.
Kurt hesitated, then agreed.
As soon as he was sure Kurt was comfortable, Adam left him alone, and left the door partially open. Kurt wasn’t the only one with a lot of new things to think about.
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Adam had been able to do a little writing, but found he was too distracted to concentrate for long. He kept wanting to check on Kurt, to make sure he was okay, but he knew, even as a new owner, he couldn’t expect to keep Kurt within eyesight every minute, nor did he want to. He was used to being on his own, and having someone else around, even Kurt, would feel strange at first. He was getting hungry, and bet Kurt was too. He debated about asking him what he wanted for dinner, but thought that maybe even a simple question like that would offer too many choices, and overwhelm him again. He checked the freezer, and saw that he still had some spaghetti sauce left. It wouldn’t take long to thaw it, cook the spaghetti, and throw a salad together. He’d gotten French bread at the store earlier, and decided they’d just have it with butter, instead of making garlic bread. That was the type of thing he probably should ask Kurt about before just serving it to him.
He’d discovered at lunch that he and Kurt both shared an affinity for Diet Coke, but he didn’t want to give it to Kurt too often. It still had caffeine, and Kurt’s system was already a bit overstressed as it was. He would normally have a glass or two of wine with a spaghetti dinner, but thought it might be prudent to stay as alert as possible around Kurt until they were more used to each other. He didn’t think it would be a problem, but he put all the liquor he had in the house in the bar in the living room, and locked it. Hybrid or not, Kurt was a teenager, so he didn’t want to put temptation in his way if it wasn’t necessary.
He thought it might be best to wake Kurt and give him some time to freshen up before starting dinner. That way Kurt would hopefully be ready about the same time as the food. He walked to the hallway outside Kurt’s door and called softly, “Kurt, it’s time to get up. I’m going to fix dinner now.”
He didn’t hear a response, so he called a little louder. Maybe Kurt was just a deep sleeper, though it seemed unlikely, given his history. Still no answer. Adam tapped on the door lightly, and after a moment, opened it further. He expected to see Kurt curled up on the bed, clutching a pillow, the way he’d left him earlier. He saw the covers were slightly mussed, and one of the pillows was askew, but he didn’t see Kurt. The bathroom door was open, but maybe - “Kurt? Where are you?”
Still no answer. He knocked on the bathroom door, heard no protest, and went in. Kurt was nowhere to be found in that room. On a hunch, Adam opened the closet door, but no Kurt was to be found there either. He looked through the entire apartment, surprised that Kurt hadn’t let him know he was awake. Surely he wouldn’t have left the apartment -- No, the door was still locked, and Kurt wouldn’t have had the key to lock it from the outside. It was still on the little hook near the door where Adam always left it.
Now Adam was starting to get a bit angry, as well as worried. He had thought Kurt would be more responsible than to hide…
He smiled as he thought about Misty, Lily’s cat, and something she did far too often for Lily’s peace of mind. He went back to Kurt’s room, knelt on the floor, then lay down on his stomach, and lifted the bedspread. As he’d suspected, Kurt was curled up under the bed, his eyes wide as he stared at Adam. He supposed it was a good sign that he hadn’t changed into cat form.
“Kurt, would you like to come out from under the bed, please?”
“No?” Kurt said hesitantly.
Adam sighed, and rubbed his hand over his face, unsure how to handle this. “Alright, I’m not going to insist. But next time, please answer me when I call. I was getting very concerned about you. I thought perhaps you’d run away or something.”
“No, I would never do that!” Kurt insisted.
“Well, when I couldn’t find you, and you didn’t answer me, I didn’t know what to think. I don’t know about you, but my back isn’t liking this position at all, so I’m going to go ahead and start making dinner. If you’d like to clean up and join me, I’d like that. If you need more time to be alone, that’s fine, too. I’ll leave your dinner in the fridge and you can heat it up in the microwave later.”
“You’d do that? You wouldn’t make me go without dinner?”
Adam bit his tongue. “No, Kurt, I wouldn’t do that. Just come out when you’re ready.”
He couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice. He really thought he’d done a good job at handling Kurt so far, and it hurt to think that Kurt didn’t trust him, and felt like he needed to hide to be left alone.
Almost exactly ten minutes later, Kurt showed up in the kitchen. His clothes were surprisingly neat and clean, though he knew Nancy wouldn’t allow any dust bunnies to gather under the bed. His eyes were a bit red, as though he’d been crying, and Adam saw some water droplets in his hair and on his shirt collar, so he’d presumably washed his face and hands.
“Have a seat. Dinner is almost ready.” He’d already set the table and put the parmesan cheese and a couple different types of salad dressing on the table. He wanted to see how Kurt reacted to a choice of just two things.
Kurt sat at the table, and was quiet, though Adam could feel Kurt’s gaze on him the entire time until he set the food on the table.
“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, his voice a little huskier than usual, from crying. “I know you said to stop apologizing, but I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“I accept your apology. It’s okay to apologize when you know you’ve done something wrong, but you don’t need to apologize for, you know, breathing too loud or something.”
“Am I breathing too loud?” Kurt asked, then slapped himself lightly. “I’m sorry, I know that wasn’t - damn it! I’m sorry I keep -” He stopped, and kept his mouth shut as Adam served the food.
“That maybe wasn’t the best example I could have used,” Adam admitted. “I’d rather you didn’t hit yourself if you think you’ve done something wrong, just because you think somebody needs to.”
“But I didn’t - I don’t - oh, yeah. I didn’t really even think about it.”
“Well, I think you’ve had entirely too much to think about today, so let’s just eat dinner now, and we’ll talk later.” He got up and turned the radio back on.
Kurt waited until Adam started eating. He looked at both bottles of salad dressing curiously, and started to reach out, then pulled his hand back.
“What’s the matter?” Adam asked.
Kurt shrugged. “I don’t know what I want. We had salad at the store, but there was just one kind of dressing. I’m not even sure what kind it was, but it was kind of boring. And kind of bitter,” he added, shuddering.
“Ah, it might have been oil and vinegar. It’s healthy, but I agree, not terribly tasty. I’m having the Italian dressing with mine. It’s got oil and vinegar, but some other things as well. The other is ranch. It’s creamier, and just a little bit sweet. Just put a little bit on, and if you don’t like it, try the Italian.”
He realized he’d said the magic word with “sweet”. Kurt apparently did like it; he used quite a bit of it.
He’d served them both ice water with dinner, and as he expected, Kurt didn’t ask for anything else. He wondered if he should have given him milk, since he was still a growing boy, then tried not to giggle when he remembered Kurt would probably be fond of milk. It wasn’t terribly good for him in his hybrid form, but as a human he could certainly drink it.
After dinner, he let Kurt wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen, while he tried to figure out what to say without causing further problems. He wasn’t all that surprised that Kurt was exhibiting distinctly feline methods of coping with stress, but he also didn’t want him to get away with not answering when Adam was trying to find him. He knew it wasn’t a game, or a joke, but it was best to set boundaries sooner than later.
“Let’s go in the living room and talk for a bit, then we can start reading Harry Potter, if you like.” He remembered he’d also suggested they play the piano, but thought it best to tackle that at another time.
“Sure, whatever you want.”
Kurt sounded calm and controlled, but Adam could see his eyes were bright with unshed tears. He took his shoes off, sat on the couch, and gestured for Kurt to sit at the other end. Adam turned so his back was to the arm of the couch, and his knees up to his chin, so he could look directly at Kurt. At first Kurt was very stiff, his hands clutching his knees through the worn fabric of his jeans. Then Kurt sighed, and turned a bit more, to face Adam a little more directly. He took a deep breath, and bit his lip, probably to keep from crying.
“Kurt, I want you to know, I think you’re doing very well, considering you haven’t even been here a full day. But I want to make it clear, I need to know, in general, where you are. I can hear the bell on your collar if you’re moving around, but when you’re deliberately staying still, you know that sound isn’t going to give you away.”
Kurt nodded.
“Do you understand why I was upset that I couldn’t find you?”
“Yes, I think so.”
Adam waited, then sighed. “And that reason was…?”
“You were worried about me, because you couldn’t find me.”
“Good. Do you know why you were hiding from me?”
Kurt slowly shook his head. “Not really. I mean, I know you said you wouldn’t hurt me, and you probably won’t if you say you’re not going to, but I needed time to think about things, and I was having trouble sleeping on the bed. It was too comfortable. I mean, I wanted to fall asleep, but I wasn’t sure I should, because I needed to think about things, but I didn’t want to, I wanted to sleep instead. So I got under the bed, ‘cause it’s a little more like what I’m used to, and I was able to sleep. When I heard you calling me, I thought I’d get in trouble for not being on the bed where you left me, so I didn’t say anything, ‘cause I didn’t want you to get mad at me. Then I knew you’d get mad at me for not answering, and I got kind of scared, and I knew I was making it worse by not saying anything, but I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t make you upset. So I didn’t say anything.”
Adam listened patiently, trying to make sense of Kurt’s rambling thoughts. Well, he had said they should talk things out, hadn’t he?
“Do you know what you should have done instead?”
“No.”
At least Kurt didn’t sound scared at the moment, just annoyed.
“I’ll make it easy for you and tell you this time,” Adam said, keeping eye contact with him. “Later on you can figure things out for yourself. You should have said something like, “I’m here, under the bed. I’m not ready to come out yet.”
“If I’d said that, you’d have left me alone?”
“Yes. I’d probably have checked on you in a couple of hours, to make sure you were alright. I don’t want to force you to do things you’re not comfortable with, but I need to know you’re okay, and you’re safe. As a cat, you can’t say it, but you could at least meow or something so I know where you are.”
“Okay. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. I mean, I might, but I’ll let you know, if I hear you looking for me.”
“Another thing you could do, is just tell me, hey, I need some time to myself, I’m going to my room, and I’ll come out when I’m ready.”
Kurt looked so puzzled Adam had to struggle not to laugh. “I can say that? I mean, you won’t get mad if I do?”
“No, not as long as we don’t have to go somewhere. If I’m trying to take you to a doctor appointment, for instance, you can’t decide you’re just not in the mood.”
“The vet, you mean,” Kurt corrected him.
“No, a doctor should be fine.”
Kurt shook his head. “I’m sorry to correct you, I mean, I know we’re not supposed to do that, but I always had to go to the vet, because people doctors don’t treat hybrids.”
Now that was new information to Adam. He hadn’t run across that in anything he’d read, but all of this was still very new to him.
“I’ll look into it and see what I can find out, because I do want you to have regular checkups to make sure you’re okay. And it’s okay to correct me if I’m wrong, or you think I’m wrong. As I said, let’s talk it out. Being polite so you don’t hurt my feelings doesn’t really solve the problem, does it?”
“No, but are you sure you won’t get mad?”
Adam laughed. “I promise I won’t get mad. I’m quite used to a variety of people telling me I’m wrong, or I don’t know what I’m talking about. Sometimes they’re right, sometimes I am, but you’re not going to hurt my feelings that way.”
“Okay. I’ll try to remember all this.”
“Kurt, I’m throwing a lot of new things at you at once. I don’t expect you to remember everything, but I’m just trying to make sure you’re not scared I’m going to hurt you or something. I don’t want you to be scared. I want you to learn to make choices, and accept the consequences of your choice. We all make mistakes, but we can still learn from them. And I think that’s quite enough lecturing for tonight.”
Kurt nodded. Adam could see he was shivering a little.
“Are you cold?”
“Uh huh. Can I maybe wrap up in the blanket?”
“Sure. Or - wait, let me get out of this thing.” Adam had put on a hoodie earlier in the day, but he was getting too warm. “I’ve only been wearing it a few hours, and I think it’s pretty clean. It’s not sweaty, anyway.”
“Thank you.” Kurt let Adam help him on with the garment, which was a size or two too large for him. “Oh, this is warm. And it’s got a hood!” He immediately pulled it over his head.
Adam wasn’t sure if it was to keep him warm, or another form of hiding, but it didn’t really matter. Kurt was comfortable, not crying or upset or angry, so he decided to call it a win.
“Why don’t you stay there for a bit and get cozy. Wear the blanket, too, if you want. I’m going to get the first Harry Potter book, and we can read it together, if you want.”
“I’d like that,” Kurt sighed.
“Okay. If you need to go to the bathroom, now would be a good time. Otherwise, stay here and I’ll be right back.”
“I don’t need to go.”
Adam came back with the book a couple of minutes later, and he sat close to Kurt on the sofa. He opened the book, and began to read aloud. Every now and then he checked to see how Kurt was reacting, if he seemed to be tracking the words. He seemed to be very absorbed in the story. Adam continued reading, and after a little while, Kurt moved closer, till he was almost in Adam’s lap. Adam put one arm around him to hold him securely, and read to him till Kurt’s head fell on his shoulder.
“Sleepy? Are you ready for bed?”
“Mm-hm,” Kurt murmured.
“Come on, let’s get you settled. I’d appreciate it if you could try to sleep in the bed. If it’s too soft, we can put a board under the mattress, or get a new mattress for you, but I’d be less worried about you if you slept in the bed, rather than under it.”
“Okay. Don’t I need to take a shower first?”
“You can wait till tomorrow morning, if you want. Just come out when you’re ready. If I’m still asleep and you’re hungry, you can have some cereal and milk, and I’ll fix you a proper breakfast later.”
“But that is a proper breakfast,” Kurt objected sleepily.
Adam sighed, but kept his arm around Kurt as he steered him towards the bedroom.
“Well, it’s not a proper breakfast in this household. It’s fine every now and then, but I have more energy if I have a hot meal to start the day.”
“Okay.” Kurt tried to suppress a yawn.
Adam helped him into pajamas and reminded him if he needed anything, he was just down the hall.
“Sleep well, Kurt.”
“No bad dreams?” he asked.
“No bad dreams,” Adam agreed.
He left the door open, and had barely crossed the threshold when he heard a soft snore from the bed. He smiled, and decided their first day had gone very well.
Next - Chapter 10