i love to ramble on and on and on
i'm not sure if it's safe to say that i'm feeling any better...however, this past weekend blew me away i had so much fun!!
well erm thursday was Thanksgiving...it was so wonderful!! i love being with all my families considering i never get to see them much and i have a new cousin who's 4 months and he is just so adorable and we had some cool neighbor guys and their parents came over (We were at my grandparents in Tiger Point =P) and we all just had fun!!! and the food was so delicious!!
hehe Friday kicked off the whole weekend! we went back to the grandparents and visited with the rest of the family then Jordan came over and after like half an hour on the phone with Caroline,we convinced her to come swingdancing with us!! so we get their like 30 minutes early and all this like goth-like people (i have nothing against them..that's just..what they are..lol) were there kind of lounging around so we just sat there laughing amongst ourselves when finally John, Sean, Steve, and Greg show up and we all take lessons and have a fun fun fun time!!! haha and John you weren't bad at all, silly! =P ahh that was my first time and it was just so much fun!! i can't say that enough! anyhoo well Jordan and Caroline slept over and we just talked about swingdancing all weekend..eek i can't wait til this friday!!!
well Saturday the whole house went shopping without us so we had a Harry Potter movie marathon (WOOO!! ~_^) and weee my sister had a bunch of girlies over and we all just kind of hung out...and i think i nearly bored Jordan and Caroline to death earlier that night because i got really bummed out of nowhere and i felt so tired so i just layed on my bed and cried. i still can't figure out why it's kind of weird. so i sat there trying to convince them to go to the ice pilots game without me, but instead they just convinced me to go and i'm so glad i did!! we got there at the last quarter (caroline, jordan, sean, john, and steve oh and me) and then went ice skating!!!! yay for forging =P! (oh yeah jordan sam said that her and vickie saw us walking during the game and they were calling my name, but we didn't hear them!! =P) weehee now all my right leg (why just that leg i have no idea...) and my stomach are all sore oh well it was all so worth it! then we went to krispy kreme hehehe that was yummy then we went to wallyworld then at like 1 we made it home (hmm my parents didn't even ask me when i got in let alone acted like they cared..haha cool!) EEK thanks guys for like an amazingly fantastic weekend!!!! jordan, caroline and i couldn't stop talking about it we were still talking about it today!! =D =P ;D
well Sunday (oh yeah caroline and jordan stayed the night again and we just stayed up talking for like forever and then watched POTC yay!) so we just kind of all lounged around the house all day til they left then i went to church! it always gives me this excited feeling and at the same time a real lonely feeling. it's weird i've lost so much grip on my faith i don't know why i've been doing everything the same i know it's my fault it's not that i think i can make it through without Him, it's just lately it feels like He just has bigger things to worry about than me and i know that's an aweful thing to think, but i absorb it so easily because i already feel so alone i guess i figure hey if no one else cares then why should He? akk that's so terrible to say, but it's how i feel, ya know? and no matter how hard i've been trying to get it back i know He's listening, but i never get any response back. i guess i'm just not trying hard enough or i haven't opened my heart wide enough or something, but i'm trying so desperately hard but im still left so empty. i suppose He is just carrying me through all this. i keep telling myself that's why, but it's hard when you're already so lonely inside. ahh i don't know im just rambling on ignore me! =P haha wow i just read through that and yeah i rambled a lot..haha i don't expect you to make sense of it =P well anyways after i -tried- saying goodbye to everyone at church (Steve, you anti-hugger =P ;D) i got in the car (hahaha Chris and Ryan: no, it's not a firebird it's the new mustang you guys are so silly i'm surprised you guys didn't drool cause you guys totally freaked out over it hahah and NO it's not MY car !!! =P =P) so anyways yeah i got in the car and i got that really bummed feeling i started crying so then i go home and i can't talk to my parents about anything because i just don't know what to say and i cried for about three hours ahahah while i was trying to do my homework so then im lying there trying to go to sleep and like all my pillows and everything are all soaked and i get really angry and i start hitting everything and trying to rip them and then i just fell asleep. hahahaha im so weiiiiiiiird i just have to laugh, but it's kind of scary ahahhaa i scare myself and i have noo idea why i got all emotional like that last night. eek! >_<
-so today was a fairly well day i couldn't stop thinking about someone all day wee!! it was strange. so anyways i have a lot of homework and tests to study for so yep!
-thanks yall (yall know whooo) for like the GrEaTeSt weekend (especially you heheheh =D =D) haha wow cool me and steve are on the pensacolaswing website from friday! =P
-weee christmas presents!!! i need to stop spending my money! ahh!
-hemmm bowling would be fun!!!
-i've lost you completely =[
have a lovely day!
-wee i miss you? blah i hate crushes >_<
-eeek that was a lot of writing just a lot rambling mostly =P
.The new Pizza Hut place. =P
well erm thursday was Thanksgiving...it was so wonderful!! i love being with all my families considering i never get to see them much and i have a new cousin who's 4 months and he is just so adorable and we had some cool neighbor guys and their parents came over (We were at my grandparents in Tiger Point =P) and we all just had fun!!! and the food was so delicious!!
hehe Friday kicked off the whole weekend! we went back to the grandparents and visited with the rest of the family then Jordan came over and after like half an hour on the phone with Caroline,we convinced her to come swingdancing with us!! so we get their like 30 minutes early and all this like goth-like people (i have nothing against them..that's just..what they are..lol) were there kind of lounging around so we just sat there laughing amongst ourselves when finally John, Sean, Steve, and Greg show up and we all take lessons and have a fun fun fun time!!! haha and John you weren't bad at all, silly! =P ahh that was my first time and it was just so much fun!! i can't say that enough! anyhoo well Jordan and Caroline slept over and we just talked about swingdancing all weekend..eek i can't wait til this friday!!!
well Saturday the whole house went shopping without us so we had a Harry Potter movie marathon (WOOO!! ~_^) and weee my sister had a bunch of girlies over and we all just kind of hung out...and i think i nearly bored Jordan and Caroline to death earlier that night because i got really bummed out of nowhere and i felt so tired so i just layed on my bed and cried. i still can't figure out why it's kind of weird. so i sat there trying to convince them to go to the ice pilots game without me, but instead they just convinced me to go and i'm so glad i did!! we got there at the last quarter (caroline, jordan, sean, john, and steve oh and me) and then went ice skating!!!! yay for forging =P! (oh yeah jordan sam said that her and vickie saw us walking during the game and they were calling my name, but we didn't hear them!! =P) weehee now all my right leg (why just that leg i have no idea...) and my stomach are all sore oh well it was all so worth it! then we went to krispy kreme hehehe that was yummy then we went to wallyworld then at like 1 we made it home (hmm my parents didn't even ask me when i got in let alone acted like they cared..haha cool!) EEK thanks guys for like an amazingly fantastic weekend!!!! jordan, caroline and i couldn't stop talking about it we were still talking about it today!! =D =P ;D
well Sunday (oh yeah caroline and jordan stayed the night again and we just stayed up talking for like forever and then watched POTC yay!) so we just kind of all lounged around the house all day til they left then i went to church! it always gives me this excited feeling and at the same time a real lonely feeling. it's weird i've lost so much grip on my faith i don't know why i've been doing everything the same i know it's my fault it's not that i think i can make it through without Him, it's just lately it feels like He just has bigger things to worry about than me and i know that's an aweful thing to think, but i absorb it so easily because i already feel so alone i guess i figure hey if no one else cares then why should He? akk that's so terrible to say, but it's how i feel, ya know? and no matter how hard i've been trying to get it back i know He's listening, but i never get any response back. i guess i'm just not trying hard enough or i haven't opened my heart wide enough or something, but i'm trying so desperately hard but im still left so empty. i suppose He is just carrying me through all this. i keep telling myself that's why, but it's hard when you're already so lonely inside. ahh i don't know im just rambling on ignore me! =P haha wow i just read through that and yeah i rambled a lot..haha i don't expect you to make sense of it =P well anyways after i -tried- saying goodbye to everyone at church (Steve, you anti-hugger =P ;D) i got in the car (hahaha Chris and Ryan: no, it's not a firebird it's the new mustang you guys are so silly i'm surprised you guys didn't drool cause you guys totally freaked out over it hahah and NO it's not MY car !!! =P =P) so anyways yeah i got in the car and i got that really bummed feeling i started crying so then i go home and i can't talk to my parents about anything because i just don't know what to say and i cried for about three hours ahahah while i was trying to do my homework so then im lying there trying to go to sleep and like all my pillows and everything are all soaked and i get really angry and i start hitting everything and trying to rip them and then i just fell asleep. hahahaha im so weiiiiiiiird i just have to laugh, but it's kind of scary ahahhaa i scare myself and i have noo idea why i got all emotional like that last night. eek! >_<
-so today was a fairly well day i couldn't stop thinking about someone all day wee!! it was strange. so anyways i have a lot of homework and tests to study for so yep!
-thanks yall (yall know whooo) for like the GrEaTeSt weekend (especially you heheheh =D =D) haha wow cool me and steve are on the pensacolaswing website from friday! =P
-weee christmas presents!!! i need to stop spending my money! ahh!
-hemmm bowling would be fun!!!
-i've lost you completely =[
have a lovely day!
-wee i miss you? blah i hate crushes >_<
-eeek that was a lot of writing just a lot rambling mostly =P
.The new Pizza Hut place. =P