4 months is a long time
i haven't posted on this thing in four months. it has been a busy four months. so much has changed and yet sooo much has stayed the same. bad things have stayed the same sadly. my brother came to stay with me during the holidays and that was so lovely. we went the sea, york, cambridge and london as well as some nice local spots. i miss him so much now. for the last two years i have felt so detached from my family. it has been very very hard because i am always wanting to see them. i wish i was better at writting letters and making phone calls. things have been good though. the last couple of weeks have been good for me mentally. i am in desperate need to change my job. the romance of working a vegetarian workers coop had DIED for me. guess it did a long old time ago. i just kept going because there was so much to do there. it has been a real crash course in business running though. a really good experience as well. i have met some amazing people throughout it all and made some nice friends. i have so much to do with some major decisions involving the shop. when i started it was a tiny little healthfood shop. since then we have moved to an amazing, huge space, opened a cafe and are now much more of a little super market. i do love that shop. it's so beautiful and i'm so so so proud i have had such a hand in every single thing from sorting out refrigeration to picking out paint colors and lighting. i've even acted as a contractor! i totally love the customers as well. but man. it has been a lot of work. i think that the idea behind workers co-operatives is fantastic. there are so few left. we the oldest in leeds. it's so amazing it has been going for 30 years. but the thing that i find so difficult is the fact that not everyone carries there own weight. people just want everything to be easy. this has meant that to me beano has taken a toll.i just feel washed out and jaded a bit. like i have worked so hard and i don't actually have that much to show for it.atleast i know now that i can run a business. i can make good choices for a business. so this has lead me the conclusion that i am going to start my own. i'm working on getting grants and art council funding right now. it's so exciting. james and my brother are helping me with the design and pr side of things. it feel like this might actually work. there will be more to come on this later. i feel like i have come to a cross roads work wise and i need to do something serious. i'm 26 i've been married for 2 years and i need to stop being homesick and get busy! well now i need to get busy researching. drinking green gage roobios tea and watching the day outside my window. 2007...it's gonna be a good year!