Pushing Who: Happy-Go-Weirdy - A Doctor Who/Pushing Daisies crossover, 5/?
“Pushing Who: Happy-Go-Weirdy” - A Doctor Who/Pushing Daisies crossover.
Collab between me and my friend Jess. I’ll write a chapter, she’ll write a chapter.
Title: Pushing Who: Happy-Go-Weirdy
Genre: Crossover, Mystery, Humour, Drama
Story By: Immy (applegrass-wolf) and Jess
This Chapter By: Jess
Word Count: 2,099
Disclaimer: Characters not ours, DW © BBC and PD © Bryan Fuller/ABC/etc. (oh how that corporation is loathed).
An ordinary day at the Pie Hole, and Chuck and Ned are planning a picnic. But all this is halted by the arrival of a strange man and three companions in a bizarre blue box…chaos ensues…and Emerson finds he might just need their help with the latest, most mysterious case.
CHAPTER FIVE!
Chapter Five
In Which the Pie-Holers and the TARDIS Crew Join Forces
“And don’t you even think about complaining that you’re in the back again!” Emerson said, as he ushered the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck away from The Pie Hole into his car.
“Fine,” the girl who was not dead sulked.
“Now, someone wanna explain to me why a guy who fell 30 storeys is up and walking around, cos I ain’t buying that hyper-flexo-hoohah crap,” Emerson said, shooting a suspicious look in the Pie-maker’s direction.
“It wasn’t me!” the man in question protested, “At least, I don’t think it was. He woke up before I even touched him, which shouldn’t be possible. Although I could have accidentally touched one of his hairs or something, but I don’t think so,”
“There’s something not quite normal about all of them,” Chuck mused, “They didn’t seem too worried about the possibility of Jack dying. Maybe he has got that Hyperflexothingy disease…”
“Normal…You guys are talking about who’s normal and who’s not?” Emerson laughed under his breath.
“The Doctor did seem to act like Jack falling off buildings happened a lot,” the Pie-maker continued, ignoring Emerson’s snigger.
“Doctor,” the private investigator snorted, “I bet that hyped-up hairball couldn’t even stick on a plaster he’s so full of caffeine,”
“I liked him,” Chuck grinned, “He’s one of those people who just seem to be genuinely nice. They all seem really nice,”
“Yeah, you and your happy-go-weirdy buddies all seem to get along, especially you and that dead guy,” Emerson hinted at Chuck, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Pie man here got all jealous and ‘re-dead-ed’ him again,”
“I didn’t “undead” him in the first place!” the Pie-maker said, protesting his innocence again.
“Then why’s he still alive?” Emerson countered.
“I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about,” Chuck comforted her jealous boyfriend, “I think Jack’s more interested in you than he is in me,”
Emerson chuckled, ignoring the Pie-maker’s slight confused shudder and pulling up outside the morgue. The three stepped out of the car, Chuck adjusting her yellow headscarf as she went, their heads full of wonderings about the unusual foursome they’d left at The Pie Hole. Or so they thought.
~*~
“Eurgh!”
Emerson Cod, the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck recoiled in slight horror and shock when they first saw the body on the table. Chuck was the first to speak,
“How did it get so…?”
“Purple?” Emerson suggested. He cleared his throat and consulted his notes before continuing, “This here is Tobias Skywalker. A bird enthusiast, his ex-girlfriend found him lying dead in a birdbath,”
“Which of course makes her suspect number one,” Chuck said.
“Of course. His brother’s the one who hired us because he doesn’t believe the official report on the body, and he’s already told me a lot about Miss Maria Moore,” Emerson replied.
“Oooh! The jealous ex-girlfriend scenario!” Chuck said excitedly. Emerson nodded,
“Apparently the body started turning purple when it was taken away,”
“What’s the official report?” the Pie-maker asked.
“Death by lethal injection,” Emerson smiled, “So you might wanna be careful when you go waking it up,”
“This day just keeps getting better and better,” the Pie-maker muttered, pushing up his sleeves and leaning closer to the corpse.
“Alrighty then! What’s going on here?” Ned sprang back from Tobias’s body almost guiltily as the Doctor exploded his way into the room, rubbing his hands together energetically. Jack and Martha followed him, with identical grins and interest sparkling in their eyes.
“Doctor! What are you doing here?” Chuck asked happily, with a grin as wide as the Doctor’s.
“Hi again, Ned,” the Captain winked at the Pie man. Emerson, meanwhile, was checking his watch and growing angrier by the second.
“There was a murder, and murders are what I do best. Didn’t I tell you about me and Agatha Christie?” the Doctor flashed a dazzling grin at the investigators, oblivious to the tension that was slowly building up in the room, “Although, I’m not saying that me murdering people is what I do best, I’m not that kind of man at all…”
“How did he die?” Martha asked, deftly pulling a small medical torch out of her jacket pocket, and beginning to inspect the body.
“Lethal injection,” Chuck answered, smiling slightly at her. Jack and the Doctor joined Martha at the side of the table, one man on either side of the medical student, so that the trio were facing Ned, Emerson and Chuck respectively.
“Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?” Martha asked.
“I’m not sure. It looks familiar, but I can’t be certain just yet,” the Doctor replied, picking up a foot and examining it, “I’m sure I’ve seen this exact shade of purple somewhere before…”
The Doctor and Martha got stuck right in with the medical examinations. The former had pulled out his specs again and was muttering with the medical student as they checked eyes, teeth, veins and skin. Chuck looked intrigued, so leant in to give a hand where needed. The Pie-maker was trying hard not to be jealous of Chuck’s interest in the strange Doctor, while also attempting to avoid locking gazes with the Captain, who was desperately trying to get the Pie-maker’s attention. As things took a weird and unusual turn, the Pie-maker began to stress-bake in his head, and Emerson began to stress-knit in his. The situation that had been quite happily contained up until a few short moments ago was now spinning wildly out of Emerson’s control.
“How did you get here, anyway?” Emerson snapped suddenly.
“Well, Ned left his car keys…” the Doctor began innocently, noticing how the Pie-maker began to squirm under the private investigator’s accusing look.
“The cute blonde led us here,” Jack explained.
“You left… your car keys…?” Emerson breathed angrily, glaring at the Pie-maker. The Pie-maker backed away from the seething investigator, right into Captain Harkness’s welcoming arms.
“Agh!” the Pie-maker let out a little squeak of terror, tripped over his own feet and fell…. onto Tobias’ body on the table. As soon as his hands connected with the purple flesh, a flash of gold light spread through the body. Dreading what would happen next; Ned immediately touched the body again, before it even had a chance to move.
“Well, that was odd,” the Doctor commented, his hands still exploring the dead body, “Thought there was a flash of body heat there, but no, I must have been imagining it,”
The Pie-maker looked at Chuck. Chuck looked at the Pie-maker. They both wore identical expressions of shock and slight fear. Emerson was livid, realising now that there was no way the murder would be solved quickly, and that he wouldn’t be able to continue his knitting any time soon. Stress-knitting was no longer helping; his anger needed a target.
“So, what do you guys normally do?” the Doctor asked randomly, looking up at Emerson and smiling manically.
“Don’t you go smiling at me!” Emerson replied, avoiding the question, “You and your big hair just ruined my murder investigation!”
He pointed an accusatory finger at the Doctor, who adopted an innocent and confused expression, which Chuck decided was completely adorable.
“Me? I was helping!” he protested.
“No, you weren’t. If I’d needed your help I would have asked for it!” Emerson growled.
“Wait, you said he died from a lethal injection, right?” Martha asked the investigator, looking up from Tobias’ body for the first time, defusing a highly charged situation before it had a chance to explode.
“Yes…” Emerson replied, distracted and slightly placated for a moment.
“Then why isn’t there a bruise?” Martha mused, “There is no indication anywhere that he was injected with anything,”
“Really?” the Doctor asked, giving the body another glance, “You’re right! How did I miss that?” Emerson rolled his eyes in the Doctor’s general direction.
“So that means that he wasn’t killed by a lethal injection...” Chuck mused to the Pie-maker.
“Then what did he die of?” the Pie-maker mused back.
“It also means that our friend here was murdered using a method rarely seen on this planet,” the Doctor added.
“How’d you come to that conclusion?” Emerson asked suspiciously. Jack frowned, knowing that the Doctor was about to tell their new found ‘friends’ their secret. He could only imagine Emerson’s reaction, and he didn’t think he’d like it.
“Well,” the Doctor began, preparing to launch into an explanation full of jargon, alien terminology and a slight dash of technobabble, “We have three possibilities,”
He paused, waiting for everyone to pay attention. This, he knew, was going to be important. Emerson seemed a bit miffed, feeling that he was about to be outperformed by the Doctor, but the others were regarding the be-suited one with varying degrees of interest.
“One, venom from the highly dangerous and deadly Caernopholocchi Cobra. However, this is highly unlikely as they are native to the Roscor System. Possibility number B is just as unlikely - a sting from a Seku-Seku bird. But there’s no way a flock of Seku-Sekus could survive the flight from the Marogun galaxy to Earth, so that’s out the window. And lastly,” he paused, realising that he probably should stop and breathe at some point, “Lastly, it could be an extremely clever lead based paint that doesn’t look like paint and kills on contact with human flesh,”
A short silence followed the Doctor’s explanation. The Captain and the medical student were digesting the Doctor’s latest spool of information, while the private investigator, the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck were internally debating how to react to this strange outburst. Emerson’s brain was the first to reach a conclusion: he laughed.
“What do you think I am, stupid?” he chortled, then began to attempt to take control of the situation again, “Right. Let’s split up. Chuck, you and Pie man over there can go and speak to Maria Moore, and I’ll go pump Skywalker’s brother for information,”
“What can we do?” the Doctor asked, smiling widely and looking helpful.
“You can get the hell outta here!” Emerson snapped.
“Hey, we’re just trying to help,” Jack said calmly.
“Besides, with more people to help, we’ll be able to split up and get more done,” Chuck put in.
“This means you’ll be able to count your money quicker,” the Pie-maker muttered in Emerson’s ear, knowing that this statement would have the desired effect.
“Well, I’m going to go back to the scene of the crime. There might be more evidence as to how he died there,” Martha said, earning a smile from the usually grumpy investigator.
“I like the way you think, Miss Jones,” Emerson said, thinking the situation over again before concluding, “Right. Ned - you’re on information duty. Question suspects. I’ll give you a copy of the list of most likely people,”
“Ooh! Take pie!” Chuck suggested, “You’re supposed to take food when people die, remember?”
The Pie-maker nodded, and was about to ask Emerson if Chuck could go with him, so they could spend at least some of the day together, when Jack interjected with,
“I’ll go with him. I’m good at getting people to do what I want,” he winked at the Pie-maker, who sighed and grudgingly decided to resign himself to the fact that the flirtatious Captain was not going to leave him alone.
“I’m going to take a blood sample from the body,” the Doctor decided.
“I’ll help!” Chuck smiled. The Doctor grinned back at her.
“Great, I’ll need a hand,” he said happily.
“Alright,” Emerson agreed, “Me and Miss Jones will investigate the crime scene,”
“Scope out some clues!” Martha grinned.
“What about Donna and Olive?” the Captain enquired, reminding the others of the two slightly more squeamish women they’d left outside.
“Yeah, Olive will want to help,” Chuck said to Emerson.
“No, I need someone to look after The Pie Hole while we’re gone, and seeing as you’re going to help the Doctor, Olive will have to man the shop for us,” the Pie-maker replied to the girl he loved. She smiled back at him, glad that he was going to put his jealous tendencies aside and let her go off with a strange and strangely attractive man.
“And I want Donna to look at the kind of paint you sell around here,” the Doctor mused, staring off into space, “I’ve got a suspicious feeling that I could be right about that...”
Luckily, as all he could see were the scenarios in his head emblazoned on the morgue wall, the Doctor didn’t see the weird looks the Pie-maker, the private investigator, the Captain, Martha, and even Chuck were giving him.
__________________________
End of chapter five.
Collab between me and my friend Jess. I’ll write a chapter, she’ll write a chapter.
Title: Pushing Who: Happy-Go-Weirdy
Genre: Crossover, Mystery, Humour, Drama
Story By: Immy (applegrass-wolf) and Jess
This Chapter By: Jess
Word Count: 2,099
Disclaimer: Characters not ours, DW © BBC and PD © Bryan Fuller/ABC/etc. (oh how that corporation is loathed).
An ordinary day at the Pie Hole, and Chuck and Ned are planning a picnic. But all this is halted by the arrival of a strange man and three companions in a bizarre blue box…chaos ensues…and Emerson finds he might just need their help with the latest, most mysterious case.
CHAPTER FIVE!
Chapter Five
In Which the Pie-Holers and the TARDIS Crew Join Forces
“And don’t you even think about complaining that you’re in the back again!” Emerson said, as he ushered the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck away from The Pie Hole into his car.
“Fine,” the girl who was not dead sulked.
“Now, someone wanna explain to me why a guy who fell 30 storeys is up and walking around, cos I ain’t buying that hyper-flexo-hoohah crap,” Emerson said, shooting a suspicious look in the Pie-maker’s direction.
“It wasn’t me!” the man in question protested, “At least, I don’t think it was. He woke up before I even touched him, which shouldn’t be possible. Although I could have accidentally touched one of his hairs or something, but I don’t think so,”
“There’s something not quite normal about all of them,” Chuck mused, “They didn’t seem too worried about the possibility of Jack dying. Maybe he has got that Hyperflexothingy disease…”
“Normal…You guys are talking about who’s normal and who’s not?” Emerson laughed under his breath.
“The Doctor did seem to act like Jack falling off buildings happened a lot,” the Pie-maker continued, ignoring Emerson’s snigger.
“Doctor,” the private investigator snorted, “I bet that hyped-up hairball couldn’t even stick on a plaster he’s so full of caffeine,”
“I liked him,” Chuck grinned, “He’s one of those people who just seem to be genuinely nice. They all seem really nice,”
“Yeah, you and your happy-go-weirdy buddies all seem to get along, especially you and that dead guy,” Emerson hinted at Chuck, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Pie man here got all jealous and ‘re-dead-ed’ him again,”
“I didn’t “undead” him in the first place!” the Pie-maker said, protesting his innocence again.
“Then why’s he still alive?” Emerson countered.
“I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about,” Chuck comforted her jealous boyfriend, “I think Jack’s more interested in you than he is in me,”
Emerson chuckled, ignoring the Pie-maker’s slight confused shudder and pulling up outside the morgue. The three stepped out of the car, Chuck adjusting her yellow headscarf as she went, their heads full of wonderings about the unusual foursome they’d left at The Pie Hole. Or so they thought.
~*~
“Eurgh!”
Emerson Cod, the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck recoiled in slight horror and shock when they first saw the body on the table. Chuck was the first to speak,
“How did it get so…?”
“Purple?” Emerson suggested. He cleared his throat and consulted his notes before continuing, “This here is Tobias Skywalker. A bird enthusiast, his ex-girlfriend found him lying dead in a birdbath,”
“Which of course makes her suspect number one,” Chuck said.
“Of course. His brother’s the one who hired us because he doesn’t believe the official report on the body, and he’s already told me a lot about Miss Maria Moore,” Emerson replied.
“Oooh! The jealous ex-girlfriend scenario!” Chuck said excitedly. Emerson nodded,
“Apparently the body started turning purple when it was taken away,”
“What’s the official report?” the Pie-maker asked.
“Death by lethal injection,” Emerson smiled, “So you might wanna be careful when you go waking it up,”
“This day just keeps getting better and better,” the Pie-maker muttered, pushing up his sleeves and leaning closer to the corpse.
“Alrighty then! What’s going on here?” Ned sprang back from Tobias’s body almost guiltily as the Doctor exploded his way into the room, rubbing his hands together energetically. Jack and Martha followed him, with identical grins and interest sparkling in their eyes.
“Doctor! What are you doing here?” Chuck asked happily, with a grin as wide as the Doctor’s.
“Hi again, Ned,” the Captain winked at the Pie man. Emerson, meanwhile, was checking his watch and growing angrier by the second.
“There was a murder, and murders are what I do best. Didn’t I tell you about me and Agatha Christie?” the Doctor flashed a dazzling grin at the investigators, oblivious to the tension that was slowly building up in the room, “Although, I’m not saying that me murdering people is what I do best, I’m not that kind of man at all…”
“How did he die?” Martha asked, deftly pulling a small medical torch out of her jacket pocket, and beginning to inspect the body.
“Lethal injection,” Chuck answered, smiling slightly at her. Jack and the Doctor joined Martha at the side of the table, one man on either side of the medical student, so that the trio were facing Ned, Emerson and Chuck respectively.
“Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?” Martha asked.
“I’m not sure. It looks familiar, but I can’t be certain just yet,” the Doctor replied, picking up a foot and examining it, “I’m sure I’ve seen this exact shade of purple somewhere before…”
The Doctor and Martha got stuck right in with the medical examinations. The former had pulled out his specs again and was muttering with the medical student as they checked eyes, teeth, veins and skin. Chuck looked intrigued, so leant in to give a hand where needed. The Pie-maker was trying hard not to be jealous of Chuck’s interest in the strange Doctor, while also attempting to avoid locking gazes with the Captain, who was desperately trying to get the Pie-maker’s attention. As things took a weird and unusual turn, the Pie-maker began to stress-bake in his head, and Emerson began to stress-knit in his. The situation that had been quite happily contained up until a few short moments ago was now spinning wildly out of Emerson’s control.
“How did you get here, anyway?” Emerson snapped suddenly.
“Well, Ned left his car keys…” the Doctor began innocently, noticing how the Pie-maker began to squirm under the private investigator’s accusing look.
“The cute blonde led us here,” Jack explained.
“You left… your car keys…?” Emerson breathed angrily, glaring at the Pie-maker. The Pie-maker backed away from the seething investigator, right into Captain Harkness’s welcoming arms.
“Agh!” the Pie-maker let out a little squeak of terror, tripped over his own feet and fell…. onto Tobias’ body on the table. As soon as his hands connected with the purple flesh, a flash of gold light spread through the body. Dreading what would happen next; Ned immediately touched the body again, before it even had a chance to move.
“Well, that was odd,” the Doctor commented, his hands still exploring the dead body, “Thought there was a flash of body heat there, but no, I must have been imagining it,”
The Pie-maker looked at Chuck. Chuck looked at the Pie-maker. They both wore identical expressions of shock and slight fear. Emerson was livid, realising now that there was no way the murder would be solved quickly, and that he wouldn’t be able to continue his knitting any time soon. Stress-knitting was no longer helping; his anger needed a target.
“So, what do you guys normally do?” the Doctor asked randomly, looking up at Emerson and smiling manically.
“Don’t you go smiling at me!” Emerson replied, avoiding the question, “You and your big hair just ruined my murder investigation!”
He pointed an accusatory finger at the Doctor, who adopted an innocent and confused expression, which Chuck decided was completely adorable.
“Me? I was helping!” he protested.
“No, you weren’t. If I’d needed your help I would have asked for it!” Emerson growled.
“Wait, you said he died from a lethal injection, right?” Martha asked the investigator, looking up from Tobias’ body for the first time, defusing a highly charged situation before it had a chance to explode.
“Yes…” Emerson replied, distracted and slightly placated for a moment.
“Then why isn’t there a bruise?” Martha mused, “There is no indication anywhere that he was injected with anything,”
“Really?” the Doctor asked, giving the body another glance, “You’re right! How did I miss that?” Emerson rolled his eyes in the Doctor’s general direction.
“So that means that he wasn’t killed by a lethal injection...” Chuck mused to the Pie-maker.
“Then what did he die of?” the Pie-maker mused back.
“It also means that our friend here was murdered using a method rarely seen on this planet,” the Doctor added.
“How’d you come to that conclusion?” Emerson asked suspiciously. Jack frowned, knowing that the Doctor was about to tell their new found ‘friends’ their secret. He could only imagine Emerson’s reaction, and he didn’t think he’d like it.
“Well,” the Doctor began, preparing to launch into an explanation full of jargon, alien terminology and a slight dash of technobabble, “We have three possibilities,”
He paused, waiting for everyone to pay attention. This, he knew, was going to be important. Emerson seemed a bit miffed, feeling that he was about to be outperformed by the Doctor, but the others were regarding the be-suited one with varying degrees of interest.
“One, venom from the highly dangerous and deadly Caernopholocchi Cobra. However, this is highly unlikely as they are native to the Roscor System. Possibility number B is just as unlikely - a sting from a Seku-Seku bird. But there’s no way a flock of Seku-Sekus could survive the flight from the Marogun galaxy to Earth, so that’s out the window. And lastly,” he paused, realising that he probably should stop and breathe at some point, “Lastly, it could be an extremely clever lead based paint that doesn’t look like paint and kills on contact with human flesh,”
A short silence followed the Doctor’s explanation. The Captain and the medical student were digesting the Doctor’s latest spool of information, while the private investigator, the Pie-maker and the girl named Chuck were internally debating how to react to this strange outburst. Emerson’s brain was the first to reach a conclusion: he laughed.
“What do you think I am, stupid?” he chortled, then began to attempt to take control of the situation again, “Right. Let’s split up. Chuck, you and Pie man over there can go and speak to Maria Moore, and I’ll go pump Skywalker’s brother for information,”
“What can we do?” the Doctor asked, smiling widely and looking helpful.
“You can get the hell outta here!” Emerson snapped.
“Hey, we’re just trying to help,” Jack said calmly.
“Besides, with more people to help, we’ll be able to split up and get more done,” Chuck put in.
“This means you’ll be able to count your money quicker,” the Pie-maker muttered in Emerson’s ear, knowing that this statement would have the desired effect.
“Well, I’m going to go back to the scene of the crime. There might be more evidence as to how he died there,” Martha said, earning a smile from the usually grumpy investigator.
“I like the way you think, Miss Jones,” Emerson said, thinking the situation over again before concluding, “Right. Ned - you’re on information duty. Question suspects. I’ll give you a copy of the list of most likely people,”
“Ooh! Take pie!” Chuck suggested, “You’re supposed to take food when people die, remember?”
The Pie-maker nodded, and was about to ask Emerson if Chuck could go with him, so they could spend at least some of the day together, when Jack interjected with,
“I’ll go with him. I’m good at getting people to do what I want,” he winked at the Pie-maker, who sighed and grudgingly decided to resign himself to the fact that the flirtatious Captain was not going to leave him alone.
“I’m going to take a blood sample from the body,” the Doctor decided.
“I’ll help!” Chuck smiled. The Doctor grinned back at her.
“Great, I’ll need a hand,” he said happily.
“Alright,” Emerson agreed, “Me and Miss Jones will investigate the crime scene,”
“Scope out some clues!” Martha grinned.
“What about Donna and Olive?” the Captain enquired, reminding the others of the two slightly more squeamish women they’d left outside.
“Yeah, Olive will want to help,” Chuck said to Emerson.
“No, I need someone to look after The Pie Hole while we’re gone, and seeing as you’re going to help the Doctor, Olive will have to man the shop for us,” the Pie-maker replied to the girl he loved. She smiled back at him, glad that he was going to put his jealous tendencies aside and let her go off with a strange and strangely attractive man.
“And I want Donna to look at the kind of paint you sell around here,” the Doctor mused, staring off into space, “I’ve got a suspicious feeling that I could be right about that...”
Luckily, as all he could see were the scenarios in his head emblazoned on the morgue wall, the Doctor didn’t see the weird looks the Pie-maker, the private investigator, the Captain, Martha, and even Chuck were giving him.
__________________________
End of chapter five.