(no subject)
Why can't I just let go? I talked to him again. It was a really long and painful conversation. He said he never wanted to break up. What the hell is that supposed to mean? How can you say that and still want to be apart? He says he dreams of me, he says he hates it because sometimes when he awakes he really believes that we're still together. The thing is that he is leaving; he's not going to be reminded of me. Everywhere I go, I am reminded. I get lost when I go into the Pickle Barrell because I never know what to get. I never really knew how to spend my meal plans so I'd go and buy him some slim jims, pickles, and sweet and salty chex mix. Now I just go in there and wander around until I finally decide to just leave. Whenever it rains, I think of that perfect day we had when classes were cancelled because of the hurricane. Everytime I leave my computer on, the slide show will start. There are so many pictures of him. As I walk through sweetheart circle I just want to breakdown. I don't know why I'm so attached. I'm not sure of anything. I just hate myself for it.