A misfortune cookie!
"It is just like a fortune cookie, only it is filled with hate, and bile. ...And sugar. ...And evil!"
So my kids, evil little enablers that they are, make me watch cartoons. And while I am very, very sick of Spongebob Squarepants (it was funny for a while, but those days are long gone), and the Fairly Oddparents, I really really like (for now) The Penguins of Madagascar (see quote above). So, in order to share my affliction, here are some (other) good quotes which I think I need on t-shirts:
It is time to celebrate the many moods of me. First up, festive me.
I can't set foot on Denmark. ...It's private, between me and the Danes.
I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.
Kowalski: These readings are off the charts!
The Skipper: Well, get bigger charts then. Take it out of petty cash.
I must be dreaming! The most horrible dream inside my head! Quick, pinch me! Now bite me! Now slap my face and spank my right buttock!
Not in the face! Please spare my moneymaker!
Skipper: Well, that's five minutes of our lives we're not getting back.
Kowalski: Until I get my time machine fully functioning.
Skipper: Pop quiz, men! What can't we trust?
Kowalski: Three-day-old mung beans.
Skipper: Besides that.
Private: Badgers!
Skipper: What?
Private: Maybe it's just me.
This next game was invented by double-jointed Hungarian acrobats from the Munich circus.
You know, in Tasmania, cheating at Stomp The Wombat is a capital offense.
It's too horrible for words. Except these ones, the words I'm saying right now. These are fine. But anything else, no go!
Skipper: We race at 12 o'clock!
King Julien: Make it... midnight! Wait. Maurice, at what time is my manicure?
Kowalski: [Looking at a zoo directory] According to this symbol, which appears to be Aztec in origin, you are here.
Skipper: Tell me something I don't know.
Kowalski: Without muccus, your stomach would digest itself.
Skipper: Tell me something else I don't know. Something less... disturbing, maybe.
We can do this the easy way, or we can do this Rico's way.
This is just a routine visit to the doctor. Turn and cough, boys. Turn and cough.
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: We'll need a distraction. I suggest releasing the spider monkeys. Bedlam is their middle name.
Skipper: They never disappoint.
Kowalski: In the ensuing chaos, we slip through the south entrance.
Skipper: Outstanding!
Kowalski: Once outside, we rent ourselves out as festive holiday ornaments. When we have enough money, we establish a new base, with laser beams.
Private: Yay, laser beams!
So my kids, evil little enablers that they are, make me watch cartoons. And while I am very, very sick of Spongebob Squarepants (it was funny for a while, but those days are long gone), and the Fairly Oddparents, I really really like (for now) The Penguins of Madagascar (see quote above). So, in order to share my affliction, here are some (other) good quotes which I think I need on t-shirts:
It is time to celebrate the many moods of me. First up, festive me.
I can't set foot on Denmark. ...It's private, between me and the Danes.
I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.
Kowalski: These readings are off the charts!
The Skipper: Well, get bigger charts then. Take it out of petty cash.
I must be dreaming! The most horrible dream inside my head! Quick, pinch me! Now bite me! Now slap my face and spank my right buttock!
Not in the face! Please spare my moneymaker!
Skipper: Well, that's five minutes of our lives we're not getting back.
Kowalski: Until I get my time machine fully functioning.
Skipper: Pop quiz, men! What can't we trust?
Kowalski: Three-day-old mung beans.
Skipper: Besides that.
Private: Badgers!
Skipper: What?
Private: Maybe it's just me.
This next game was invented by double-jointed Hungarian acrobats from the Munich circus.
You know, in Tasmania, cheating at Stomp The Wombat is a capital offense.
It's too horrible for words. Except these ones, the words I'm saying right now. These are fine. But anything else, no go!
Skipper: We race at 12 o'clock!
King Julien: Make it... midnight! Wait. Maurice, at what time is my manicure?
Kowalski: [Looking at a zoo directory] According to this symbol, which appears to be Aztec in origin, you are here.
Skipper: Tell me something I don't know.
Kowalski: Without muccus, your stomach would digest itself.
Skipper: Tell me something else I don't know. Something less... disturbing, maybe.
We can do this the easy way, or we can do this Rico's way.
This is just a routine visit to the doctor. Turn and cough, boys. Turn and cough.
Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: We'll need a distraction. I suggest releasing the spider monkeys. Bedlam is their middle name.
Skipper: They never disappoint.
Kowalski: In the ensuing chaos, we slip through the south entrance.
Skipper: Outstanding!
Kowalski: Once outside, we rent ourselves out as festive holiday ornaments. When we have enough money, we establish a new base, with laser beams.
Private: Yay, laser beams!