Nice Girls
This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place, this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be "just a friend". This is for the girls who have endured missing party after party because he couldn't pay attention to both you and his friends, finally having realized that it wasnt that he didnt want a relationship; it was that he didn’t want you. I honor you for the night he got arrested or he got fired or he got into a huge battle with his dad or his friends fucked him over and you held him. Thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way perhaps he'd realize what it was that he really had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to get to sleep. This is for the lack of sleep you got because you stayed up worrying all night, and for missing classes because you were too concerned about him to sit through history.
This is for the " I really like you, so let's still be friends " comment after you read more into a situation then he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've recieved from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are “beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy”; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for waking up the next day and having to put that teddy bear in a box, along with the jewelry and other mementos of your relationship. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing. though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more; for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thown to them by guys.
This is what I dont understand - Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else then where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging… Yet, men- I ask you were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrilling, compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet, and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call .. and if you were to recieve a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediatly call your friends and tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in watching you play basketball with your friends, or your history of world civ grade, or that arguement you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for the nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise; sometimes when that girl in the low cut skirt or the too tight mini skirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing . . we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing. " This isnt me. Tomorrow morning I'll be wearing a teeshirt and sweatpants, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast, See through the disguise, See me" …You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl. . so dont say you're looking for a relationship - relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty, and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe “nice guys finish last”, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets .. the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug, hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting, however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat.
This is for the " I really like you, so let's still be friends " comment after you read more into a situation then he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've recieved from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are “beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy”; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for waking up the next day and having to put that teddy bear in a box, along with the jewelry and other mementos of your relationship. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing. though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more; for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thown to them by guys.
This is what I dont understand - Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else then where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging… Yet, men- I ask you were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrilling, compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet, and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call .. and if you were to recieve a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediatly call your friends and tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in watching you play basketball with your friends, or your history of world civ grade, or that arguement you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.
So don't say you're on the lookout for the nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise; sometimes when that girl in the low cut skirt or the too tight mini skirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing . . we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing. " This isnt me. Tomorrow morning I'll be wearing a teeshirt and sweatpants, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast, See through the disguise, See me" …You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl. . so dont say you're looking for a relationship - relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty, and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe “nice guys finish last”, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets .. the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug, hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.
So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting, however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat.