(no subject)
A friend from my past quietly reminded me today in response to my last post that despite what name I have given my religion, I have always been at truest to me self, a walker of the shadow paths. And even though I call my Great Spirit the name of a monotheistic Godde, we are still inexplicably linked by the shared experience of walking the shadow path together for a time, and in those thoughts a wave healing came silently through golden memory. The reminding of life's twists and turns and sidetracked paths on the great path of life. He is a soul friend. He is a laughing shaman, my hippie friend with the best of lessons.
I've been silent today. Realizing the need to listen.
My anam chara had taught me not too long ago, that when you have troubling HEARING Godde's voice for one reason or another, he still gets to you, although often through the mouths of strangers repeating the exact same words to you.
I remember about a year ago when my inquiry into a church group was met with the response, "maybe you don't need to be in a volunteering role right now because you need to be in a listening one. A learning cycle." I never got any calls back from the preacher regarding the council I requested, and I remember how upset I was at the silent response.
The same lesson came through yesterday when I brought the issue of my need for religious community to counciler yet the struggle with finding as place of love, to which she had a similar response. "After getting hurt by the mentality of one kind of group, perhaps now is the time not to focus on trying to find a church group on campus right now.....but to just listen to Godde on your own," and when your'e ready.......
Okay, Godde. I get it now. I think, this time, I just really do.
I've been debating on the verge again.
I have found that I miss the conversation with Godde via the symbols of Oracles.....something I used to be good at long ago, before a seed was planted in my head that all divination was evil. How could a tool that provides conversation with the great divine and inner tuition be evil? Even my anam chara has thrust herself headlong into a fierce study of tarot, and with it, their history and just how much of the symbolism so often demonized actually comes from the history of the church. There's much hidden in history. This time, I plan to learn the art of reading my morning coffee. It seems fitting for someone attracted to a little kitchen witchery here and there. Making the everyday divine.
The shadow path/path of a wise woman is a path one walks alone. It is a path between worlds, for the purp[ose of healing. It's funny how much I hated the lonliness growing up, but she always follows, like a faithful companion. Through the moves of the life of a military brat, to always sticking out like a sore thumb at school, bullies and nonsense, I always found it easier to escape into my own company, and I learned, begrudgingly, to except that. What's strange, is that even years after my father's retirement, and settling down in the midwest, now my sould gets antsy to move and uproot every few years. The military made a nomad heart out of me. And with nomadic hearts comes the road, and leaving people behind. Yet, my heart is longing, as it did when I was a little girl, for that physical friend, and what I kept finding was something deeper.
It's beautiful outside today. The grass and clover has the beautiful lush tropical quality about it from all the April rain, and the sun shines relaxingly over the sky. No humdity to drag us down with weariness yet, but a coold breeze. It puts the world in a better mood.
I've been silent today. Realizing the need to listen.
My anam chara had taught me not too long ago, that when you have troubling HEARING Godde's voice for one reason or another, he still gets to you, although often through the mouths of strangers repeating the exact same words to you.
I remember about a year ago when my inquiry into a church group was met with the response, "maybe you don't need to be in a volunteering role right now because you need to be in a listening one. A learning cycle." I never got any calls back from the preacher regarding the council I requested, and I remember how upset I was at the silent response.
The same lesson came through yesterday when I brought the issue of my need for religious community to counciler yet the struggle with finding as place of love, to which she had a similar response. "After getting hurt by the mentality of one kind of group, perhaps now is the time not to focus on trying to find a church group on campus right now.....but to just listen to Godde on your own," and when your'e ready.......
Okay, Godde. I get it now. I think, this time, I just really do.
I've been debating on the verge again.
I have found that I miss the conversation with Godde via the symbols of Oracles.....something I used to be good at long ago, before a seed was planted in my head that all divination was evil. How could a tool that provides conversation with the great divine and inner tuition be evil? Even my anam chara has thrust herself headlong into a fierce study of tarot, and with it, their history and just how much of the symbolism so often demonized actually comes from the history of the church. There's much hidden in history. This time, I plan to learn the art of reading my morning coffee. It seems fitting for someone attracted to a little kitchen witchery here and there. Making the everyday divine.
The shadow path/path of a wise woman is a path one walks alone. It is a path between worlds, for the purp[ose of healing. It's funny how much I hated the lonliness growing up, but she always follows, like a faithful companion. Through the moves of the life of a military brat, to always sticking out like a sore thumb at school, bullies and nonsense, I always found it easier to escape into my own company, and I learned, begrudgingly, to except that. What's strange, is that even years after my father's retirement, and settling down in the midwest, now my sould gets antsy to move and uproot every few years. The military made a nomad heart out of me. And with nomadic hearts comes the road, and leaving people behind. Yet, my heart is longing, as it did when I was a little girl, for that physical friend, and what I kept finding was something deeper.
It's beautiful outside today. The grass and clover has the beautiful lush tropical quality about it from all the April rain, and the sun shines relaxingly over the sky. No humdity to drag us down with weariness yet, but a coold breeze. It puts the world in a better mood.