(no subject)

[apple_jacks_xp]

i really wish i would have said something, anything..it wasnt that i didnt know where to start, it was more that i was afraid that you would say the same thing you did last time. you're always right about me, and make me realize how bad of a person i am..i like that but it scares my so much at the same time. I didnt want you to not want me, because i always have the feeling you do which i know is extreamly stuck up of me. but.. well i keep getting the feeling more and more that you would say no if i ever did try.
I've known for so long what i really want, and i never go for it. I go through phases where i say, yeah i'm really going to try this time and i never do. But I know if he reads this he'll understand what i mean when i say...K and i really mean that and i guess thats where i should have started