[fanfic] I’ll Promise You an Eternal Happiness
Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound
It’s been a year since she died. Since then, I made a barrier in my heart. Not letting anyone to get in. I know it’s my fault that causing her dead. If I lost on that wild race, of course she won’t die. It’s my fault that she’s been chased by my enemy and been murdered by them. Eventhough that everyone said that’s not my fault, but I know deep inside they blame me. But anyway, life must go on and that’s what I do. Continuing my life because I know she wants it. I’m getting out from night life and wild race. I work at my friend’s workshop. The payment’s not as much as when I raced at night, but enough to buy some food and rent a room. Someday, on one very rare afternoon, as always, I repair the motorcycle that comes to our workshop. Then there’s an old man approach me.
“Hai! Are you working here?” This guy asks me.
“Yes. Are you here to repair your car, sir?” I ask after I see there’s an expensive car outside the workshop.
“Yes. Please change my oil and do some spooring and balancing”.
“Okay, right away, sir!” And after that I do what that old guy wants. After a while, he starts some conversation again.
“What’s your name kid?” He asks me.
“Everybody calls me Kangin” I answer him.
“Yeah, I know that. But what I ask you is what your name is. Not what everybody call you. Geez...kids these days….” He grumbles himself. After I heard that, I immediately turn my head and see the old guy.
“Yo old man! How about tell your names first. And how you know that everybody call me Kangin?”
“My name is Lee Soo Man. Is it matter how I know that? So, I already told my name, it’s your turn your name.” That old man seems like a kind grandfather type, but something in his eyes make me think that he’s not an ordinary old man. I’m back to my work again.
“My name is Kim Youngwoon”. Then the silence comes between us. I assume that he’s thinking about something. Not so long after that, he starts to talk again.
“So, Kim Youngwoon, do you want to join my team?” He asks.
“What team? If you mean some kind of mafia group, I’m sorry but I’ll have to pass.”
“Hahaha….Do I look like some kind of mafia leader? Hahaha. I’m not offering you to join a mafia group. What I offer you is, do you want to join my race team? I know you have the potential to be a winner. And you know the payment is good too. Hohoho…” The old man laugh by himself.
I never thought that some kind of offer will get out of his mouth. I think for a while and I answer him.
“Okay then, I’ll join your team!”
“That’s a good choice, kid!” Then he smiles to me.
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out
Another year has been passed. The grand prix season already ended and I’m in the second place of the world championship. I feel not satisfied about what I accomplished but the old man said that it’s a good grade for me since it’s my first year. He said that not even Michael Doohan and Valentino Rossi got second place on their first year. After I hear that, I feel a bit happy. Now I’m on the circuit to do some try out to our new machine. I do a couple of laps and tell if there’s anything lacking on the new machine so the mechanics can do some fixation to the machine. After the practice is over, Lee Soo Man gathering everybody and invites us to his home to celebrate the arrive of his daughter.
The party is held on 8pm. I finally decide to come because that old guy is so kind to me over this year. When I arrive on his house, there already many people come to party. Sure thing the old man does everything to his daughter if you see how big and luxury this event. About 9pm, the old man gathering everyone to the main hall.
“Everybody, may I have your attention please? Thank you. As you know, I held this party because my beloved daughter has arrived from America. She study medical on America and now she already finish her study. Hehehe…I know I sound arrogant because I want to show to all of you how proud I am to my daughter. Hahaha… Okay, enough talking from this old man! And now, may I present to all of you my beloved daughter, Lee Jungsu!” He waves his hand to upstairs.
After he said that, a woman comes down from upstairs. She must be the most beautiful creature that I ever see in this world. She dressed in long white gown that only cover from her breast until her toes. She knots her hair and so her long neck exposes. She wears a sapphire blue necklace and earrings. I think she looks like an angel that comes down to earth. She goes down the stairs elegantly. After she reaches the last stair, her father approaches her and she takes her father hand.
“Thank you so much for coming tonight. I already told my father that he doesn’t have to held a party for me. But, what can I say; sometimes he can be such a stonehead!” After hearing that, everybody laugh together including me. Yeah, I know that old man can be such a stonehead sometimes.
Then Lee Soo Man speaks again, “Before everybody enjoy the food, let’s cheers for my daughter. Oh, and for Kangin too. Because he already gives the best for our team. Cheers!” Everybody lift up their wine glasses and toast together.
After the toast, everybody start to eat the food that been deserved that night. When I want to turn around to grab some food, the old man calls my name. After I hear that, I approach him and her daughter.
“Ah, Youngwoon come here. Now I will introduced you to my second special woman in my life. Jungsu, meet Kim Youngwoon. He is our best rider.” Lee Soo Man introduces me to her daughter. She drags out her hand. I take it and I shake it. As I take her hand, I realize how soft her hand. Just like a silk. I remember her hand was soft too, just like Jungsu’s hand. I shake my head as I try to omit the memory inside my head.
“Hallo, Kim Youngwoon. Nice to meet you!”
“Nice to meet you too, Lee Jungsu”
“Okay, you finally meet each other. Now, I excuse myself because there are another people that need my attention. Youngwoon, please take care of my daughter for a while. And please, enjoy the party!”
“Appa! What are you trying to do?” She looks startled.
“Sweetheart, there are other things I have to do and another people I have to meet. Don’t worry, Youngwoon is a nice guy!” And the old man leaves us. Damn that old man! What he tries to do?!
“Huff!” She sighs.
“Looks like you have to stuck with me tonight, Jungsu!” I start a conversation.
“Yeah...seems like that’s the case, Youngwoon. Oh, by the way, please call me Leeteuk. Jungsu is too formal. Hehehe….”
“Okay, Leeteuk. So, you should call me Kangin too. Only your father that calls me Youngwoon!” I say to her.
“Okay then, Kangin!” And she smiles. Her smile is just like her. Just like an angel.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
That party just the beginning for us. I don’t know what makes me approach her. Maybe because she just looks like her. In Leeteuk, I can find my grip again. It’s already 3 months and now we’re officially a couple. Everything goes smoothly between us. The memory of her slowly disappears from my mind. The hurt feeling slowly fades away. All of that happens because Leeteuk. I already told her about Younha. And she understands everything and accepts me the way I am. I’m so grateful that I found her.
But behind that, seems like I can’t fully accept Leeteuk in my heart. I know that the barrier in my heart still there. I don’t know if Leeteuk knows it. And I feel guilty because of that. She always gives her best to me and yet I don’t give her my best. I never told her about that until one day, I made a mistake and she finds out what really happen on me.
She comes to one of my practice at early of the year. The grand prix will start at the beginning of March, which is two months away.
“Kangin-ah, how’s the practice?” She asks me when I get some rest time.
“So far so good. How’s your day? How’s clinic?” She works in a clinic near her house. That owner of that clinic is one of Lee Soo Man’s friends.
“It’s quite desolated now. And because of that, I can go here.”
“Hahaha…I’m glad that they give you some time off. Don’t work too hard, Teukie!” I said to her, cause I know she always works too hard. She always takes good care of her patients, beyond her limit sometimes.
She smiles “I know, I know, Kangin”. I love when she smiles. We hold each other hand and after that, some mechanic call for me. It’s the sign that I must get back to practice. Before I get back to practice, we promise to have a dinner in my apartment at 8pm.
At 8 o’clock, Leeteuk comes and we soon start to cook. She does the cooking while I prepare the table. We eat the dinner and we talk as always. The laughter always comes between us. And I always love to hear her special laughter.
“Hahaha…you know, there’s this patient that always points out her forefinger and her face looks like Tweety. Some nurses jokes about her. They tell that if she leads an orchestra, to determine the notes, you just have to see her forefinger. If she already not in the room, it means that the note is already high.”
And we laugh together as I hear her special laugh. Then silence comes between us. We stare at each other. I see some light in her eyes. The light that tender my heart, just like the one in Younha’s eyes.
“I love you, Youngwoon!” She said. I smile to her and I answer it.
“I love you too, Younha!”
After I said that, the light in her eyes gone. As she stands up, she says “I’m not Younha, Kangin.” She says that with cold tone. She stands up and clears up the table. After she finishes clear the table, she takes her bag and walks to the door. I follow her and the entire time I shut my mouth because I know if I said something, it will hurt her. When we already reach the door, I grab her hand.
“I’m sorry, Teukie!” I said to her and see some sort of hurt in her eyes.
“It's okay, Kangin. I guess I can’t replace her right?! Please, let go of my arm. It’s already too late and Appa must be worried about me.”
I let go of her arm and she walks away from my apartment.
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light
I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again
Since that day, I never meet her again or even call her. Leeteuk is not calling me too. I know I need to prepare myself before I meet her again. It’s already a month passed and still she doesn’t call me and neither do I. That old guy seems to know what happen between me and his daughter, but I think he doesn’t know the reason behind it. He thinks that it’s just a small fighting between young couple.
One day, that old guy approaches me again on a practice session and talks to me.
“Youngwoon, I know I’m supposed not tell you this because Jungsu forbid me to do it. But I can’t stand it anymore. Youngwoon, please solve your problem and forbid her to go to Spain. And do it now! Because she’s leaving tomorrow!” The old guy said to me.
“I…I…I…cannot do that. If that’s what she wants, then I cannot forbid her. I’m sorry, Sir!” And I leave the pit and the circuit as soon as I can.
I get back to my apartment. As soon as I arrive, I sit on the terrace and see the sky above. All the memories of Younha floods on my mind. I remember how we met, how she talked, how she walked, how she laughed and how she smiled. I remember our togetherness and I cry. Since her death, I never cry even on her grave. Now, I cry hard. I let out all my sadness. And slowly, my barrier is crushed.
The next morning, I wake up and there are 2 messages on my mobile phone. I open the first one. And it comes from Leeteuk.
Kangin-ah…it’s already a month that we don’t contact each other. I think, and I know you needed too, that we need time to alone. For 1 month I always thinking of you and evaluate myself. Maybe I’m asking too much from you. I know you can’t forget about Younha. I’m not asking you to replace her from your heart with me. I always thought that I can get another place in your heart, even it’s a small part. But I guess…I even don’t know what I guess. Anyway, maybe it’s time for us to go in separate ways. I will always remember you. You will always be a sweet memory to me. I love you, Youngwoon.
After I read that messages, I’m freeze for a while. And I open the second message. Turns out it comes from the old man. He write Leeteuk’s flight schedule. Without any concern, I change my clothes and go down to the parking lot where my bike is. I’m in hurry because Leeteuk’s flight is on an hour. I can’t waste any minute.
I arrive 45 minutes later. I run into the airport and I see Leeteuk and her father (Thanks God, I’m in right gate!). She just about to check in.
“LEETEUK!” I’m calling out her name and I run to her.
“Kangin? What are you doing here?” She asks me and looks to her father. Her father turns his head.
“Hmm…Jungsu, I want to buy some water. Don’t even try to leave without me!” And he goes as soon as possible.
“Leeteuk, we must talk!” As I start our talk.
“I cannot do that, Kangin-ah. My flight is on 15 minutes again. We can do it on the phone!” She tries to avoid me.
“No! It must be now! Listen to me, Jungsu!” I grab her hand and start to talk. “I know I’m wrong when I don’t give you a chance to get in my heart. But now it’s all over. The one thing I know now is I can’t live without you! So please, please stay with me! I love you, Lee Jungsu! I love you with all my heart!”
I see a tear on her corner eyes. “But what about Younha?” She asks.
“Younha is always in my mind and it can’t be replaced but now you own my heart. All of it. Please, stay with me! I will always love you, Teukie!” The words come from the bottom of my heart.
She stares on me for a while and without any words, she jumps and hugs me tightly.
“I will always love you too, Youngwoon!”
And I kiss her lips to seal our promises. It’s the beginning of our life. It’s not my life alone. But together with Leeteuk.
From the distance, Lee Soo Man stares with smile at the young couple in love. “Oh my, why young kids always trouble themselves?! If I didn’t help them, maybe I won’t have even a grandchild until I died! Ckckck…”
It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
“Appa…Appa…Appa...Catch me!” A 5 years old boy runs and throws himself to me. I catch him and carry him.
“Kyu…Where’s your Umma?” I ask that little boy in my arms.
“Umma is in the kitchen, Appa!” Little Kyuhyun answers me.
“Okay then, let’s get back inside the house!” I start to walk to the house and into the kitchen.
“Hmm…I smell some delicious food here.” As I get into the kitchen while I’m carrying Kyuhyun in my arms.
“Hahaha…I hope you don’t mind if we eat seafood now!” A beautiful woman answers me. I approach her, kiss her bunch neck and whisper to her right ear.
“I love you, Teukie!”
“I love you too, Kangin!” And I kiss her lips softly. Our kiss broke when someone hugs our neck.
“I love Umma and Appa too!” Kyuhyun hugs us and gives us a kiss each. We hug him back and give his cheeks a kiss too. Then we laugh together.
Now, I realized something. Maybe Leeteuk is the angel that God send to me. I see her halo around her head. Promising an eternal happiness to me. And I promise to keep her angel smile. I will love her and our child for eternity.
“Umma?”
“Yes, sweetheart?” Leeteuk answer our child.
Kyuhyun asks his Umma innocently, “Why Appa looks like a raccoon?”
FIN
a/n 2 : hohoho..it's the side story of I Want to Be Your Number 1. Hmm.. it's my first time to write Kangteuk. I'm sorry if it's fail. T_T. and it's d**n long...hahaha. The song in this story is Halo by Beyonce. When I hear her new album for the first time, I fall in love with this song. hehehe....
Hohoho...the final test already done about a week ago and i'm still didn't update IWtBYN1. It's because i'm still in the holiday mood! And i'm so happy to coming back home.
Please don't kill me! *running away!
*comments are really appreciated..mwah..mwahh..mwah..hahaha