big wind blows
It's quite difficult to be the same person all the time. When times change, when circumstances change, when the people around you change, it's more natural to act differently. I have goals, I have ambition, I have dreams. And I work towards them. But that's in the day.
Then night comes. What do I want in life? When I look in retrospect, is there anything that I will regret doing or not doing? What do I want to go through? Where do I want to end up?
I realize that I don't want success all the time. I want to experience failure. I want to experience desperation. I want to experience misery. I want to experience heartbreak. Just once, I want to fall so hard in life that I might not get back up. I want to experience rebirth. I want to know that I have the courage and the endurance and the capability to climb back up. I don't want my life to be smooth-sailing.
I want to have hardships. I want to have sufferings. I want to have the resilience to hold against all that life could throw at one person. I want to be able to look back, when the time comes, and tell myself that there's nothing I couldn't take. I want to go through everything a human being can go through. I'm sick of repeating the same story over and over. I want the courage to break up this cycle.
I want to be the same person, night and day. I want to be able to stand here, tomorrow morning, and say exactly the same things. But the night is long and dreams are weary.
God, please give me strength to do what I need to do and the grace to accept what I cannot do. Please be a guiding light in my times of darkness and a healer in my times of pain. Please stand with me in my joy and misery and be the silent protector you've always been. Please be a listener when I need to speak and a friend when I need comfort. Please do not ask for what I cannot give or give what I cannot have. Love me, as I do you.
Then night comes. What do I want in life? When I look in retrospect, is there anything that I will regret doing or not doing? What do I want to go through? Where do I want to end up?
I realize that I don't want success all the time. I want to experience failure. I want to experience desperation. I want to experience misery. I want to experience heartbreak. Just once, I want to fall so hard in life that I might not get back up. I want to experience rebirth. I want to know that I have the courage and the endurance and the capability to climb back up. I don't want my life to be smooth-sailing.
I want to have hardships. I want to have sufferings. I want to have the resilience to hold against all that life could throw at one person. I want to be able to look back, when the time comes, and tell myself that there's nothing I couldn't take. I want to go through everything a human being can go through. I'm sick of repeating the same story over and over. I want the courage to break up this cycle.
I want to be the same person, night and day. I want to be able to stand here, tomorrow morning, and say exactly the same things. But the night is long and dreams are weary.
God, please give me strength to do what I need to do and the grace to accept what I cannot do. Please be a guiding light in my times of darkness and a healer in my times of pain. Please stand with me in my joy and misery and be the silent protector you've always been. Please be a listener when I need to speak and a friend when I need comfort. Please do not ask for what I cannot give or give what I cannot have. Love me, as I do you.