Formerly out, now in, thanks to the good folks in Yreka

[apparentparadox]

After much thought & deliberation, we decided to get married in our home state. We drove to Yreka and had a delightful experience. Everyone at the County Clerk's office was very friendly and helpful, and went out of their way to make it a good experience for us. Due to a bit of confusion at the last minute, not everything was signed after the

Comments

[billeyler]

congratulations!

[apparentparadox]

Thanks but it feels like being congratulated for changing my will. I've considered us married for years (but maybe Mark felt differently???)

[billeyler]

If Danny and I do anything, I'm sure it'll feel somewhat anti-climatic and likely private (as yours was). We did a mound of paperwork in 2006 to assure some of the 'rights' of hospitalization and survivorship for legal purposes. Having lived together 12 years and sharing mortgages and joint credit cards, we're just missing the federal benefits. We certainly feel married.

TurboTax and the like will be even more interesting for so many of us to navigate next year!

[apparentparadox]

We've had to generate separate Fed forms and a pro-forma joint Fed form for years. Both CA and OR have registered domestic partners file essentially as married, so we each have our "I'm a single person" Fed form which we send to the Feds and a joint "we're a couple" Fed form which gets filed with our State forms.

[dr_scott]

That's how I felt -- no change, what's the big hue and cry? But it's really important to Paul so I am trying to get excited...

[apparentparadox]

Living in CA, you'll certainly see the Fed benefits immediately. It's not clear that we will since OR has a constitutional amendment against same-sex marriage, and it's not clear if the Feds will give benefits to people who live in a state where the state doesn't recognize the marriage. One of the strong arguments in the Windsor case was that NY explicitly wanted her marriage to be treated equal to others in the state, and so the Feds shouldn't treat it differently. Not clear about how they should treat a marriage that isn't recognized by the state where someone lives.

I do feel, however, that we've got a stronger argument if something happens while we're traveling (especially in a state that doesn't forbid same-sex marriages). It may be wishful thinking, but I believe that a hospital might refuse a "registered domestic partner" but have a harder time with a spouse.