(no subject)
in an attempt to be productive, and set a good example for all other women, meaning i should not do things i dont want to watch my friends do.... i have made a standard for a guy i will date... will date, not want to date, will, no exceptions
1. things are on my terms. im a fair person, so sir, you better get with the idea that if im willing to admit im wrong, youre going to have to give in on the things that i say you MUST give in on.
2. you better WANT to open doors for me, all the time, all of them, i should have to ask you to stop opening them. maybe except for the bathroom door....
3. along with number two, you must be a gentleman... to the point where if im out of line and you cant control yourself you better just walk away (this applies to yelling, sexual desires etc...)
4. im more loving than you probably, so dont get irritated when im irrational about certain things, just laugh, and love it
5. appreciate me for being a girl, a cry during sad commercials, eat nine different kinds of cheesecake, sappy movies with no plot loving, petite animal wanting girl... appreciate it when i cry for no reason, just love it, and laugh
6. please dont act like my brother, dont be annoying like him, and dont act like you are my brother for that matter
7. youre going to have to happily admit to people that we are dating, yes, youll have to admit youre dating me, i know, this is a lot to ask
8. please for the love of God do not pretend you know what youre talking about if you dont... as much as i loved that conversation where someone pretended they knew what glocalization was.... its not fun for me to have to sit down and say youre wrong, well it is, but its embarassing for you, and i dont want that
9. i dont like hugs all the time, and i dont like hanging out ALL the time, and i dont want you to want to be around me every second of the day. please, love cigars, football, baywatch, dirt, grass, bugs, beer, anything you want... just dont expect me to
10. do not however, exclude me from all things male... i like beer, i like bugs, i like grass, and hiking and running, please, im capable of keeping up, i might even kick your ass at it, yah... i said it
11. following number ten. it is best for you to remember that if im on my period, its up in the air as to whether or not i will want to hang out with you, see you, acknowledge your existence, play football, drink a beer... i will however possibly want to MAKE you listen to me whine, watch a sappy movie, and youre probably going to have to buy me some cheesecake, and ill be a grouch.... the whole time, expect nothing more, but if you act like im being a grouch, you gonna get it
12. oh my goodness if at some point i live with a male you better not leave hair in the shower (i think this one is for peyton)
13. i wont ask you to talk to me about things, i think its invasive. i will however, listen if you have something to say, offer advice WHICH YOU MAY NOT LIKE, or just make you a treat, accept the treat, chances are it wont make your problem go away, but if you say i dont want it, you will have a problem... okay not really, but if you find another girl to talk to more than me, i will more than likely be bothered, if you dont trust me enough to talk to me, youll probably be wanting to date that girl instead
14. your level of respect should never diminish, this includes the following
a. you must take me on a date, yes, youre going to have to do that
b. you must not yell at me, i can yell a little, because im not bigger than you, and not really that scary, but you my friend, are scary because youre a male, and lets face it, you could kick my ass and i dont want to hear you yell because i will cry
c. im going to need to meet your parents
d. if you dont like me enough to kiss me, then get out, i want nothing to do with you, we are not going to act like we are dating and then you just flake out at some point, nope, next
15. please for the love of God... do not say i love you for at least ... well a long time
16. im not going to call you a lot, get over this, im traditional
17. i like girl time, i like martinis, i like silly pink things, i like being without you, not only should you be okay with this, you should support this. if you arent at some point going to marry me and let me have a slumber party and actually do something nice like bring us some pink champagne or something ... well you arent the one then
18. figure out when to, and when NOT TO touch me
19. you will admit you are wrong at times, and when im wrong, if i dont admit it right away, then just say youre not being fair or something like that. like i said im pretty rational about things, and dont have a problem being wrong.
20. too many jokes = too many headaches for me, be serious, and treat me like you actually want me around, if you joke about hating me all the time, chances are in time, i will hate you
21. if you arent willing to join the peace corps and travel the world with me, two years out of a lifetime, or you arent willing to wait for me while i go, then your lack of ambition and love of the world are two things that will keep me from having any respect for you
22. do not constantly trash people while around me, please, appreciate people for who they are to the best of your ability, ill give you the same respect until it conflicts with any of these points above
1. things are on my terms. im a fair person, so sir, you better get with the idea that if im willing to admit im wrong, youre going to have to give in on the things that i say you MUST give in on.
2. you better WANT to open doors for me, all the time, all of them, i should have to ask you to stop opening them. maybe except for the bathroom door....
3. along with number two, you must be a gentleman... to the point where if im out of line and you cant control yourself you better just walk away (this applies to yelling, sexual desires etc...)
4. im more loving than you probably, so dont get irritated when im irrational about certain things, just laugh, and love it
5. appreciate me for being a girl, a cry during sad commercials, eat nine different kinds of cheesecake, sappy movies with no plot loving, petite animal wanting girl... appreciate it when i cry for no reason, just love it, and laugh
6. please dont act like my brother, dont be annoying like him, and dont act like you are my brother for that matter
7. youre going to have to happily admit to people that we are dating, yes, youll have to admit youre dating me, i know, this is a lot to ask
8. please for the love of God do not pretend you know what youre talking about if you dont... as much as i loved that conversation where someone pretended they knew what glocalization was.... its not fun for me to have to sit down and say youre wrong, well it is, but its embarassing for you, and i dont want that
9. i dont like hugs all the time, and i dont like hanging out ALL the time, and i dont want you to want to be around me every second of the day. please, love cigars, football, baywatch, dirt, grass, bugs, beer, anything you want... just dont expect me to
10. do not however, exclude me from all things male... i like beer, i like bugs, i like grass, and hiking and running, please, im capable of keeping up, i might even kick your ass at it, yah... i said it
11. following number ten. it is best for you to remember that if im on my period, its up in the air as to whether or not i will want to hang out with you, see you, acknowledge your existence, play football, drink a beer... i will however possibly want to MAKE you listen to me whine, watch a sappy movie, and youre probably going to have to buy me some cheesecake, and ill be a grouch.... the whole time, expect nothing more, but if you act like im being a grouch, you gonna get it
12. oh my goodness if at some point i live with a male you better not leave hair in the shower (i think this one is for peyton)
13. i wont ask you to talk to me about things, i think its invasive. i will however, listen if you have something to say, offer advice WHICH YOU MAY NOT LIKE, or just make you a treat, accept the treat, chances are it wont make your problem go away, but if you say i dont want it, you will have a problem... okay not really, but if you find another girl to talk to more than me, i will more than likely be bothered, if you dont trust me enough to talk to me, youll probably be wanting to date that girl instead
14. your level of respect should never diminish, this includes the following
a. you must take me on a date, yes, youre going to have to do that
b. you must not yell at me, i can yell a little, because im not bigger than you, and not really that scary, but you my friend, are scary because youre a male, and lets face it, you could kick my ass and i dont want to hear you yell because i will cry
c. im going to need to meet your parents
d. if you dont like me enough to kiss me, then get out, i want nothing to do with you, we are not going to act like we are dating and then you just flake out at some point, nope, next
15. please for the love of God... do not say i love you for at least ... well a long time
16. im not going to call you a lot, get over this, im traditional
17. i like girl time, i like martinis, i like silly pink things, i like being without you, not only should you be okay with this, you should support this. if you arent at some point going to marry me and let me have a slumber party and actually do something nice like bring us some pink champagne or something ... well you arent the one then
18. figure out when to, and when NOT TO touch me
19. you will admit you are wrong at times, and when im wrong, if i dont admit it right away, then just say youre not being fair or something like that. like i said im pretty rational about things, and dont have a problem being wrong.
20. too many jokes = too many headaches for me, be serious, and treat me like you actually want me around, if you joke about hating me all the time, chances are in time, i will hate you
21. if you arent willing to join the peace corps and travel the world with me, two years out of a lifetime, or you arent willing to wait for me while i go, then your lack of ambition and love of the world are two things that will keep me from having any respect for you
22. do not constantly trash people while around me, please, appreciate people for who they are to the best of your ability, ill give you the same respect until it conflicts with any of these points above