One Year--First Day
It was a year ago today that I last saw her, last talked to her, last held her. She'd let me know that she was going to take off for a few days to sort some things out. I had no idea that she was planning to go off and kill herself. I had no idea that I was saying goodbye to her for the last time. I'd said that I was afraid that she wasn't coming back. She just gave me an odd kind of smile and said, "We'll see." Then she gave me a hug and I left her room. It was sometime either that night or the next day that she left to the hotel where she stayed the last days that she was alive.
I'd had no idea.
I remembered it well tonight. It's not how I wanted things to go. I never wanted her dead. I just wanted both of our miseries to end. I'd thought it was something that could get worked out some other way, that we could go on with our plans to grow old together. I agree with the line from Lethal Weapon III: "You're supposed to grow old with someone, not because of them."
Two more days to go in this week to get through this first year.
I'd had no idea.
I remembered it well tonight. It's not how I wanted things to go. I never wanted her dead. I just wanted both of our miseries to end. I'd thought it was something that could get worked out some other way, that we could go on with our plans to grow old together. I agree with the line from Lethal Weapon III: "You're supposed to grow old with someone, not because of them."
Two more days to go in this week to get through this first year.