It Goes On And On
This has been an exhuasting week. Got a lot of stuff done, but Lord a'mightly it's taken its toll. The easiest was probably getting Ariel's car sold. I'd been stressing about doing it myself, getting it listed in the local paper/TV station want ads, getting it re-registered so it could be taken for a test drive (which'd also mean getting it inspected and insured again), having to field calls, set up times to see it, etc. Just thinking about it was wearing me out. When a co-worker asked if I'd thought about taking it to a dealership or used car lot I just blinked at her for a few seconds. Ever have one of those Homer Simpson "D'oh!!" moments? That was one. Long and short of it was that it got sold in two days. I didn't get as much as I'd hoped for it, but having it done that quick was a real blessing. It was hard seeing it being driven away, though...
The detective let me know that he'd gotten the M.E.'s final report and the case was closed. I then got to pick up the last of the effects they'd had from when they found her body in the hotel room. Some of it was stuff she'd taken along with her, ways to kill herself. Some of those they wouldn't release, drugs they'd taken and some chemicals. There were also a couple books from Amazon on suicide and notes she'd printed off the Internet detailing the three ways she had planned out & prepped. That was hard to see. I was glad she didn't go for the poison gas one, though. When I got to meet with the detective on Friday, he expressed the same sentiment. They've evidently had first responders die from people using that method and the responders having no idea there was highly toxic gas there. From looking it up on the 'Net, in high enough concentrations one breath is fatal. Jesus Christ.... I also got the last of my questions answered by him. I want to find out who the local chief of police is and send in a letter just letting him know how cool this guy's been in how he's handled this whole thing. I'm betting he doesn't get a whole lot of thanks or appreciation working in homicide, and in my opinion, he definitely deserves it.
And then we got most of the rest of her stuff looked through & sorted. Some's just thrown away, and a lot of the rest is set aside. A couple friends said they'd run a garage sale for me to see what they can get for it. I'm good with that. Whatever's left will get inventoried and donated to the local equivalent of the Salvation Army. I'll be glad to have that part over with. I really don't need all the reminders around, and the lingering, nagging thoughts that I need to deal with her stuff still. It's bad enough having to deal with her death. This unholy fucking mess she left me with just adds to it exponentially. Especailly with having to look at getting ready to try to sell the house and/or move out in the next several months.
Losing my wife to suicide and losing my home in the same year. Whee.
It's getting done. Under other circumstances, like if I could afford to keep the house, I'd have taken a lot more time for getting this done. It's by far and bar none the most exhausting thing I've ever had to deal with. I know I'll be glad when it's all done and over with. I'll still have to file a tax return for her next year given that she worked in the month of January. Hopefully everything else will be done by then and that'll be the last that I'll have to do to finish up what she left behind.
Then it'll just be figuring out how to rebuild a life.
The detective let me know that he'd gotten the M.E.'s final report and the case was closed. I then got to pick up the last of the effects they'd had from when they found her body in the hotel room. Some of it was stuff she'd taken along with her, ways to kill herself. Some of those they wouldn't release, drugs they'd taken and some chemicals. There were also a couple books from Amazon on suicide and notes she'd printed off the Internet detailing the three ways she had planned out & prepped. That was hard to see. I was glad she didn't go for the poison gas one, though. When I got to meet with the detective on Friday, he expressed the same sentiment. They've evidently had first responders die from people using that method and the responders having no idea there was highly toxic gas there. From looking it up on the 'Net, in high enough concentrations one breath is fatal. Jesus Christ.... I also got the last of my questions answered by him. I want to find out who the local chief of police is and send in a letter just letting him know how cool this guy's been in how he's handled this whole thing. I'm betting he doesn't get a whole lot of thanks or appreciation working in homicide, and in my opinion, he definitely deserves it.
And then we got most of the rest of her stuff looked through & sorted. Some's just thrown away, and a lot of the rest is set aside. A couple friends said they'd run a garage sale for me to see what they can get for it. I'm good with that. Whatever's left will get inventoried and donated to the local equivalent of the Salvation Army. I'll be glad to have that part over with. I really don't need all the reminders around, and the lingering, nagging thoughts that I need to deal with her stuff still. It's bad enough having to deal with her death. This unholy fucking mess she left me with just adds to it exponentially. Especailly with having to look at getting ready to try to sell the house and/or move out in the next several months.
Losing my wife to suicide and losing my home in the same year. Whee.
It's getting done. Under other circumstances, like if I could afford to keep the house, I'd have taken a lot more time for getting this done. It's by far and bar none the most exhausting thing I've ever had to deal with. I know I'll be glad when it's all done and over with. I'll still have to file a tax return for her next year given that she worked in the month of January. Hopefully everything else will be done by then and that'll be the last that I'll have to do to finish up what she left behind.
Then it'll just be figuring out how to rebuild a life.