Jul 14, 2006 17:46
I asked you all this question, and really it all started from a conversation with a friend. Below are people's answers... if I listed your answer and don't have a mailing address for you, email me: apositivevoice at gmail dot com. I kept the names/usernames confidential - you can "out" yourself if you choose in the comments section :)
HIV is somewhat like a computer virus.... it replicates itself... and even if it doesn't deploy its payload, it can still be a drain on resources.... IT people constantly trying to keep it from spreading... taking up bandwidth, etc. Sometimes stopping it from replicating can cause disruptions in service....
but it's better than having it replicate more and eventually deploy its payload
HIV is a reminder that I'm no longer the person I once was. I no longer have an addiction to feed. I no longer disappoint people on a daily basis. I no longer disappoint myself. It reminds me, every day, that while there are certainly consequences for our actions..if I had to choose..I would choose this over what I once was.
I guess HIV means having to come to terms with oneself... for some its coming to terms with the lifestyle that might have led them to the disease... for others it wasn't exactly a choice, and they have had to accept their own particular situation with HIV. I find that I keep running from place to place hoping that HIV resources will be better, but realize that no matter how good the people or places might be, I ultimately have to accept that HIV is part of my life. I have to come to terms with the fact that I have it, my sister doesn't, and life without HIV is unlikely. I mean everyone has to go through the self-realization phase in one form or another, but with HIVers the process is a little more harsh because every aspect of your life is affected whether realized or not.
i think its faceless, well... you know when you go to an amusement park or something and there are those plywood characters or whatever with a hole cut out for the head and you can stick your face in and take a picture?? ....thats what hiv is like anyone can fill that face.
Growing up, I did not care about the AIDS virus. It never affected me personally, so I didn't really think about it. And then it happened. I dated a girl who turned out to be HIV+ and my way of thinking was altered forever. I was in love with this girl and unfortunately my reaction destroyed what could have occurred. See, I still love this girl, and because she's HIV+, I associate finding a cure for AIDS with her as weird as that may sound. I'm not talking about the Miracle Magic "I Have enough money to buy my way out of AIDS but fuck the rest of you" Johnson, but rather the real cure. The cure they neglect to find because it makes more revenue to treat this disease. So,I'm selfish when I think of AIDS. If it weren't for the love of my life who I can't have due to bad timing and locational issues, I would be in a relationship with her, but I fear every day of my life that it will be the day she gets to be sick and can't get better. But the kicker is, If she dies, I will never know because our relationship has been relegated to an internet one and that scares me.
Honestly, HIV was a disease I'd heard of but never thought much about until my best friend in high school disclosed she was HIV+. The disclosure didn't scare me in any way and, at the time, I didn't really understand why she was scared to tell me. Today, it's the faces of friends I met throughout my life, silently battling the disease daily and winning!
HIV means that I already know my friend is open and honest. I know things for sure about her than I don't know for sure about other people and if she's willing to be open and honest about having HIV, I know she'll be open and honest about other things as well, something I can't say with as much certainty about other people in my life.
umm...i dont know...honestly? scary, life-threatening, life-long, disease?
To those that responded... thanks for playing :)
You guys rock my world.
Oh and from Miss Nina:
Me:so does HIV look like me?
Her:no, but you make it look good haha
(DISCLAIMER: This is in no way meant to encourage people to go out and get HIV or "pretend" they have it.)
Next up - Does HIV Look Like Me? The national campaign is getting a face lift! More later :)
what hiv means to me,
opinion,
hiv