(no subject)
i was just folding laundry... and i came across my San francisco t-shirt.. and i thought about how proud i was that i conquered my fear of flying ... i flew all the way to california alone..i made all the reservations by myself, i planned the whole trip and went alone... and i had a great flippin time. i even went to chicago all by myself last march, took amtrak all alone.. planned that trip by myself, stayed alone in a hotel, ate big meals in expensive restaurants by myself..for someone with monophobia issues..i sure get around by myself..whats that all about.. and eveyones always so worried about me going alone..when it comes down to it..i prefer to go alone.. because atleast i know ill be going... try and wait for a friend and it will never happen... wheres the wind blowing me next... damn now that i think about it ive gone done alot of traveling alone...rochester, albany, chicago (2 times), west virginia, Philly. im pretty resourceful...as afraid of being alone as i am, i sure have no problem traveling across the country and back, but going into 7-11 alone around the corner from my house is another story... the worst part is experiencing fun things and having no one with you to share the times with. museums, restaurants, exhibits, the sunsets, the sunrise, the local sites, tours, clubs and bars just lack the full enjoyment factor...atleast san francisco was great, i had a great friend to share those experiences with. i miss him. well perhaps this trip to chicago i can find some company. must go to chicago SOON!!! my tattoo wants finished...its yelling at me she feels lonely and neglected. shit isnt that a revelation..my tattoo is more like me then i realize, and she is by far my most favorite tattoo, she has sooo much inner emotion, and value,invested from me. she says it all perfectly with the seal of her lips and the closed hiding of her eyes...i love her as she was alive... and its strange but i know she loves me too...for giving her a face... a struggle shes fought for ages..battered and broken and cracked, looking for a way out...perhaps im not so alone, i have her. im off my rocker...i know..