My fingers keep reaching for the wrong light switches.
It's not that I'm depressed, per se.
Just disillusioned. Jaded strikes me as too strong a word. And cynical? That's my baseline. That's nothing new. There was a time when an acquaintance described me as always smiling, happy. And I was. It's happened. Given the right circumstances. The irony being, of course, that circumstances change. And they're never gentle. They're transforming. I, laughing in the backseat, now staring at my closet doors. It's okay. It's the ebb and flow. That me will return. Someday. The me that my acquaintance, Cienna, named as the ever-happy, optimistic Ian is in there, somewhere. He'll awaken.
It's not that I'm sad.
I'm just not anything.
Just disillusioned. Jaded strikes me as too strong a word. And cynical? That's my baseline. That's nothing new. There was a time when an acquaintance described me as always smiling, happy. And I was. It's happened. Given the right circumstances. The irony being, of course, that circumstances change. And they're never gentle. They're transforming. I, laughing in the backseat, now staring at my closet doors. It's okay. It's the ebb and flow. That me will return. Someday. The me that my acquaintance, Cienna, named as the ever-happy, optimistic Ian is in there, somewhere. He'll awaken.
It's not that I'm sad.
I'm just not anything.