(no subject)
well im posting a happy entry today. i always seem to just write in here when im upset. so yesterday i had a day of jsut saying FUCK IT to every situation i came across. it started when i went to glendi which is a greek festival and usually i never dance because i have two left feet. but nick grabbed my hand i was dancing and yes i do have two left feet haha. but yesterday with nikc i thought me and him were drifitng as friends but then he introduced me to people he would go " this is one of my best friends.. ive known her for awhile" so it was nice to hear that. then i came home and i felt i needed to talk to cory like thigns werent right with us and i wanted to know why so we had a longgggggg conversation like me and him have never tlaked like that. he admitted though that we were awkward around one another but then he told me why he thought i dumped him and it was the complete opposite and i told him it was because we jsut didn't click like we should like i liked him i thought he was ncie but we jsut didn't click. and he's like oh and then i proceeded to tell him that dumping him was one of the ahrdest things ive ever had to do because i didn't want to hurt him and then i told him to remember the last night we hung out how angry i was it wasnt at him i was beating myself up because i couldnt bring myself to do it and he's like i wish you told me this earlier and i was like.. well. i get scared of telling people what i think unless i know it doesnt matter anymore.. thats why im saying it now haha because it doesnt matter hah and then we got onto the subject of whitney ha.. bad idea because ive never liked the girl and i tried to not say anythign but then he asked what i thought of her and i said honestly ive never liked the girl that first impression of a bad vibe always grew when someone told me somethign negative so i'm never gonna like her and so forth that kind of ended our conversaiton but he didn't seem amd at me he said goodnight and asked when i was working and so he understood where i was coming from and everything so.. i guess we're good now. and then proceeding with the ngiht of the fuck its i ALMOST told evan how i felt about him but i didn't because i was on the vurge of crying i was so scared i had the lump in my throat and i was shaking and nervous but i didn't do it but he talked different last night he asked me how i was.. he never does that he laughed at what i said which was good and then he told me to have a good night and i said it was very polite and he said see ima nice guy haha and then he said it again and it was ncie but i ALMOST told him which scared the living shit outta me haha. but it was all good