Gather round, children, gather round...
Once upon a time, I taught preschool at a Baptist church.
Preferring to retain my creative liberty in washing their little brains squeaky clean, I generally ignored the assigned curriculum totally... however, there came a day when I was strapped for time and pulled out the fateful pre-packaged visuals in a mad dash for the classroom. So armed, I began giving the kids their lesson.
We were learning the story of Noah’s ark. The 18x24 cards depicted the biblical characters after the flood, skipping happily off of the ark whilst joyous animals frolicked all around them.
As I told the story, I would hold up the appropriate card for the innocent eyes to behold, taking a quick glance for my own reference. It happened, however, that what I perceived in one particular glance registered in my brain at the selfsame moment as the collective gasp of terror from the children.
Following the fanciful frolicking, was an illustration of Noah thanking G-d for safe passage through the flood. Front and center stood an enormous rock alter on which lay a child-sized lamb, with its throat slit open, tongue hanging out, and blood streaming down in velvety serpentine threads. Noah stood behind, arms outstretched toward heaven in joy.
This may have been the first step toward my quasi-vegetarianism, which (with this memory once again intact) becomes less quasi every day.
Most of the children eventually went to rehab for various drug and self mutilation addictions by the 1st grade. I hear that some of them are doing fine now.
Next week: Random fundamentalist propaganda from the 60’s and 70’s...
Preferring to retain my creative liberty in washing their little brains squeaky clean, I generally ignored the assigned curriculum totally... however, there came a day when I was strapped for time and pulled out the fateful pre-packaged visuals in a mad dash for the classroom. So armed, I began giving the kids their lesson.
We were learning the story of Noah’s ark. The 18x24 cards depicted the biblical characters after the flood, skipping happily off of the ark whilst joyous animals frolicked all around them.
As I told the story, I would hold up the appropriate card for the innocent eyes to behold, taking a quick glance for my own reference. It happened, however, that what I perceived in one particular glance registered in my brain at the selfsame moment as the collective gasp of terror from the children.
Following the fanciful frolicking, was an illustration of Noah thanking G-d for safe passage through the flood. Front and center stood an enormous rock alter on which lay a child-sized lamb, with its throat slit open, tongue hanging out, and blood streaming down in velvety serpentine threads. Noah stood behind, arms outstretched toward heaven in joy.
This may have been the first step toward my quasi-vegetarianism, which (with this memory once again intact) becomes less quasi every day.
Most of the children eventually went to rehab for various drug and self mutilation addictions by the 1st grade. I hear that some of them are doing fine now.
Next week: Random fundamentalist propaganda from the 60’s and 70’s...