Wow, an update?
So, Here I am in Austin. Lee is away on business in St. Louis...(however, we did just have some great phone sex, Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining.)
I've had the strangest week. It's one of those weeks you learned alot from...yet...you never want to experience anything from it again...As a matter of fact, this week could completely disappear from the few brain cells I have left, and it would leave me feeling free and energized. I would like to delete the past 7 days from my life. I want everything back the way it was 8 days ago.
Other than my shitty week...I am still madly in love with Leejon. He completes me on so many levels. He makes every morning so wonderful. He fills me with such a feeling of hope, and desire to make our life together beautiful. He sees things like noone else I've ever met.
I've been "in love" before. Or at least, I thought I was in love...I have a tendency to crush incredibly hard...feel like the world begins and ends with someone, and then BAM....the "love" is gone, and I'm completely over it within minutes. Which leads me to believe that in the past...I had what is called "crushes" (sorry for the excessive use of qoutations!) and nothing more.
With Lee...Everything feels different.
He takes my breath away everyday.
He puts me into a state of awe at least 2 times daily.
He is so much smarter than me...I have so much to learn from him...and I rarely give people credit for even being intelligent.
My boyfriend before Lee was very smart. I learned alot about spirituality and self awareness from him...
Lee, on the other hand, teaches me something everyday. About anything and everything.
If I need to know some obscure tid bit of information...Lee usually knows...If I need a deep and well thought out pep talk...Lee lays it on me...If I am freaking out and panicking and cant catch my breath...no matter what hes doing or how frantic he may feel...he helps me through it.
No matter what happens, I am safe in the knowledge that this may be the first real time I've been in love. For God's sake, I was married before...I was very much in love with Steven...But this is a different kind of feeling even..
With Steven I felt optimistic and I had a certain innocence and unrealistic view of romance and marriage...Hell, I was only 19.
The feelings I have with Lee are unlike anything else before...I feel completely comfortable. and safe. I am incredibly vulnerable...but I'm okay with it. As a matter of fact, I like it that I am so vulnerable to him. I've completely surrendered myself heart, body, and soul. With Lee I feel like I could tell him ANYTHING , No matter how embarrassing, or ridiculous it will make me look, and not only will he listen and be understanding...but he'll show me the humorous side to everything....
For example...
::: Jewish Born Amber gets up in the middle of "Passion of the Christ"..to go cry in the bathroom....:::
::: Lee, upon Amber's return..."awww baby...Are you sad because you killed Jesus?"..Gives her a HUGE hug, a big kiss and wipes away her tears..":::
For such a delicate situation, he knew the right thing to say. Heknows me so well. Humor will solve anything with me. Make me laugh and I will forget my troubles. I was told just today by him that I make him laugh more than any other person has in his life...which I find hard to believe...but it's little compliments like that that last. And matter most. Knowing you make someone laugh is enough...Knowing you make them that happy is something completely different. It's incredible.
I'm 23 years old. I am just now finding out who I am...who I want to be...What I want from life...What life expects from me...All of the important things you come to terms with and decide in your early twenties? Thats me right now.
Thankfully the transition into adulthood has been accompanied by the world's most supportive boyfriend, and the world's most amazing and understanding friends. I am so lucky to have what I have. Life is good. You know when you get that feeling like your chest is floating? Your heart feels like it's going to pop right out and dance around...where even the top of your head is burning with this feeling of self...and being whole?
Thats what I experience everyday. So much to be thankful for. So much to appreciate. So many blessings.
Life is fragile. Love is fragile. Nothing is permanent...but it's such an incredible feeling knowing that everyone in your life loves you and is so deeply loved.
I am looking forward to the rest of my life.
And I have so many people to thank.
I love you all.
-amber.
I've had the strangest week. It's one of those weeks you learned alot from...yet...you never want to experience anything from it again...As a matter of fact, this week could completely disappear from the few brain cells I have left, and it would leave me feeling free and energized. I would like to delete the past 7 days from my life. I want everything back the way it was 8 days ago.
Other than my shitty week...I am still madly in love with Leejon. He completes me on so many levels. He makes every morning so wonderful. He fills me with such a feeling of hope, and desire to make our life together beautiful. He sees things like noone else I've ever met.
I've been "in love" before. Or at least, I thought I was in love...I have a tendency to crush incredibly hard...feel like the world begins and ends with someone, and then BAM....the "love" is gone, and I'm completely over it within minutes. Which leads me to believe that in the past...I had what is called "crushes" (sorry for the excessive use of qoutations!) and nothing more.
With Lee...Everything feels different.
He takes my breath away everyday.
He puts me into a state of awe at least 2 times daily.
He is so much smarter than me...I have so much to learn from him...and I rarely give people credit for even being intelligent.
My boyfriend before Lee was very smart. I learned alot about spirituality and self awareness from him...
Lee, on the other hand, teaches me something everyday. About anything and everything.
If I need to know some obscure tid bit of information...Lee usually knows...If I need a deep and well thought out pep talk...Lee lays it on me...If I am freaking out and panicking and cant catch my breath...no matter what hes doing or how frantic he may feel...he helps me through it.
No matter what happens, I am safe in the knowledge that this may be the first real time I've been in love. For God's sake, I was married before...I was very much in love with Steven...But this is a different kind of feeling even..
With Steven I felt optimistic and I had a certain innocence and unrealistic view of romance and marriage...Hell, I was only 19.
The feelings I have with Lee are unlike anything else before...I feel completely comfortable. and safe. I am incredibly vulnerable...but I'm okay with it. As a matter of fact, I like it that I am so vulnerable to him. I've completely surrendered myself heart, body, and soul. With Lee I feel like I could tell him ANYTHING , No matter how embarrassing, or ridiculous it will make me look, and not only will he listen and be understanding...but he'll show me the humorous side to everything....
For example...
::: Jewish Born Amber gets up in the middle of "Passion of the Christ"..to go cry in the bathroom....:::
::: Lee, upon Amber's return..."awww baby...Are you sad because you killed Jesus?"..Gives her a HUGE hug, a big kiss and wipes away her tears..":::
For such a delicate situation, he knew the right thing to say. Heknows me so well. Humor will solve anything with me. Make me laugh and I will forget my troubles. I was told just today by him that I make him laugh more than any other person has in his life...which I find hard to believe...but it's little compliments like that that last. And matter most. Knowing you make someone laugh is enough...Knowing you make them that happy is something completely different. It's incredible.
I'm 23 years old. I am just now finding out who I am...who I want to be...What I want from life...What life expects from me...All of the important things you come to terms with and decide in your early twenties? Thats me right now.
Thankfully the transition into adulthood has been accompanied by the world's most supportive boyfriend, and the world's most amazing and understanding friends. I am so lucky to have what I have. Life is good. You know when you get that feeling like your chest is floating? Your heart feels like it's going to pop right out and dance around...where even the top of your head is burning with this feeling of self...and being whole?
Thats what I experience everyday. So much to be thankful for. So much to appreciate. So many blessings.
Life is fragile. Love is fragile. Nothing is permanent...but it's such an incredible feeling knowing that everyone in your life loves you and is so deeply loved.
I am looking forward to the rest of my life.
And I have so many people to thank.
I love you all.
-amber.