in the corners of my childhood memories
- random drabbles written that i found in my folder and were posted elsewhere
- either completed or not due to time constraints and will not be working on them again, lol
Yunho-centric | pg-13
Junsu's not the best angel in terms of behavior and he's certainly not the most stylish (not when there's Jaejoong in his pink tops and black leather jackets) but he is the wealthiest one, after Changmin of course. That boy was born frugal, lived prudently and death hasn't changed him a bit. But whereas Changmin's rich because he saves up what money he makes or finds, Junsu is rich because of the diner he runs on behalf of God. It's called Heaven on Earth and albeit corny, it serves some of the best food around simply because it's run by a group of Angels. Cooks who know what they're doing and waitresses and waiters that fall under the category of eye candy and then some. Oh, and it also happens to be very popular, open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week because after all, as the place where all the dying go for their last meals, there's hardly ever a second of complete silence or rest.
Not everyone remembers their last meal, Junsu certainly doesn't but there's a file up in heaven that has it listed down to the glasses of water he had ordered (five) and the amount of ketchup he'd used in eating his fries (three squeezes and one pump). There's an angel assigned to every table, one per nearly expired human or "ex-human" as Junsu labels them and their task is simply to encourage and ensure that their ex-human enjoys their last meal to the fullest extent. They're not to be told they're dying or on have already died and whatever they want to eat, be it a fresh lobster dinner with warm butter or a big bowl of ramen, it's free and it's always delicious.
When the humans arrive, they're almost always bloodied up or dismembered but they can't tell for themselves. Some of them have slit wrists and some of their limbs are attached barely by the skin while others appear normal with just a single bullet hole to show for their cause of death. It's not nasty and it's not at all gory, it's death and as angels, they've seen it all. The ex-humans are only granted entrance into the diner in the moments immediately after their death, often during the time between dying and death. God has a few tricks up his sleeves or he wouldn't be God and the second after a human is killed by whatever circumstances, they're transported to the diner and in line for a seat that they're given nearly immediately.
Junsu's ex-human for today is one Jung Yunho. He's got tire marks all over his body and especially one across his face but even the black skid marks can't hide the sharp jaw and cheerful smile. Junsu leads him to a counter seat because Yunho had asked for one and instead of a menu, he's given a tall glass of iced coke to start off his meal.
"What'll it be, Yunho-sshi?" Junsu asks kindly, notepad in hand and pen tucked behind his ear, "whatever it is that you want to eat the most at this moment."
Yunho looks around for a little while, the bottom of his converses squeaking against the counter and shrugs, "I guess I'd like a turkey and mayo sandwich."
Junsu writes it down, nodding as he leans a little closer, "Is that all?"
"Um-," Yunho pauses, looking around the diner and then nods.
"It's on the diner, Yunho-sshi so whatever you order is free. Today is a special day."
Everyday in the diner is a special day but Yunho isn't going to know that seeing as how he isn't going to live past the hour.
"Oh!" the older man says in surprise, a slow smile spreading across his face.
Junsu leaves Yunho five full minutes later with turkey sandwich crossed out on his notepad and replaced by a simple meal of a bowl of white rice, soy sauce and one egg fried sunny-side up. It's probably the easiest meal that's ever been ordered before, considering how Changmin's table across from Yunho's just ordered an entire Thanksgiving meal. The food arrives minutes later and Junsu brings it back out for Yunho to eat, offering him chopsticks and a spoon as he takes a seat by Yunho.
"Is that really good?" he asks curiously,
Whatever the ex-humans order in the diner are not only just their favorite foods but the foods that they think taste the best or hold some sort of sentimental value. Jaejoong, for example, had ordered a large bowl of kimchi jjigae but barely finished half, the stew extra spicy because he asked for it that way. It was his favorite growing up, the only dish his mother made for him before she passed away when he was just eight. Maybe this white rice and runny egg with soy sauce holds some sort of special place in Yunho's heart too.
"Delicious," Yunho says with a smile, offering some up, "the best I've ever had."
Changmin's hanging about somewhere instead of tending to his ex-human and he laughs, "Hard to fuck up an egg and white rice."
Yunho looks up and just grins, adding a little more soy sauce to the bowl of rice and egg mashed up together, "Guess you're right. I don't know what it is about this, it's not that hard to make and it's not at all expensive but eating it just makes me feel like I'm home again."
Changmin doesn't say anything after that and walks off, leaving Junsu who nods in Yunho's direction, "It's your comfort food," he says in understanding.
Yunho finishes his meal in less than fifteen minutes and after offering Junsu a clumsy tip that the angel refuses, he's sent out the door on the far right. Changmin tosses him a piece of chocolate as he's leaving, waving as Yunho walks through the door and disappears. One minute later, Jung Yunho is officially pronounced dead in ER room 4 after eighteen minutes of failed resuscitation.
Homin | pg-13
They call themselves the Dead Balls Club. Originally they’d been called the Dead Sports Club but Jaejoong thought it misleading, considering how none of them actually play sports, at least anymore. It’s kind of hard to do so considering they’re all dead.
- - -
It started with Yoochun. He was fifteen when he first started caddying for his local Golf Club and nineteen when he was approached to do it as a full-time job by one of his dad’s friends. He did it for the pay, twenty an hour in cash plus any tips he got if his golfer happened to do well or win a match. For four years, he managed to feign enough interest in the sport to fool the pros but to be completely honest, golf is probably the most boring sport there is (that or curling, which Yoochun didn’t even know was a legitimate sport) and he used to daydream so much on the job that he’d nearly get hit in the fact if it weren’t for luck. Well, luck eventually runs out.
On January 10th, just a few days before the Lunar New Year, Park Yoochun’s killed by a golf club to the head, suffering from such severe brain hemorrhaging that he’d been declared dead just ten minutes after the accident.
He was club member #1.
The second to join was Junsu. Once considered one of the most promising and talented footballers in his age group, Junsu’s short and just a bit rounder than the other players. None of that mattered though, not when he was consistently the best scorer on the team, having earned player of the year nods from the league for three years running before his death. Speaking of which, his death was simultaneously declared the most tragic and most boring by Jaejoong and the others.
Junsu doesn’t remember much about it anymore, it’d happened quickly enough so that it’s all still kind of a blur, add on to that the fact that he’s got a really crappy memory and what results is a cause of death that changes depending on the time of day he’s asked about it.
When Yoochun first recruited him into the club, it was based purely on the fact that Junsu still had on his football uniform when they met. Shirt a little dirty with grass stains and shorts a bit too short, Yoochun couldn’t help but approach Junsu, especially when the first thing he’d seen of the younger man was his behind. Yoochun’s just always been an ass kind of guy.
After a little researching and a lot of wooing, Yoochun managed to find out that Junsu’d been killed in a freak accident involving a loose shoelace, a football and the goal stands (in that exact order, mind you). Yoochun conviently forgets to tell Junsu exactly how he’d died and to this day, the younger man still believes it had something to do with a spike to his face.
There’s not much that can be done with two members though and so from there, Yoochun worked hard in finding those that died from sports-related incidents, recruiting Jaejoong and then Yunho. Four members sounded just fine to him, especially since it’d taken nearly half a year to work up to this many of them. While cardiac-arrests (the suitably dubbed Dead Hearts Club) and cancer deaths (predictably called the Tumor Death Club) are a dime a dozen, sports-related deaths were rare enough to be put on the endangered death list.
- - -
It’s been two years since Yunho’s joined and they’ve basically ceased searching for anyone else to join. They don’t really do much in the club anyway, Yoochun arranges for a few movie dates and Jaejoong will constantly ask them out to eat or drink but that’s about it. It’s not until rumors of a new guy in town, a Shim Changmin, reaches them and piques their interest. Supposedly, the young man was killed in a racing incident, a rather horrific one involving his face and the pavement plus a set of tire marks. Not exactly a picture perfect death.
They find him wandering around the cafeteria, plastic tray in hand and in search of some food. Changmin ignores them like he’s been ignoring everyone else so far but when Yunho walks forward with a big plate of fried noodles in hand that smell decidedly like heaven, he finds it really hard to ignore.
“Come join our club,” Jaejoong blurts out as Changmin’s ravishing his plate of food. He chokes on a long strand of noodle and shakes his head, Yoochun kicking Jaejoong under the table for his lack of tact.
“What he means to say is, please join our club?”
“And why should I?”
Quid pro quo. If they want him to join their club, then what’s in it for him? They don’t seem to have an answer for him and after finishing his meal and thanking Yunho for it with a nod, Changmin leaves with a smile on his face, glad that he’s outwitted yet another Death Club.
Exactly five days after that, the Dead Balls Club holds a super top secret meeting so secret that only two out of the four members show up. Yoochun realizes he’s forgotten to pass his note onto Junsu and Jaejoong admits that he’s forgotten to tell Yunho the meeting time and place. Left up to their own devices, the duo of JaeChun decide to implement Project Seduce Shim Changmin (PSSS for short) because after all, what’s a better reason to join a club then sex?
They corner Yunho in the bathroom, the older man having just gotten out of a shower and tell him of their plans, demanding that he immediately start getting close to Changmin so that they can get together. Naturally, Yunho doesn’t agree, he doesn’t see why he has to when Yoochun’s got all the charms and Jaejoong the good looks (he conveniently leaves Junsu out of it), especially since it’s their idea and their ideas never turn out well.
“It’s because you’ve got the big cock,” Jaejoong explains patiently, patting Yunho on the head like he would to a small child, sounding as patronizing as he can.
Yoochun nods and adds on, “And because you’ve already got a connection with him! You gave him food and I heard he likes food.”
“Everyone likes food!” Yunho says in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air, towel falling off when Jaejoong grabs it and points at his cock.
Lord knows what he’s about to say because he doesn’t get the chance to say it. Changmin enters at that exact moment, a towel in hand to use the shower and winds up gaping a bit at the sight he sees. Clearing his throat awkwardly, eyes kind of glued to Yunho’s private parts, Changmin backs out and turns around, face a bit red as he heads off to the other bathroom. There’s got to be another one.
Yunho’s mortified to the point of wanting to crawl into the bathroom and never come out again, and it isn’t until Jaejoong claps him on the back and declares it a done deal that he starts to shudder.
“If you do this, I won’t tell everyone that you caught a fly ball with your face and that that’s how you died!”
“But that’s how you died, not me.”
“Yoochun will back me up! People will believe me.”
And like in everything else that Jaejoong manages to manipulate people into doing, Yunho finds himself sitting in a table alone with a very unreceptive Changmin, cursing the Gods for having Kim Jaejoong as his best friend.
“Is there a reason I’m here?” Changmin asks after nearly fifteen minutes of silence, tapping his fingers against the table.
Yunho nods and then shakes his head and nods again, absolutely at a loss for words.
The “date” ends with Changmin leaving after another halfhearted attempt at talking, Yunho getting knocked in the head by Jaejoong who keeps asking why he didn’t just smooch him. They decide that maybe Yunho’s not cut out for wooing after all and that’s fine, Yoochun’ll just have to woo from behind the scenes for Yunho.
Attempt #2 starts out with a half-naked Yunho, always a good thing and a bowl of jjigae, again a very good thing. Changmin walks into his bedroom to find Yunho standing there with a bow on his head and a bowl of food in his hands, face red and cock kind of awkwardly soft. Attempt #2 ends with Changmin giving Yunho a pair of shorts before kicking him out, jjigae eaten and bowl licked clean.
So maybe naked + food isn’t the way to go. Junsu tells them to try attacking Changmin from another point, the three of them setting up a situation in which Changmin falls (Yoochun trips him, how clever) and Yunho’s there to catch him (still naked, except this time from the waist up). Doesn’t work. Changmin ends up kicking Jaejoong’s ass and nearly killing Yoochun, Yunho watching miserably from the side with a t-shirt that Changmin’s given him.
Again and again they keep trying and they keep failing. Yunho’s naked more than half the time and while Changmin never complains, he starts to just walk around with an extra set of clothes on hand. Half a year after they first begin trying, Yunho finds himself in a tiny predicament: he’s kind of in love with someone who kind of hates his guts.
When he tells the others, Junsu laughs and Yoochun looks bewildered, Jaejoong the one that takes him aside for a talk that lasts nearly a full hour. The conclusion they reach is that the attempts have to stop and they do.
- - -
It’s been three weeks without an random attack and Changmin’s starting to get worried. At first he was paranoid they’d jump him while he was in the shower (it’s been done twice now) and then he started to think that they were giving up on him but now that it really seems like they’ve stopped trying, Changmin misses them. As much as he hates to admit it, he kind of likes the attention, not to mention that he’s also got a tiny crush on Yunho as well.
One day while he’s sitting in the cafeteria eating alone, Yunho shows up and sits down next to him, the two of them eating side by side in complete silence. It isn’t until after the meal that Yunho starts to talk.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, “about all the attacks. The guys have decided to stop so we won’t be bothering you anymore.” Yunho laughs oddly, “Guess this means you won’t have to see me all over the place.”
Changmin’s heart drops a little and he nods, poking at his rice, “Yeah, guess so...”
Yunho looks over at Changmin, sneaking a peek when he doesn’t think the younger man is looking and shrugs, “I got you something as an apology.” He hands over a cupcake he’d made himself, vanilla with chocolate icing with a pathetic race car looking blob sitting on top of it. “For you.”
Changmin looks at the blob and does something that Yunho’s never seen the younger man do, Changmin smiles.
“I actually got beamed in the head with a frisbee,” Changmin says with a laugh, “my neighbors were having a game of ultimate fribee and they hit me right in the neck, knocked me out and I fell down my front porch and died. Pretty boring.”
Yunho grins when Changmin scooches just a little closer, the space between them now just wide enough for Yunho’s hand to lace with Changmin’s, “Yeah? Well, I choked on a chess piece that my sister accidentally baked into the lasagna one night, it was a queen I believe? Or maybe a knight, I don’t know, it was pointy enough that it got stuck in my airway. I was dead before the ambulance even got to my house.”
Changmin smiles and Yunho leans in, Jaejoong watching from a distance with a proud smile on his face. They’re a match made in Heaven, no doubt about it.
Homin | pg-13
Application for Angel Transfer
Name: Jung Yunho
Previous Occupation: Guardian Angel
Occupation wanted: Angel Mechanic
Cause of Death: Killed by a falling iphone while crossing the street
Reason for transfer: Personal
Other: N/A
This is the first application that Jaejoong’s received since being promoted to the head angel position of the mechanics division and while he’s not surprised that Yunho would want a break from being a guardian angel, he is surprised that the younger man wants a job in his department.
Yunho’s situation is widely known through all of the Heaven . The older man is one of the best guardian angels and ever since his death, he’s been outstanding in every thing he did, sometimes given humans of such importance (hello, how did you think Barack Obama become President Obama?) that even the higher-ups are astounded at the level of success Yunho has had. Every angel has a bad day, some even have a bad year and Yunho had a horrid week. To cut a long story short, Yunho had accidentally led his human through the wrong exit of a highway and as a result, a twenty-three year old was killed in a tragic traffic accident.
Taking into consideration all that’s happened, Jaejoong realizes that he doesn’t get much of a choice in this matter, seeing as how the application arrived this morning by special delivery with the words ACCEPTED already stamped across the paper. Looks like the mechanics department is going to be welcoming in another angel very soon.
Out of all the departments in Heaven, mechanics is probably one of the easiest ones to be in. There’s really not much to do and there’s very little chance of fucking anything up, which is why Jaejoong supposes he was put in charge of the department in the first place. He’s had quite the record of screwing things (and people) over, although in his defense, he totally never meant to do it. (Except for in that case with the divorce judge that loved peeping over male toilet stalls. Jaejoong totally fried his ass and in return, he was royally fucked over when he fell in love with said judge and was forced to marry him after he got all weepy during sex.)
- - -
Yunho’s been somewhat reticent since the accident and he’s barely spoken a word to anyone, murmuring quietly when taken in to see God and nodding his head when asked if he was doing okay. What’s he supposed to say anyway? He killed a guy and now Junsu’s in Heaven baking cookies (in the shape of angels and devils, of course) when he should be living as well. The biggest problem in Heaven is that mistakes are made everyday but there’s no do-over, no magical button that’ll allow the angels to erase all the harm they’ve just done. What kind of a Heaven is that?
He supposes he’s had an epiphany. He used to think that Heaven was the best, that everyone up here was cheerful and lovely and that even the worst of the screw-ups were deserving of a second chance. Now he knows better. It’s one chance and that’s all anyone should ever get.
His first day on the job is a bore. Jaejoong shows him around the office, introducing him to three other colleagues and describes to him what his job is going to entail. It really isn’t hard and halfway through Jaejoong’s long, long speech about how important mechanics really is, Yunho’s already thinking about what to order for lunch. Thankfully, his co-worker saves him from further misery by making out with Jaejoong.
“I’ll have you know that deciding whether or not a car needs a flat tire or if it needs a broken-”
Jaejoong’s cut short when there’s suddenly a tongue in his mouth and after a halfhearted attempt at pushing away Yoochun, he just gives in and they stumble off to his office, door locking magically and blinds closing as well.
Seeing as how his boss and co-worker are currently otherwise occupied (seems like Yoochun’s enjoying himself quite a lot by the sounds of it), Yunho flips over his mechanics handbook and goes over the hand movements a few times by himself. Yunho had known that this would be an easy job, hence him requesting his transfer but it’s bordering on mindless.
Many don’t see the point in having a mechanics department and Yunho would agree. A typical day on the job involves flying down to Earth and scouting the highways and freeways. Jaejoong tells him that he’s better off sticking with the long routes that span across the country, it’s basically a free-for-all then and all he has to do is pick and choose his victims.
Humans seem to believe that angels are all nice and sweet and proper but that’s just not the case. Angels are just as capable of screwing around as the devils are and the department of mechanics is a prime example of that because all they’re required to do is: pick a victim and fuck up their cars.
Ever wonder why your car runs a flat when you’re fifty miles away from the next exit on a highway and in an area where your cell has zero reception? That’s Yoochun. Ever run over a skunk and have it stick to your windshield? Smell lingering for so many days that you wind up giving it a tomato bath every six hours? That’ll be Heechul. Finally, ever wonder how it is that your car is completely full of gas when you drive past a gas station only to discover fifteen minutes later that you’re running on a nearly empty tank? And no matter how hard you try to drive back to the same gas station, you just end up going in circles and your car stalls in the middle of an abandoned road? Yep, that’s Jaejoong.
And that’s what the mechanics in heaven are in charge of doing.
- - -
Yunho’s first week on the job runs smoothly. He cracks a few windshields, overheats an engine and kills the air conditioning on a charter bus, something Heechul claps him on the back for. His second week, Jaejoong promotes him to dealing with locomotives as well, leaving him to grease the tracks of the trains or derail them and cause accidents. All in all, his days pass by blandly but he does enjoy the company of his fellow angels, except he could do without the afternoon sexing that Jaejoong and Yoochun inevitably have.
It’s really not until Yunho’s six month on the job that he starts to like it. While boring, the job is oddly therapeutic. On days when he’s feeling bad or moody, he can take it out on all unsuspecting humans, causing them to lose their keys or lock themselves out of the car and if he’s feeling nice at all, he can knock an hour off their traveling time.
- - -
In the fall, Jaejoong decides to take a trip. When angels take trips, it’s usually to the hot springs down in Hell or it’s to the ski slopes in the Northern region of Heaven. Yoochun decides he wants to ski and Jaejoong wants to soak, so they compromise : a week of each. That’s a total of two weeks in which Yunho and Heechul will be left up to their own devices and since the mechanic department gets the least money in terms of budget, there’s really no substitute head angel sent their way. Instead, Jaejoong leaves Heechul in charge with Yunho serving as the back-up leader, his reasoning being that Heechul’s got seniority over Yunho (and he was bribed with a pack of smokes, the real kind and some vodka, also the real kind.)
When Yunho shows up for work the first day after Jaejoong and Yoochun are gone, he finds an empty office with a note on his desk from Heechul saying that he’s going to take a sick week, basically leaving everything up to him. For the first time in nearly a year, Yunho experiences what it’s like to actually have to work.
It’s a hectic day. He makes a few trips around the globe, making sure to visit all his local haunts to wreck some havoc. Yunho’s been at the job long enough to develop his own trademark and it’s simple, all he does is kill the air conditioning in the hottest parts of the globe (aka Malaysia) and then kill the heating in the coldest parts (aka Canada because no one really lives in Antarctica).
On a daily basis, Yunho will get cussed at and of course there are the imaginative minds that dream of killing him or hurting him, but on this particular Thursday, after causing the cooling fluid to back-up and ruin the AC of a tiny little car, he gets a crier. A handsome, long-legged and partially naked, crier.
“Fucking hell! What the fuck is this? I just got this checked at the Jiffy Lube two exits ago! Fucking-” the young man curses some more, kicking his wheels hard and Yunho really wishes he wouldn’t do that because then the car deflates, one of the tires going flat with a horrible sounding gush. “Oh great! Just what I need. AC that doesn’t work and a flat tire. Awesome, just awesome. What’s next? My rear window falls out?”
Yunho grins and complies, flicking his wrist and watching with glee as the left rear view window falls with a clunk. His hectic and generally crappy day suddenly just got a whole lot more entertaining.
“What the-” the younger man who looks a lot like someone who’d be a model, gingerally walks over to pick up the car part that’s supposed to be attached to his car but just fell of, and rather cleanly at that too. He promptly freaks out, chucking it far across the highway and staring at the car like it’s possessed, which might actually be an easier option than believing there’s an angel floatign over his shoulder screwing with him.
Yunho watches as his human whips out his phone to dial for help, the call not going through of course because they’re in one of those dead spots on the highway with no reception.
“WHY DO I PAY FOR 3G NETWORK WHEN THERE’S NO NETWORKING TO BE FOUND?”
Whining. Check.
Crying. Annnnnd check.
Collapsing onto the floor to throw a mini-trantrum. Check.
Digging through the car for food, water and something to sit on. Check.
Yunho’s starting to get bored and he’s about ready to fly off when he hears a muffled sob and turns back, eyes widening a bit to see the young man with his head bowed and knees pulled up to his chest. Sure, he’d been crying earlier but that was purely out of frustration, now he’s crying because of something else.
Taking a few steps around the human, Yunho peers into the car to see an urn and feels his heart give a pathetic little drop as he reads the name etched into the ceramic, Kim Junsu. Of course. Of all the people he could pick on, Yunho’s picked on Junsu’s ex-lover and now he’s feeling guilty as fuck about it-
“He’s not my lover...” Junsu’s voice comes at him from the side.
Yunho veers around sharply to see his ex-human sitting indian style on the hood of the car, a protable fan in his hand as he cools himself down.
“Changmin’s my best friend. Or well, he was my best friend.”
Even better. Yunho drops his head and staggers over to where Junsu’s sitting, pouting a little to himself as he leans against the hot metal.
“He’s kind of an ass most of the time but if you get past the whole ‘I want to kill you’ thing, Changminnie is actually a sweetheart. He’s the only one who showed up at my funeral besides my parents and he was the one that made sure my kitty didn’t lick all of my remains away when the urn crashed during an earthquake.”
Junsu keeps talking and telling him little tidbits about Changmin’s life, things that Yunho doesn’t really want to know about but can’t resist hearing. He learns about the time Changmin had nearly fallen off a tree in his childhood because he was busy rescusing Junsu who’d gotten stuck and then he’s told about how Changmin kissed a guy the first day of high school just to take the attention off of a kid who was being ridculed for peeing his pants.
“Sounds like an angel,” Yunho says quietly, Changmin still off on the side, stroking the urn rather creepily.
Junsu laughs at that and shakes his head, “If you knew him, you’d say other wise. I said he was nice and sweet at times. Now let me tell you about what he’s like at other times...”
By nightfall, Junsu’s told Yunho his best friend’s entire life story, right down to how Changmin had been such a sore loser after an entire afternoon of losses in Mario Kart that he’d refused to pay for rent for two months.
“And whenever I cook him food, he always tells me it’s horrible but eats it all. Like once, I made him kimchi jjigae and he said it was too salty but when I came out after my shower, he’d finished it. Said he added water and that it wasn’t too bad after that. You know, I don’t think he’s ever given me an actual compliment to my face...”
Yunho smiles and offers Junsu half a sandwich, the two of them chatting until sunrise, stopping only when Junsu finally gets off the car. “I have an appointment,” Junsu mumbles, looking at his watch, “I’ve just transferred to a new department myself and I have a meeting to report back to! I’ll see you around, Yunho-hyung.”
A puff of smoke later and Junsu’s gone, vanished into thin air and Yunho figures that this was probably Junsu’s way of saying he forgave him a long time ago for basically ruining his life. Yunho hops off the car as well, Changmin lying in the backseat, his arm curled around the urn. That’s really just weird and Yunho makes a face, fixing the car with a snap of his fingers.
There, now Changmin can go on his year long journey with Junsu’s ashes. Whatever floats his boat.
- - -
Three months later, Yunho bumps into Changmin again except this time, it’s after Heechul’s done his skunk number on him. It’s kind of hard for another angel to fix what’s already been done and so Yunho just sits with Changmin as the younger man attempts to spray away the smell with a Febreeze he’s just bought from the convenience store down the road. Of course it doesn’t work. Yunho’s also there for when Changmin dumps a whole lot of tomato sauce (canned and jarred) on his hood but that doesn’t work either. It takes a little effort but eventually Jaejoong orders (code for begs) Heechul to undo his skunking and Changmin’s on his way again to somewhere.
After a while, Yunho just decides to stick with Changmin. The younger man gets into so many accidents (some that were caused by other angels and some just natural) and he’s kind of entertaining to be around. Honestly, Yunho thinks that Changmin might be better at soliloquies than Shakespeare himself. Has anyone ever heard Shakespeare hold a conversation with himself while eating McDonald’s from a cardboard box? No, but Shim Changmin can do it and in three different voices with facial expressions to match.
Half a year after he’s first met Changmin, Yunho’s got to admit that he’s smitten. It’s so many levels of what-the-fuckery because angels aren’t supposed to fall for humans, especially not ones that are still alive but Yunho can’t help it. It’s rather cute the way Changmin wakes up in the morning with his hair in a million different directions, eyes still partially closed because he’s too sleepy to open them all the way. And it’s so endearing to see Changmin tuck Junsu’s urn to sleep every night (“I still think it’s creepy,” Jaejoong tells him daily).
So after a short meeting with Jaejoong, Yunho decides to apply for another transfer, this time requesting specifically that he be Shim Changmin’s guardian angel. He’s approved within the week.
- - -
For nine years and sixty-three days, Yunho watches over Changmin. He ensures that the younger man gets a good job, a nice girlfriend and a happy life. As Changmin’s guardian angel, Yunho can control nearly all aspects of Changmin’s life (like whether or not Changmin’ll be late to work or if he’ll burn his tongue while drinking coffee) but Yunho can’t really control who Changmin falls in and out of love with and as a result, his human goes through a few partners, male and female but remains unmarried.
On the three thousand, three hundredth and forty-eighth day of Changmin’s life, the younger man passes away. He was only thiry-two and as much as Yunho had tried to keep Changmin alive, a failing heart and liver is still too much for even an angel to work with.
- - -
Yunho tranfers back again to the mechanics department after that, not in a mood to do much of anything but ruin a thousand lives for what’s just happened to his loved one. It doesn’t quite matter that Changmin doesn’t even know him, much less like him, Yunho’s bent on revenge.
On a random day in the week when Yunho’s slouched over in the office, head on the desk in pure boredom, Jaejoong enters the main area and clears his throat.
“Guys, gather round, I’ve got a new angel to welcome to our department.”
Yunho lifts his head up listlessly, mouth open to complain and whine when he sees Shim Changmin standing right in front of him, the younger man, now angel, grinning as he looks right at him.
“His name is-”
“Changmin...”
Jaejoong snickers and walks away, leaving Yunho and Changmin to themselves.
“Hi,” Changmin says with a smile, “Junsu’s told me a lot about you.”
- - -
Junsu walks across Changmin and Yunho eating breakfast one morning, the two of them feeding each other and doing all sorts of lovey dovey, disgustingly in love things.
Eeteuk walks back, a smile on his face as he claps Junsu on the shoulder, “Job well done,” he tells Junsu, “took you a while, but job well done.”
Application for Angel Transfer
Name: Kim Junsu
Previous Occupation: Angel
Occupation wanted: Cupid
Cause of Death: Killed in a traffic accident
Reason for transfer: Personal
Other: N/A
- either completed or not due to time constraints and will not be working on them again, lol
Yunho-centric | pg-13
Junsu's not the best angel in terms of behavior and he's certainly not the most stylish (not when there's Jaejoong in his pink tops and black leather jackets) but he is the wealthiest one, after Changmin of course. That boy was born frugal, lived prudently and death hasn't changed him a bit. But whereas Changmin's rich because he saves up what money he makes or finds, Junsu is rich because of the diner he runs on behalf of God. It's called Heaven on Earth and albeit corny, it serves some of the best food around simply because it's run by a group of Angels. Cooks who know what they're doing and waitresses and waiters that fall under the category of eye candy and then some. Oh, and it also happens to be very popular, open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week because after all, as the place where all the dying go for their last meals, there's hardly ever a second of complete silence or rest.
Not everyone remembers their last meal, Junsu certainly doesn't but there's a file up in heaven that has it listed down to the glasses of water he had ordered (five) and the amount of ketchup he'd used in eating his fries (three squeezes and one pump). There's an angel assigned to every table, one per nearly expired human or "ex-human" as Junsu labels them and their task is simply to encourage and ensure that their ex-human enjoys their last meal to the fullest extent. They're not to be told they're dying or on have already died and whatever they want to eat, be it a fresh lobster dinner with warm butter or a big bowl of ramen, it's free and it's always delicious.
When the humans arrive, they're almost always bloodied up or dismembered but they can't tell for themselves. Some of them have slit wrists and some of their limbs are attached barely by the skin while others appear normal with just a single bullet hole to show for their cause of death. It's not nasty and it's not at all gory, it's death and as angels, they've seen it all. The ex-humans are only granted entrance into the diner in the moments immediately after their death, often during the time between dying and death. God has a few tricks up his sleeves or he wouldn't be God and the second after a human is killed by whatever circumstances, they're transported to the diner and in line for a seat that they're given nearly immediately.
Junsu's ex-human for today is one Jung Yunho. He's got tire marks all over his body and especially one across his face but even the black skid marks can't hide the sharp jaw and cheerful smile. Junsu leads him to a counter seat because Yunho had asked for one and instead of a menu, he's given a tall glass of iced coke to start off his meal.
"What'll it be, Yunho-sshi?" Junsu asks kindly, notepad in hand and pen tucked behind his ear, "whatever it is that you want to eat the most at this moment."
Yunho looks around for a little while, the bottom of his converses squeaking against the counter and shrugs, "I guess I'd like a turkey and mayo sandwich."
Junsu writes it down, nodding as he leans a little closer, "Is that all?"
"Um-," Yunho pauses, looking around the diner and then nods.
"It's on the diner, Yunho-sshi so whatever you order is free. Today is a special day."
Everyday in the diner is a special day but Yunho isn't going to know that seeing as how he isn't going to live past the hour.
"Oh!" the older man says in surprise, a slow smile spreading across his face.
Junsu leaves Yunho five full minutes later with turkey sandwich crossed out on his notepad and replaced by a simple meal of a bowl of white rice, soy sauce and one egg fried sunny-side up. It's probably the easiest meal that's ever been ordered before, considering how Changmin's table across from Yunho's just ordered an entire Thanksgiving meal. The food arrives minutes later and Junsu brings it back out for Yunho to eat, offering him chopsticks and a spoon as he takes a seat by Yunho.
"Is that really good?" he asks curiously,
Whatever the ex-humans order in the diner are not only just their favorite foods but the foods that they think taste the best or hold some sort of sentimental value. Jaejoong, for example, had ordered a large bowl of kimchi jjigae but barely finished half, the stew extra spicy because he asked for it that way. It was his favorite growing up, the only dish his mother made for him before she passed away when he was just eight. Maybe this white rice and runny egg with soy sauce holds some sort of special place in Yunho's heart too.
"Delicious," Yunho says with a smile, offering some up, "the best I've ever had."
Changmin's hanging about somewhere instead of tending to his ex-human and he laughs, "Hard to fuck up an egg and white rice."
Yunho looks up and just grins, adding a little more soy sauce to the bowl of rice and egg mashed up together, "Guess you're right. I don't know what it is about this, it's not that hard to make and it's not at all expensive but eating it just makes me feel like I'm home again."
Changmin doesn't say anything after that and walks off, leaving Junsu who nods in Yunho's direction, "It's your comfort food," he says in understanding.
Yunho finishes his meal in less than fifteen minutes and after offering Junsu a clumsy tip that the angel refuses, he's sent out the door on the far right. Changmin tosses him a piece of chocolate as he's leaving, waving as Yunho walks through the door and disappears. One minute later, Jung Yunho is officially pronounced dead in ER room 4 after eighteen minutes of failed resuscitation.
Homin | pg-13
They call themselves the Dead Balls Club. Originally they’d been called the Dead Sports Club but Jaejoong thought it misleading, considering how none of them actually play sports, at least anymore. It’s kind of hard to do so considering they’re all dead.
- - -
It started with Yoochun. He was fifteen when he first started caddying for his local Golf Club and nineteen when he was approached to do it as a full-time job by one of his dad’s friends. He did it for the pay, twenty an hour in cash plus any tips he got if his golfer happened to do well or win a match. For four years, he managed to feign enough interest in the sport to fool the pros but to be completely honest, golf is probably the most boring sport there is (that or curling, which Yoochun didn’t even know was a legitimate sport) and he used to daydream so much on the job that he’d nearly get hit in the fact if it weren’t for luck. Well, luck eventually runs out.
On January 10th, just a few days before the Lunar New Year, Park Yoochun’s killed by a golf club to the head, suffering from such severe brain hemorrhaging that he’d been declared dead just ten minutes after the accident.
He was club member #1.
The second to join was Junsu. Once considered one of the most promising and talented footballers in his age group, Junsu’s short and just a bit rounder than the other players. None of that mattered though, not when he was consistently the best scorer on the team, having earned player of the year nods from the league for three years running before his death. Speaking of which, his death was simultaneously declared the most tragic and most boring by Jaejoong and the others.
Junsu doesn’t remember much about it anymore, it’d happened quickly enough so that it’s all still kind of a blur, add on to that the fact that he’s got a really crappy memory and what results is a cause of death that changes depending on the time of day he’s asked about it.
When Yoochun first recruited him into the club, it was based purely on the fact that Junsu still had on his football uniform when they met. Shirt a little dirty with grass stains and shorts a bit too short, Yoochun couldn’t help but approach Junsu, especially when the first thing he’d seen of the younger man was his behind. Yoochun’s just always been an ass kind of guy.
After a little researching and a lot of wooing, Yoochun managed to find out that Junsu’d been killed in a freak accident involving a loose shoelace, a football and the goal stands (in that exact order, mind you). Yoochun conviently forgets to tell Junsu exactly how he’d died and to this day, the younger man still believes it had something to do with a spike to his face.
There’s not much that can be done with two members though and so from there, Yoochun worked hard in finding those that died from sports-related incidents, recruiting Jaejoong and then Yunho. Four members sounded just fine to him, especially since it’d taken nearly half a year to work up to this many of them. While cardiac-arrests (the suitably dubbed Dead Hearts Club) and cancer deaths (predictably called the Tumor Death Club) are a dime a dozen, sports-related deaths were rare enough to be put on the endangered death list.
- - -
It’s been two years since Yunho’s joined and they’ve basically ceased searching for anyone else to join. They don’t really do much in the club anyway, Yoochun arranges for a few movie dates and Jaejoong will constantly ask them out to eat or drink but that’s about it. It’s not until rumors of a new guy in town, a Shim Changmin, reaches them and piques their interest. Supposedly, the young man was killed in a racing incident, a rather horrific one involving his face and the pavement plus a set of tire marks. Not exactly a picture perfect death.
They find him wandering around the cafeteria, plastic tray in hand and in search of some food. Changmin ignores them like he’s been ignoring everyone else so far but when Yunho walks forward with a big plate of fried noodles in hand that smell decidedly like heaven, he finds it really hard to ignore.
“Come join our club,” Jaejoong blurts out as Changmin’s ravishing his plate of food. He chokes on a long strand of noodle and shakes his head, Yoochun kicking Jaejoong under the table for his lack of tact.
“What he means to say is, please join our club?”
“And why should I?”
Quid pro quo. If they want him to join their club, then what’s in it for him? They don’t seem to have an answer for him and after finishing his meal and thanking Yunho for it with a nod, Changmin leaves with a smile on his face, glad that he’s outwitted yet another Death Club.
Exactly five days after that, the Dead Balls Club holds a super top secret meeting so secret that only two out of the four members show up. Yoochun realizes he’s forgotten to pass his note onto Junsu and Jaejoong admits that he’s forgotten to tell Yunho the meeting time and place. Left up to their own devices, the duo of JaeChun decide to implement Project Seduce Shim Changmin (PSSS for short) because after all, what’s a better reason to join a club then sex?
They corner Yunho in the bathroom, the older man having just gotten out of a shower and tell him of their plans, demanding that he immediately start getting close to Changmin so that they can get together. Naturally, Yunho doesn’t agree, he doesn’t see why he has to when Yoochun’s got all the charms and Jaejoong the good looks (he conveniently leaves Junsu out of it), especially since it’s their idea and their ideas never turn out well.
“It’s because you’ve got the big cock,” Jaejoong explains patiently, patting Yunho on the head like he would to a small child, sounding as patronizing as he can.
Yoochun nods and adds on, “And because you’ve already got a connection with him! You gave him food and I heard he likes food.”
“Everyone likes food!” Yunho says in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air, towel falling off when Jaejoong grabs it and points at his cock.
Lord knows what he’s about to say because he doesn’t get the chance to say it. Changmin enters at that exact moment, a towel in hand to use the shower and winds up gaping a bit at the sight he sees. Clearing his throat awkwardly, eyes kind of glued to Yunho’s private parts, Changmin backs out and turns around, face a bit red as he heads off to the other bathroom. There’s got to be another one.
Yunho’s mortified to the point of wanting to crawl into the bathroom and never come out again, and it isn’t until Jaejoong claps him on the back and declares it a done deal that he starts to shudder.
“If you do this, I won’t tell everyone that you caught a fly ball with your face and that that’s how you died!”
“But that’s how you died, not me.”
“Yoochun will back me up! People will believe me.”
And like in everything else that Jaejoong manages to manipulate people into doing, Yunho finds himself sitting in a table alone with a very unreceptive Changmin, cursing the Gods for having Kim Jaejoong as his best friend.
“Is there a reason I’m here?” Changmin asks after nearly fifteen minutes of silence, tapping his fingers against the table.
Yunho nods and then shakes his head and nods again, absolutely at a loss for words.
The “date” ends with Changmin leaving after another halfhearted attempt at talking, Yunho getting knocked in the head by Jaejoong who keeps asking why he didn’t just smooch him. They decide that maybe Yunho’s not cut out for wooing after all and that’s fine, Yoochun’ll just have to woo from behind the scenes for Yunho.
Attempt #2 starts out with a half-naked Yunho, always a good thing and a bowl of jjigae, again a very good thing. Changmin walks into his bedroom to find Yunho standing there with a bow on his head and a bowl of food in his hands, face red and cock kind of awkwardly soft. Attempt #2 ends with Changmin giving Yunho a pair of shorts before kicking him out, jjigae eaten and bowl licked clean.
So maybe naked + food isn’t the way to go. Junsu tells them to try attacking Changmin from another point, the three of them setting up a situation in which Changmin falls (Yoochun trips him, how clever) and Yunho’s there to catch him (still naked, except this time from the waist up). Doesn’t work. Changmin ends up kicking Jaejoong’s ass and nearly killing Yoochun, Yunho watching miserably from the side with a t-shirt that Changmin’s given him.
Again and again they keep trying and they keep failing. Yunho’s naked more than half the time and while Changmin never complains, he starts to just walk around with an extra set of clothes on hand. Half a year after they first begin trying, Yunho finds himself in a tiny predicament: he’s kind of in love with someone who kind of hates his guts.
When he tells the others, Junsu laughs and Yoochun looks bewildered, Jaejoong the one that takes him aside for a talk that lasts nearly a full hour. The conclusion they reach is that the attempts have to stop and they do.
- - -
It’s been three weeks without an random attack and Changmin’s starting to get worried. At first he was paranoid they’d jump him while he was in the shower (it’s been done twice now) and then he started to think that they were giving up on him but now that it really seems like they’ve stopped trying, Changmin misses them. As much as he hates to admit it, he kind of likes the attention, not to mention that he’s also got a tiny crush on Yunho as well.
One day while he’s sitting in the cafeteria eating alone, Yunho shows up and sits down next to him, the two of them eating side by side in complete silence. It isn’t until after the meal that Yunho starts to talk.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, “about all the attacks. The guys have decided to stop so we won’t be bothering you anymore.” Yunho laughs oddly, “Guess this means you won’t have to see me all over the place.”
Changmin’s heart drops a little and he nods, poking at his rice, “Yeah, guess so...”
Yunho looks over at Changmin, sneaking a peek when he doesn’t think the younger man is looking and shrugs, “I got you something as an apology.” He hands over a cupcake he’d made himself, vanilla with chocolate icing with a pathetic race car looking blob sitting on top of it. “For you.”
Changmin looks at the blob and does something that Yunho’s never seen the younger man do, Changmin smiles.
“I actually got beamed in the head with a frisbee,” Changmin says with a laugh, “my neighbors were having a game of ultimate fribee and they hit me right in the neck, knocked me out and I fell down my front porch and died. Pretty boring.”
Yunho grins when Changmin scooches just a little closer, the space between them now just wide enough for Yunho’s hand to lace with Changmin’s, “Yeah? Well, I choked on a chess piece that my sister accidentally baked into the lasagna one night, it was a queen I believe? Or maybe a knight, I don’t know, it was pointy enough that it got stuck in my airway. I was dead before the ambulance even got to my house.”
Changmin smiles and Yunho leans in, Jaejoong watching from a distance with a proud smile on his face. They’re a match made in Heaven, no doubt about it.
Homin | pg-13
Application for Angel Transfer
Name: Jung Yunho
Previous Occupation: Guardian Angel
Occupation wanted: Angel Mechanic
Cause of Death: Killed by a falling iphone while crossing the street
Reason for transfer: Personal
Other: N/A
This is the first application that Jaejoong’s received since being promoted to the head angel position of the mechanics division and while he’s not surprised that Yunho would want a break from being a guardian angel, he is surprised that the younger man wants a job in his department.
Yunho’s situation is widely known through all of the Heaven . The older man is one of the best guardian angels and ever since his death, he’s been outstanding in every thing he did, sometimes given humans of such importance (hello, how did you think Barack Obama become President Obama?) that even the higher-ups are astounded at the level of success Yunho has had. Every angel has a bad day, some even have a bad year and Yunho had a horrid week. To cut a long story short, Yunho had accidentally led his human through the wrong exit of a highway and as a result, a twenty-three year old was killed in a tragic traffic accident.
Taking into consideration all that’s happened, Jaejoong realizes that he doesn’t get much of a choice in this matter, seeing as how the application arrived this morning by special delivery with the words ACCEPTED already stamped across the paper. Looks like the mechanics department is going to be welcoming in another angel very soon.
Out of all the departments in Heaven, mechanics is probably one of the easiest ones to be in. There’s really not much to do and there’s very little chance of fucking anything up, which is why Jaejoong supposes he was put in charge of the department in the first place. He’s had quite the record of screwing things (and people) over, although in his defense, he totally never meant to do it. (Except for in that case with the divorce judge that loved peeping over male toilet stalls. Jaejoong totally fried his ass and in return, he was royally fucked over when he fell in love with said judge and was forced to marry him after he got all weepy during sex.)
- - -
Yunho’s been somewhat reticent since the accident and he’s barely spoken a word to anyone, murmuring quietly when taken in to see God and nodding his head when asked if he was doing okay. What’s he supposed to say anyway? He killed a guy and now Junsu’s in Heaven baking cookies (in the shape of angels and devils, of course) when he should be living as well. The biggest problem in Heaven is that mistakes are made everyday but there’s no do-over, no magical button that’ll allow the angels to erase all the harm they’ve just done. What kind of a Heaven is that?
He supposes he’s had an epiphany. He used to think that Heaven was the best, that everyone up here was cheerful and lovely and that even the worst of the screw-ups were deserving of a second chance. Now he knows better. It’s one chance and that’s all anyone should ever get.
His first day on the job is a bore. Jaejoong shows him around the office, introducing him to three other colleagues and describes to him what his job is going to entail. It really isn’t hard and halfway through Jaejoong’s long, long speech about how important mechanics really is, Yunho’s already thinking about what to order for lunch. Thankfully, his co-worker saves him from further misery by making out with Jaejoong.
“I’ll have you know that deciding whether or not a car needs a flat tire or if it needs a broken-”
Jaejoong’s cut short when there’s suddenly a tongue in his mouth and after a halfhearted attempt at pushing away Yoochun, he just gives in and they stumble off to his office, door locking magically and blinds closing as well.
Seeing as how his boss and co-worker are currently otherwise occupied (seems like Yoochun’s enjoying himself quite a lot by the sounds of it), Yunho flips over his mechanics handbook and goes over the hand movements a few times by himself. Yunho had known that this would be an easy job, hence him requesting his transfer but it’s bordering on mindless.
Many don’t see the point in having a mechanics department and Yunho would agree. A typical day on the job involves flying down to Earth and scouting the highways and freeways. Jaejoong tells him that he’s better off sticking with the long routes that span across the country, it’s basically a free-for-all then and all he has to do is pick and choose his victims.
Humans seem to believe that angels are all nice and sweet and proper but that’s just not the case. Angels are just as capable of screwing around as the devils are and the department of mechanics is a prime example of that because all they’re required to do is: pick a victim and fuck up their cars.
Ever wonder why your car runs a flat when you’re fifty miles away from the next exit on a highway and in an area where your cell has zero reception? That’s Yoochun. Ever run over a skunk and have it stick to your windshield? Smell lingering for so many days that you wind up giving it a tomato bath every six hours? That’ll be Heechul. Finally, ever wonder how it is that your car is completely full of gas when you drive past a gas station only to discover fifteen minutes later that you’re running on a nearly empty tank? And no matter how hard you try to drive back to the same gas station, you just end up going in circles and your car stalls in the middle of an abandoned road? Yep, that’s Jaejoong.
And that’s what the mechanics in heaven are in charge of doing.
- - -
Yunho’s first week on the job runs smoothly. He cracks a few windshields, overheats an engine and kills the air conditioning on a charter bus, something Heechul claps him on the back for. His second week, Jaejoong promotes him to dealing with locomotives as well, leaving him to grease the tracks of the trains or derail them and cause accidents. All in all, his days pass by blandly but he does enjoy the company of his fellow angels, except he could do without the afternoon sexing that Jaejoong and Yoochun inevitably have.
It’s really not until Yunho’s six month on the job that he starts to like it. While boring, the job is oddly therapeutic. On days when he’s feeling bad or moody, he can take it out on all unsuspecting humans, causing them to lose their keys or lock themselves out of the car and if he’s feeling nice at all, he can knock an hour off their traveling time.
- - -
In the fall, Jaejoong decides to take a trip. When angels take trips, it’s usually to the hot springs down in Hell or it’s to the ski slopes in the Northern region of Heaven. Yoochun decides he wants to ski and Jaejoong wants to soak, so they compromise : a week of each. That’s a total of two weeks in which Yunho and Heechul will be left up to their own devices and since the mechanic department gets the least money in terms of budget, there’s really no substitute head angel sent their way. Instead, Jaejoong leaves Heechul in charge with Yunho serving as the back-up leader, his reasoning being that Heechul’s got seniority over Yunho (and he was bribed with a pack of smokes, the real kind and some vodka, also the real kind.)
When Yunho shows up for work the first day after Jaejoong and Yoochun are gone, he finds an empty office with a note on his desk from Heechul saying that he’s going to take a sick week, basically leaving everything up to him. For the first time in nearly a year, Yunho experiences what it’s like to actually have to work.
It’s a hectic day. He makes a few trips around the globe, making sure to visit all his local haunts to wreck some havoc. Yunho’s been at the job long enough to develop his own trademark and it’s simple, all he does is kill the air conditioning in the hottest parts of the globe (aka Malaysia) and then kill the heating in the coldest parts (aka Canada because no one really lives in Antarctica).
On a daily basis, Yunho will get cussed at and of course there are the imaginative minds that dream of killing him or hurting him, but on this particular Thursday, after causing the cooling fluid to back-up and ruin the AC of a tiny little car, he gets a crier. A handsome, long-legged and partially naked, crier.
“Fucking hell! What the fuck is this? I just got this checked at the Jiffy Lube two exits ago! Fucking-” the young man curses some more, kicking his wheels hard and Yunho really wishes he wouldn’t do that because then the car deflates, one of the tires going flat with a horrible sounding gush. “Oh great! Just what I need. AC that doesn’t work and a flat tire. Awesome, just awesome. What’s next? My rear window falls out?”
Yunho grins and complies, flicking his wrist and watching with glee as the left rear view window falls with a clunk. His hectic and generally crappy day suddenly just got a whole lot more entertaining.
“What the-” the younger man who looks a lot like someone who’d be a model, gingerally walks over to pick up the car part that’s supposed to be attached to his car but just fell of, and rather cleanly at that too. He promptly freaks out, chucking it far across the highway and staring at the car like it’s possessed, which might actually be an easier option than believing there’s an angel floatign over his shoulder screwing with him.
Yunho watches as his human whips out his phone to dial for help, the call not going through of course because they’re in one of those dead spots on the highway with no reception.
“WHY DO I PAY FOR 3G NETWORK WHEN THERE’S NO NETWORKING TO BE FOUND?”
Whining. Check.
Crying. Annnnnd check.
Collapsing onto the floor to throw a mini-trantrum. Check.
Digging through the car for food, water and something to sit on. Check.
Yunho’s starting to get bored and he’s about ready to fly off when he hears a muffled sob and turns back, eyes widening a bit to see the young man with his head bowed and knees pulled up to his chest. Sure, he’d been crying earlier but that was purely out of frustration, now he’s crying because of something else.
Taking a few steps around the human, Yunho peers into the car to see an urn and feels his heart give a pathetic little drop as he reads the name etched into the ceramic, Kim Junsu. Of course. Of all the people he could pick on, Yunho’s picked on Junsu’s ex-lover and now he’s feeling guilty as fuck about it-
“He’s not my lover...” Junsu’s voice comes at him from the side.
Yunho veers around sharply to see his ex-human sitting indian style on the hood of the car, a protable fan in his hand as he cools himself down.
“Changmin’s my best friend. Or well, he was my best friend.”
Even better. Yunho drops his head and staggers over to where Junsu’s sitting, pouting a little to himself as he leans against the hot metal.
“He’s kind of an ass most of the time but if you get past the whole ‘I want to kill you’ thing, Changminnie is actually a sweetheart. He’s the only one who showed up at my funeral besides my parents and he was the one that made sure my kitty didn’t lick all of my remains away when the urn crashed during an earthquake.”
Junsu keeps talking and telling him little tidbits about Changmin’s life, things that Yunho doesn’t really want to know about but can’t resist hearing. He learns about the time Changmin had nearly fallen off a tree in his childhood because he was busy rescusing Junsu who’d gotten stuck and then he’s told about how Changmin kissed a guy the first day of high school just to take the attention off of a kid who was being ridculed for peeing his pants.
“Sounds like an angel,” Yunho says quietly, Changmin still off on the side, stroking the urn rather creepily.
Junsu laughs at that and shakes his head, “If you knew him, you’d say other wise. I said he was nice and sweet at times. Now let me tell you about what he’s like at other times...”
By nightfall, Junsu’s told Yunho his best friend’s entire life story, right down to how Changmin had been such a sore loser after an entire afternoon of losses in Mario Kart that he’d refused to pay for rent for two months.
“And whenever I cook him food, he always tells me it’s horrible but eats it all. Like once, I made him kimchi jjigae and he said it was too salty but when I came out after my shower, he’d finished it. Said he added water and that it wasn’t too bad after that. You know, I don’t think he’s ever given me an actual compliment to my face...”
Yunho smiles and offers Junsu half a sandwich, the two of them chatting until sunrise, stopping only when Junsu finally gets off the car. “I have an appointment,” Junsu mumbles, looking at his watch, “I’ve just transferred to a new department myself and I have a meeting to report back to! I’ll see you around, Yunho-hyung.”
A puff of smoke later and Junsu’s gone, vanished into thin air and Yunho figures that this was probably Junsu’s way of saying he forgave him a long time ago for basically ruining his life. Yunho hops off the car as well, Changmin lying in the backseat, his arm curled around the urn. That’s really just weird and Yunho makes a face, fixing the car with a snap of his fingers.
There, now Changmin can go on his year long journey with Junsu’s ashes. Whatever floats his boat.
- - -
Three months later, Yunho bumps into Changmin again except this time, it’s after Heechul’s done his skunk number on him. It’s kind of hard for another angel to fix what’s already been done and so Yunho just sits with Changmin as the younger man attempts to spray away the smell with a Febreeze he’s just bought from the convenience store down the road. Of course it doesn’t work. Yunho’s also there for when Changmin dumps a whole lot of tomato sauce (canned and jarred) on his hood but that doesn’t work either. It takes a little effort but eventually Jaejoong orders (code for begs) Heechul to undo his skunking and Changmin’s on his way again to somewhere.
After a while, Yunho just decides to stick with Changmin. The younger man gets into so many accidents (some that were caused by other angels and some just natural) and he’s kind of entertaining to be around. Honestly, Yunho thinks that Changmin might be better at soliloquies than Shakespeare himself. Has anyone ever heard Shakespeare hold a conversation with himself while eating McDonald’s from a cardboard box? No, but Shim Changmin can do it and in three different voices with facial expressions to match.
Half a year after he’s first met Changmin, Yunho’s got to admit that he’s smitten. It’s so many levels of what-the-fuckery because angels aren’t supposed to fall for humans, especially not ones that are still alive but Yunho can’t help it. It’s rather cute the way Changmin wakes up in the morning with his hair in a million different directions, eyes still partially closed because he’s too sleepy to open them all the way. And it’s so endearing to see Changmin tuck Junsu’s urn to sleep every night (“I still think it’s creepy,” Jaejoong tells him daily).
So after a short meeting with Jaejoong, Yunho decides to apply for another transfer, this time requesting specifically that he be Shim Changmin’s guardian angel. He’s approved within the week.
- - -
For nine years and sixty-three days, Yunho watches over Changmin. He ensures that the younger man gets a good job, a nice girlfriend and a happy life. As Changmin’s guardian angel, Yunho can control nearly all aspects of Changmin’s life (like whether or not Changmin’ll be late to work or if he’ll burn his tongue while drinking coffee) but Yunho can’t really control who Changmin falls in and out of love with and as a result, his human goes through a few partners, male and female but remains unmarried.
On the three thousand, three hundredth and forty-eighth day of Changmin’s life, the younger man passes away. He was only thiry-two and as much as Yunho had tried to keep Changmin alive, a failing heart and liver is still too much for even an angel to work with.
- - -
Yunho tranfers back again to the mechanics department after that, not in a mood to do much of anything but ruin a thousand lives for what’s just happened to his loved one. It doesn’t quite matter that Changmin doesn’t even know him, much less like him, Yunho’s bent on revenge.
On a random day in the week when Yunho’s slouched over in the office, head on the desk in pure boredom, Jaejoong enters the main area and clears his throat.
“Guys, gather round, I’ve got a new angel to welcome to our department.”
Yunho lifts his head up listlessly, mouth open to complain and whine when he sees Shim Changmin standing right in front of him, the younger man, now angel, grinning as he looks right at him.
“His name is-”
“Changmin...”
Jaejoong snickers and walks away, leaving Yunho and Changmin to themselves.
“Hi,” Changmin says with a smile, “Junsu’s told me a lot about you.”
- - -
Junsu walks across Changmin and Yunho eating breakfast one morning, the two of them feeding each other and doing all sorts of lovey dovey, disgustingly in love things.
Eeteuk walks back, a smile on his face as he claps Junsu on the shoulder, “Job well done,” he tells Junsu, “took you a while, but job well done.”
Application for Angel Transfer
Name: Kim Junsu
Previous Occupation: Angel
Occupation wanted: Cupid
Cause of Death: Killed in a traffic accident
Reason for transfer: Personal
Other: N/A