Ficlet Special: Epilogue
So I finally found a place to put this. This is a short story following the events in 'The Number 23'. It contains references to spoilers, just to warn.
I didn't want to bring it up. After so much work and such a long time working towards normality, this seemed like moving backwards somehow. But after we'd talked about how Robin was liking his classes, and how her orders were coming along and how her friends were doing- there just wasn't anything else to talk about.
"...I'm seeing it again."
She knew exactly what I was saying, even though I hadn't said it. Her face crumpled with worry, and with disappointment. "Oh, Walter..." Her hands found mine and curled around them. "Have you been taking your medicine, sweetheart?" The question was cautious, as if she were worried I'd be angry. Of course I wasn't angry, I had brought it up.
But I wasn't going to answer the question, either. I looked down at the table, at the sleeve of my uniform. "It makes me feel like a zombie, Ag."
She pulled my hand up and rolled it in hers. She knew that was the way to get me to look up. And I did, and saw her eyes. Bright, twinkling blue.
....they were shortly pulled back down by the pink sleeves of her dress. Pink. She knew I didn't like that color, and she knew why.
"Walter, look at me." Her voice was a mixture of concern and annoyance. She'd noticed it, too. I looked up again. "You have to take it. I'm sorry it makes you foggy, but it honestly does help. You know that." I nodded, admitting defeat. "Just take it like they're telling you to, okay? You're going to be out soon, and then I can help you with it. Okay?"
"I don't like this psychologist," I said, and thinking back on it, I'm not sure why I said it quite like that. "He's having me take way too much of this stuff. I don't think it's good for me."
She took awhile to answer that one, pulling back her hand and thinking. She fixed me with those eyes again and spoke very carefully. I could tell she was being patient with me. It still surprises me to this day how very patient she could be. "It's only for a little longer, Walter, and then we can find another doctor." Her voice dropped to about half the volume, and I realized she was a moment from pleading with me. "Come on, honey. This is government mandated. We want you to come home soon. Robin misses you....I miss you."
Something crumbled inside me and I squeezed my eyes shut. "I miss you too, Ag. I'm sorry. I'll take the medicine. Promise."
My hair was short again. It wasn't something I noticed unless Agatha was touching it, as she did then. She smiled at me, and even if the world were ending, that would make me feel better. "I'm so proud of you, Walter-" I started to shake my head, and even though it was done with a smile of my own, she protested. "-no, really. I am. You have worked so, so hard, when most people would've just...given up." I could see the tears forming in her eyes as much as I could see the determination not to cry in them. I have to admit, I teared up a little, too. "Robin is proud of you, too. Things will be wonderful when you come back to us."
I couldn't seem to find words, so I just nodded. She put her hands on mine again- they were natural there. They fit. And we just looked at each other for a long while.
Eventually I broke the silence. It was something I'd been meaning to say for a long time, but hadn't quite been able to. "I don't think I'm going back to Animal Control, Agatha." I ducked my head. "I appreciate that they're going to have me back, but I don't think- it's not the life for me anymore. And of course I'll think about it again, see if that's the way I really feel about it. This isn't set or anything yet, I just-" I looked up again and focused on her eyes. There were two ways she could take this. "I want to be a writer."
Agatha always did know know to surprise me. Her reaction was a combination of both. She frowned for a few seconds, then laughed. "Well, we already know you're good. But- honey- do you think that's the best idea? You've had- ...well, I don't have to say you've had problems with that."
I found my confidence again somehow, and I smiled at her. "You keep me grounded, Agatha. You don't- don't even have to do anything. You just have to be there." I nodded, sure of myself. "I'll be fine."
That seemed to be enough. She had to lean over the cold fake wood of the table in order to reach me, but she did. We kissed, and no matter how short our visits were, or how little they allowed at them, those kisses always seemed to last eternity. "I love you," I said, when it was over.
"And I love you. So, so much." She stared at me for a long time, then her glance moved to the clock.
"Time to go, isn't it?" I asked, my face showing tired acceptance. It was a lot harder the first few times, when it didn't seem like I would ever see her again.
"Yep. Sorry. But I'll be back next week." She pecked me on the cheek as she stood up. "Hang in there, sweetheart. You're almost done."
I just nodded as I watched her disappear from view. We agreed the third time that neither of us could handle saying goodbye, so we didn't do that anymore. But I always watched her leave. I was still until the click of her heels on the floor faded to nothingness. I didn't even count them today.
As I got up from the table, my hands brushed past a rough spot on the surface. I looked down and saw that something was carved into the side of the table. A number.
I took my pills that night.
I didn't want to bring it up. After so much work and such a long time working towards normality, this seemed like moving backwards somehow. But after we'd talked about how Robin was liking his classes, and how her orders were coming along and how her friends were doing- there just wasn't anything else to talk about.
"...I'm seeing it again."
She knew exactly what I was saying, even though I hadn't said it. Her face crumpled with worry, and with disappointment. "Oh, Walter..." Her hands found mine and curled around them. "Have you been taking your medicine, sweetheart?" The question was cautious, as if she were worried I'd be angry. Of course I wasn't angry, I had brought it up.
But I wasn't going to answer the question, either. I looked down at the table, at the sleeve of my uniform. "It makes me feel like a zombie, Ag."
She pulled my hand up and rolled it in hers. She knew that was the way to get me to look up. And I did, and saw her eyes. Bright, twinkling blue.
....they were shortly pulled back down by the pink sleeves of her dress. Pink. She knew I didn't like that color, and she knew why.
"Walter, look at me." Her voice was a mixture of concern and annoyance. She'd noticed it, too. I looked up again. "You have to take it. I'm sorry it makes you foggy, but it honestly does help. You know that." I nodded, admitting defeat. "Just take it like they're telling you to, okay? You're going to be out soon, and then I can help you with it. Okay?"
"I don't like this psychologist," I said, and thinking back on it, I'm not sure why I said it quite like that. "He's having me take way too much of this stuff. I don't think it's good for me."
She took awhile to answer that one, pulling back her hand and thinking. She fixed me with those eyes again and spoke very carefully. I could tell she was being patient with me. It still surprises me to this day how very patient she could be. "It's only for a little longer, Walter, and then we can find another doctor." Her voice dropped to about half the volume, and I realized she was a moment from pleading with me. "Come on, honey. This is government mandated. We want you to come home soon. Robin misses you....I miss you."
Something crumbled inside me and I squeezed my eyes shut. "I miss you too, Ag. I'm sorry. I'll take the medicine. Promise."
My hair was short again. It wasn't something I noticed unless Agatha was touching it, as she did then. She smiled at me, and even if the world were ending, that would make me feel better. "I'm so proud of you, Walter-" I started to shake my head, and even though it was done with a smile of my own, she protested. "-no, really. I am. You have worked so, so hard, when most people would've just...given up." I could see the tears forming in her eyes as much as I could see the determination not to cry in them. I have to admit, I teared up a little, too. "Robin is proud of you, too. Things will be wonderful when you come back to us."
I couldn't seem to find words, so I just nodded. She put her hands on mine again- they were natural there. They fit. And we just looked at each other for a long while.
Eventually I broke the silence. It was something I'd been meaning to say for a long time, but hadn't quite been able to. "I don't think I'm going back to Animal Control, Agatha." I ducked my head. "I appreciate that they're going to have me back, but I don't think- it's not the life for me anymore. And of course I'll think about it again, see if that's the way I really feel about it. This isn't set or anything yet, I just-" I looked up again and focused on her eyes. There were two ways she could take this. "I want to be a writer."
Agatha always did know know to surprise me. Her reaction was a combination of both. She frowned for a few seconds, then laughed. "Well, we already know you're good. But- honey- do you think that's the best idea? You've had- ...well, I don't have to say you've had problems with that."
I found my confidence again somehow, and I smiled at her. "You keep me grounded, Agatha. You don't- don't even have to do anything. You just have to be there." I nodded, sure of myself. "I'll be fine."
That seemed to be enough. She had to lean over the cold fake wood of the table in order to reach me, but she did. We kissed, and no matter how short our visits were, or how little they allowed at them, those kisses always seemed to last eternity. "I love you," I said, when it was over.
"And I love you. So, so much." She stared at me for a long time, then her glance moved to the clock.
"Time to go, isn't it?" I asked, my face showing tired acceptance. It was a lot harder the first few times, when it didn't seem like I would ever see her again.
"Yep. Sorry. But I'll be back next week." She pecked me on the cheek as she stood up. "Hang in there, sweetheart. You're almost done."
I just nodded as I watched her disappear from view. We agreed the third time that neither of us could handle saying goodbye, so we didn't do that anymore. But I always watched her leave. I was still until the click of her heels on the floor faded to nothingness. I didn't even count them today.
As I got up from the table, my hands brushed past a rough spot on the surface. I looked down and saw that something was carved into the side of the table. A number.
I took my pills that night.