Somewhere Under a Heap of Kitschy Figurines, The Estate in Sidra, Sunday Fandom Time

[apocalipped]

For the record, Jono adored kids. He really did. Even when he had to put up with a small pack of the little beasts for four solid days thanks to the time difference between Fandom Island and Kaeleer, he adored them. Even after four days of running laps around a bloody mansion, four days of trying to pick up on second languages he couldn't even

Comments

[blondecanary]

There was giggling from under the table from someone sugar-hyped. Wearing armor.

Shush. It was too armor.



"The prisoner will be restrained!"

[apocalipped]

"I think," Jono noted, attempting to wriggle a hand and wincing at the sound of a figurine going thump against the floor, "that's pretty thoroughly been taken care of already, Sergeant Sunbeam."

[blondecanary]

Dinah liked that name. It was tough but pretty. "If you break too many, then we have to start over, prisoner. Unless you confess and tell us where the rest of the cookies are!"

Of course he'd hidden cookies, he was a grown-up.

[apocalipped]

"They're locked away in the pantry," Jono replied, praying to whatever deity-like force the Darkness was supposed to be that this was only a weekend-long thing back on the island. "Protected by the most fearsome guardian Kaeleer has to offer."

Because really, had the kids met Cook? She let Jono in to make steak and potatoes on occasion because he'd proven that he could actually operate a stove without burning the building down, but there was a very finite list of people who got to do that much, and the tiny children were very firmly not on it at the moment.

[blondecanary]

"How do we get past the fearsome guardian?" Dinah crawled out from under the table to hug Jono's knees. Jono was so fun. Even if he was acting a lot more tired now. "Tell the secret password!"

Dinah had in fact met Cook. And Cook had met Dinah. And then there had been turning around and being marched out very firmly. This may have precipitated the soldier game.

[apocalipped]

Oh, tiny Dinah. Even Jono could barely resist the persuasive force of a hug around the knees.

Barely.

"I'll take the secret password with me straight to my grave," he swore solemnly. Though the password was fairly obvious. Cook was an adult. The password for cookie handouts was 'please.' "Though there might be a way to get cookies regardless... but it takes patience, perseverance, and a strong constitution in the face of a plate of greens."

Yep. Dessert. But only after cleaning your dinner plate.

[blondecanary]

Dinah made a face. "Veggies. Bleah! Hmmmmm. I thought the constitution was a law?" She started piling the figurines on him again, very carefully putting one lop-eared rabbit next to a dog, next to a pony, next to a ... well, Dinah wasn't sure what that was supposed to be, but clearly, it could hold Jono's shoulders in place. "How many veggies? Three?"

[apocalipped]

"It is law," Jono countered, because even if he was being buried under bunnies, horses, and... he actually didn't want to know what that other thing was, he could still think quickly when dealing with small children. "And the law says you need to eat your vegetables before dessert."

It was quite the law. The law he'd just made up.

"At least three. Possibly even four."

[blondecanary]

"When I'm a grown-up I'm going to break the law and eat dessert first... Four?" So many, Jono? Hmmm. "Four bites or four different ones?" Muahaha, she could be crafty! "Aunt Pam only makes me eat three bites." Really. No, really. NO REALLY LOOK AT THIS FACE.

[apocalipped]

JONO WAS NOT STUPID ENOUGH TO TRUST THAT FACE, DINAH.

"Well, it's not Aunt Pam's kitchen or Aunt Pam's constitution," Jono pointed out, sounding completely reasonable. "It's four whole vegetables. We clean our plate here before getting dessert, you know."

[blondecanary]

Pouting, so much pouting and moping and putting her head down on Jono's knees. "That's so many... Can I put butter on them? And bacon bits? And sour cream?" In other words, nearly hide everything under every sauce imaginable before she scarfed them down? "Did you eat your veggies when you were my age Jono? Really? Honestly?"

[apocalipped]

"Of course I ate my veggies," Jono lied. "How else do you think I grew up to be this big and strong?"

Besides bad luck and mad cultists.

"But you can put butter on them, of course. And bacon bits. Who am I to say no to bacon bits? I'm sure there's probably cheese that'll go well on them, too."

Kids liked cheese, right?

[blondecanary]

"CHEESE." Dinah sure did. Nom nom nom nom nom. "Okay. I guess, I can manage. Mostly." She gave Jono a dubious look. "It takes too long to grow up. There should be magic for that."

The irony of that would hit her sometime in the next day or two, when she was actually 5'11" again.

"But you're still a prisoner," just in case that wasn't clear from that headless fox pinning down your knee, Jono.

[apocalipped]

That fox would join Yllestad and Neverland in Jono's nightmares until the end of time.

"Still? And when do I get to go free, Sergeant?"

[blondecanary]

Dinah would be happy to smash that nightmare for you, Jono! Just give her an excuse!

"Hmmmmmm." If cookies were off the table, then... "Oh oh oh sing! Sing something good and the animals will fall asleep and you can escape!"

[apocalipped]

"Something good, hm?"

Jono had no idea what a small child's idea of 'something good' was.

"Any suggestions?"

His voice wasn't what it used to be (and it was so much better than what it had been before that), but to humour his captor, he was willing to give it a go.