Life's constants: Lindsay will go home before me.
YESTERDAY: Did not gym because my Achilles tendon was being aptly-named. Put on ankle support, finally rewrote my outline, dragged my boyfriend into London under the threat of going to see an exhibition about Robots in history at the Science Museum; arrived to find it was half term and that the queue to get into the Science Museum was very much nope-inducing even to those appropriately loaded on bubble tea (or bubble coffee in my case). So we walked up to the Albert Memorial (https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1bpzjw_0/?taken-by=derekdesanges), and I started on a lengthy rant about the history of British Imperialism and Lindsay chimed in with some stuff about Gibbons, and eventually we wandered into the Geographers' gallery where I'd somehow hoped they'd still be doing their exhibition of "The Unexplored Quarter" (photography from the Arabian peninsula) and they weren't, it was a lot of annoying and uninspiring art, but we looked at it all anyway, and by the time we got back down to the Science Museum the queue was managable again...
... And then they didn't have tickets available for the Robots until 4.30pm, and Lindsay "didn't want to stay out that late" (COME THE FUCK ON), was unenthused by my suggestion that we get late lunch after the tickets and then come back feeling reinvigorated, and eventually settled for looking at the Mathematics and Aviation galleries (typically quite empty, although not so empty as the Agriculture and Shipping galleries which were so barren they were removed and replaced with communications and information); Mathematics has changed (https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1r_VDIjS/?taken-by=derekdesanges // https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1yfGD6tv/?taken-by=derekdesanges) and while I can see that the current practical and application-based approach (which is a trifle nihilistic in places https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1JB2jUrF/?taken-by=derekdesanges) is more engaging and likely to draw in visitors and impress upon them the importance of mathematics, I miss the dusty old dim hall full of wire constructs of impossible shapes and Babbage's brain in a jar tucked away in a corner minding its own business. Aviation has not changed: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk2D40D0th/?taken-by=derekdesanges and the 1944 airman there is a definite Style Goal.
Unfortunately the entire MASSIVE HANGAR FULL OF LOUD CHILDREN AND HANGING PLANES AND TOO MUCH INFORMATION AND NOISE did a number on me head and I had to go and sit down and try to deal with the ongoing problem ("continual guilt/panic/anger about the relevance of what I am doing or reading or trying to learn at any given moment, with added panic about how much I will retain or understand") compounded by additional problem ("i am literally only intelligent enough to know how little I know and will ever know") and some angry stomping about how if I'd fucking pursued my earlier passing interest in non-linear mathematics, fluid dynamics, and modelling of turbulent systems as a ten-year-old I bloody well WOULD have understood it and might even have been able to DO something with my blasted fucking life.
On standing up I found I was dizzy and losing my balance so I found Lindsay and ate a packet of MEN'S POCKY Jess bought me the day before, while walking through the information and communications gallery and trying not to get distracted from telling a joke by the desire to yell about wavelength perception and FAILING AT THIS. [Interdisciplinary academic study seems to be coming more and more popular - the talk I went to about ww1 archaeology in Syria was the product of the cooperation between several different specialities, for example, and architecture in particular has always covered about a bajillion things - and I am very very interested in the ways in which different focuses can cover the same "thing" or area or event or whatever in a multitude of ways something something an object is also an event in time and evolutionary pressures are present when we decide what makes a building look beautiful because our preference for symmetry derives in part from an evolutionary preference for symmetrical-ish bodies supposed to be evidence of healthy/strong genes ETC, but this is even worse than wanting learn ONE thing. I want to know ALL THE THING and how the thing RELATE to all the other thing].
We went and bought astronaut ice cream and ate it outside:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk6g7hDCbN/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Then we had afternoon tea at Tombo and I tried to unclog my brain:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk9qBTjKWH/?taken-by=derekdesanges
And ended up having to go on a mission for paracetamol and water because my entire face hurt.
Lindsay and I parted ways because he was being... not obstructive exactly but gently uncooperative/cheerfully ... hrm. Evincing an interest in continuing whatever "I" wanted to do but making it clear at the same time that this would be an imposition. So I told him to go home, and went to the RA:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlKI-SDiEE/?taken-by=derekdesanges
In order to have a nice self-indulgent anxiety attack in the bathroom.
Went to F&M on my way back towards Piccadilly:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlMJMdDjJI/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Wasn't intending to buy anything but found A CHELSEA BUN and haven't had one in DECADES
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlMOLyj7Oz/?taken-by=derekdesanges
After firmly plopping myself down in Waterstones basement to read more of my book (And being accidentally dragged into a conversation by a very beautiful man who wanted the help of m'self and the mother of a young boy [and the young boy himself] in describing what a crumpet was to his French friend - the best I could manage was "a sort of edible sponge" because I refuse to give up being horrible about things), then continuing in my HOPELESS QUEST for books about Hiroshi Yoshida (NONE) and getting sidetracked by the biography section to leaf through various Lawrence Biogs (1. Straight cis men are determined to make sure you are not allowed to have their heroes for any reason; 2. reminds me of cis women angrily refusing to let any "cross-dressing" "women" from history ever be fucking trans, but 1. is significantly more odious than 2. because at least with women's history it's a potent reminder of how The Patriarchy has written women into the margins of history whereas 1. is just "don't get your icky sexuality near my hero he can't have been a role model for me AND A DIRTY MASOCHISTIC QUEIRDO), only to discover that I have the fucking Michael Asher but not the Michael Korda, and what does it matter anyway when I don't have time to read any of them and he's much better in his own words --
--- went for dinner in Wasabi and took myself for a cocktail to finish my book: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlXOZGh-6H/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Feeling militant about not going home I availed myself of cake and milkshake:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlaQvvhXYr/?taken-by=derekdesanges
(Waiter had to recommend cake for me. I picked a milkshake to go with it but it wasn't available. Then the cake he recommended wasn't there. He came back and recommended another. Then he went off and returned with the first cake. "Magic," he said, grimly.)
AND THEN I ran out of go entirely and had to come home, ran into Jess at the bus-stop, and took a detour for fish and chips.
TODAY:
A long and brutal debate about whether to go to the gym. Having discovered MYSTERY HAEMATOMA [https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/16819037_10154074366337531_8556411787549898829_o.jpg?oh=854b535e214bb3275e19916f54387927&oe=5938419F] and feeling generally appalling first thing in the morning I went back to bed. Got up again and decided not to be a weenus and just go on the bikes or something since that wouldn't do one to my Achilles tendon and such.
Final score: rowing, chest press (not bad), leg raises (went okay), lat pulldowns (did very well with these today), lat raises (Weird, don't like them), bicep curls (again did well with these), and closed with a standard 20 minutes of cycling. Only walking there and back seems to have bothered my foot, so NATURALLY I am about to walk to the cinema and back to see Moonlight at last.
Days when I don't run/bench do seem like I'm not really trying at all tbh.
... And then they didn't have tickets available for the Robots until 4.30pm, and Lindsay "didn't want to stay out that late" (COME THE FUCK ON), was unenthused by my suggestion that we get late lunch after the tickets and then come back feeling reinvigorated, and eventually settled for looking at the Mathematics and Aviation galleries (typically quite empty, although not so empty as the Agriculture and Shipping galleries which were so barren they were removed and replaced with communications and information); Mathematics has changed (https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1r_VDIjS/?taken-by=derekdesanges // https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1yfGD6tv/?taken-by=derekdesanges) and while I can see that the current practical and application-based approach (which is a trifle nihilistic in places https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk1JB2jUrF/?taken-by=derekdesanges) is more engaging and likely to draw in visitors and impress upon them the importance of mathematics, I miss the dusty old dim hall full of wire constructs of impossible shapes and Babbage's brain in a jar tucked away in a corner minding its own business. Aviation has not changed: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk2D40D0th/?taken-by=derekdesanges and the 1944 airman there is a definite Style Goal.
Unfortunately the entire MASSIVE HANGAR FULL OF LOUD CHILDREN AND HANGING PLANES AND TOO MUCH INFORMATION AND NOISE did a number on me head and I had to go and sit down and try to deal with the ongoing problem ("continual guilt/panic/anger about the relevance of what I am doing or reading or trying to learn at any given moment, with added panic about how much I will retain or understand") compounded by additional problem ("i am literally only intelligent enough to know how little I know and will ever know") and some angry stomping about how if I'd fucking pursued my earlier passing interest in non-linear mathematics, fluid dynamics, and modelling of turbulent systems as a ten-year-old I bloody well WOULD have understood it and might even have been able to DO something with my blasted fucking life.
On standing up I found I was dizzy and losing my balance so I found Lindsay and ate a packet of MEN'S POCKY Jess bought me the day before, while walking through the information and communications gallery and trying not to get distracted from telling a joke by the desire to yell about wavelength perception and FAILING AT THIS. [Interdisciplinary academic study seems to be coming more and more popular - the talk I went to about ww1 archaeology in Syria was the product of the cooperation between several different specialities, for example, and architecture in particular has always covered about a bajillion things - and I am very very interested in the ways in which different focuses can cover the same "thing" or area or event or whatever in a multitude of ways something something an object is also an event in time and evolutionary pressures are present when we decide what makes a building look beautiful because our preference for symmetry derives in part from an evolutionary preference for symmetrical-ish bodies supposed to be evidence of healthy/strong genes ETC, but this is even worse than wanting learn ONE thing. I want to know ALL THE THING and how the thing RELATE to all the other thing].
We went and bought astronaut ice cream and ate it outside:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk6g7hDCbN/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Then we had afternoon tea at Tombo and I tried to unclog my brain:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQk9qBTjKWH/?taken-by=derekdesanges
And ended up having to go on a mission for paracetamol and water because my entire face hurt.
Lindsay and I parted ways because he was being... not obstructive exactly but gently uncooperative/cheerfully ... hrm. Evincing an interest in continuing whatever "I" wanted to do but making it clear at the same time that this would be an imposition. So I told him to go home, and went to the RA:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlKI-SDiEE/?taken-by=derekdesanges
In order to have a nice self-indulgent anxiety attack in the bathroom.
Went to F&M on my way back towards Piccadilly:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlMJMdDjJI/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Wasn't intending to buy anything but found A CHELSEA BUN and haven't had one in DECADES
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlMOLyj7Oz/?taken-by=derekdesanges
After firmly plopping myself down in Waterstones basement to read more of my book (And being accidentally dragged into a conversation by a very beautiful man who wanted the help of m'self and the mother of a young boy [and the young boy himself] in describing what a crumpet was to his French friend - the best I could manage was "a sort of edible sponge" because I refuse to give up being horrible about things), then continuing in my HOPELESS QUEST for books about Hiroshi Yoshida (NONE) and getting sidetracked by the biography section to leaf through various Lawrence Biogs (1. Straight cis men are determined to make sure you are not allowed to have their heroes for any reason; 2. reminds me of cis women angrily refusing to let any "cross-dressing" "women" from history ever be fucking trans, but 1. is significantly more odious than 2. because at least with women's history it's a potent reminder of how The Patriarchy has written women into the margins of history whereas 1. is just "don't get your icky sexuality near my hero he can't have been a role model for me AND A DIRTY MASOCHISTIC QUEIRDO), only to discover that I have the fucking Michael Asher but not the Michael Korda, and what does it matter anyway when I don't have time to read any of them and he's much better in his own words --
--- went for dinner in Wasabi and took myself for a cocktail to finish my book: https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlXOZGh-6H/?taken-by=derekdesanges
Feeling militant about not going home I availed myself of cake and milkshake:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQlaQvvhXYr/?taken-by=derekdesanges
(Waiter had to recommend cake for me. I picked a milkshake to go with it but it wasn't available. Then the cake he recommended wasn't there. He came back and recommended another. Then he went off and returned with the first cake. "Magic," he said, grimly.)
AND THEN I ran out of go entirely and had to come home, ran into Jess at the bus-stop, and took a detour for fish and chips.
TODAY:
A long and brutal debate about whether to go to the gym. Having discovered MYSTERY HAEMATOMA [https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/16819037_10154074366337531_8556411787549898829_o.jpg?oh=854b535e214bb3275e19916f54387927&oe=5938419F] and feeling generally appalling first thing in the morning I went back to bed. Got up again and decided not to be a weenus and just go on the bikes or something since that wouldn't do one to my Achilles tendon and such.
![https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/16819037_10154074366337531_8556411787549898829_o.jpg?oh=854b535e214bb3275e19916f54387927&oe=5938419F]](https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/16819037_10154074366337531_8556411787549898829_o.jpg?oh=854b535e214bb3275e19916f54387927&oe=5938419F]){kind=link}
Final score: rowing, chest press (not bad), leg raises (went okay), lat pulldowns (did very well with these today), lat raises (Weird, don't like them), bicep curls (again did well with these), and closed with a standard 20 minutes of cycling. Only walking there and back seems to have bothered my foot, so NATURALLY I am about to walk to the cinema and back to see Moonlight at last.
Days when I don't run/bench do seem like I'm not really trying at all tbh.