(no subject)
The phrase "because I don't want to" or "because I want to" is becoming very useful now that I've realised it's a legitimate reason. The problem is I only seem to be able to air it when I'm angry with people, and am once again at 50% "I wish to be Greta-Garbo-alone FOREVER" and "I miss all of my friends where the hell is everyone" at the same time.
Violent impulses largely disappearing, at present, even when people are being frustrating as hell. They come back with the testosterone drop - more argument against "testosterone makes people aggressive". It makes you ASSERTIVE. How you handle that makes you aggressive or not, I suppose.
I am slowly putting out a paragraph or so of The Renaka Device at work most nights, which is nice because it is a very simple thing to write, I know exactly what happens, I have been playing with the story for nearly a decade, and the way I am writing it is non-demanding even in comparison to the Max Stroke story that's sitting in the same notebook section, or the Catallus Kent one. Deciding that I no longer give a fuck regarding publishing has been something of a freeing thought. (I do have to edit and put out a couple more things, proper things, but the rest is pretty much... whatever. I'll do what I do. Or I won't. It doesn't matter. We'll get there).
(the downside is that if I feel anyone trying to drag me into competition NOW I am likely to just cut them out. fuck that. no one needs that shit.)
Violent impulses largely disappearing, at present, even when people are being frustrating as hell. They come back with the testosterone drop - more argument against "testosterone makes people aggressive". It makes you ASSERTIVE. How you handle that makes you aggressive or not, I suppose.
I am slowly putting out a paragraph or so of The Renaka Device at work most nights, which is nice because it is a very simple thing to write, I know exactly what happens, I have been playing with the story for nearly a decade, and the way I am writing it is non-demanding even in comparison to the Max Stroke story that's sitting in the same notebook section, or the Catallus Kent one. Deciding that I no longer give a fuck regarding publishing has been something of a freeing thought. (I do have to edit and put out a couple more things, proper things, but the rest is pretty much... whatever. I'll do what I do. Or I won't. It doesn't matter. We'll get there).
(the downside is that if I feel anyone trying to drag me into competition NOW I am likely to just cut them out. fuck that. no one needs that shit.)