this post is subtitled "i still love tom hardy a very lot"
Have my unfiltered and highly spoiler-filled Batman feels:
BANE
Oh wait I should probably talk about other things
Selena Kyle was given good treatment, Anne Hathaway has excellent presence and contrives to have chemistry with Christian Bale which is impressive as Christian Bale cannot have chemistry with human beings. I think she just sizzled for them both.
Pacing was ... okay but not brilliant, and as Jess said there were a few FUCK ME THAT IS SOME EXPOSITION THERE moments, a lot of which were blatantly fucking unnecessary as anyone with half a brain could have seen what was being got at already. Then again, this happens a lot in films so either producers are underestimating audiences or I am overestimating them.
I am neutral on the matter of Robin. I kind of figured he was going to be Robin, but what I actually wanted was for Bruce to die (like he WANTED) and for Blake to take over as Batman. Which in a roundabout way would be comics canon given that Dick was Batman for a good long time. I could compromise on Blake as Nightwing, I suppose?
Alfred D: I had a serious C-face on when he gave Bruce his speech. Owie.
Speaking of speeches, both Selena's and Bane's WE'RE GOING TO DRAG YOU OUT INTO THE STREET YOU BLOATED OVERPRIVILEGED SHITBAGS made my socialist revolutionary fantasies tingle for a bit, although in the manner of a comic book villain I have to say I was rendered even more tingly watching America burn. Even if it was only a little, fictitious bit. BOOM. DIE. ALL OF YOU DIE.
... I suspect it will go badly for me if I continue down that avenue the world would be a better place if I woke up and your entire continent was dead.
Oh gosh mustn't drown in hating America feelings.
Okay we called Talia being Miranda, too.
NOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT MY BANE FEELINGS.
ONE: I LOVE THAT EVEN WITH THE DISTORTION TOM HARDY'S CADENCES ARE RECOGNISIBLE
THIS MAY JUST BE BECAUSE I AM OBSESSIVE
TWO: I LOVED THE FUCKING REVEAL SO MUCH. I LOVED HIM ALREADY, BECAUSE, WELL. DEVIOUS, EXTREMELY VIOLENT IN A VERY CASUAL WAY, AND COMMANDING SACRIFICIAL LOYALTY FROM HIS FOLLOWERS. BUT THE REVEAL MADE MY CHEST EXPLODE WITH FEELINGS, BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE HE WAS HER BIG LOYAL MONSTER-DOG. HE HAS MASTER/MISTRESS-CENTRIC MORALITY.
THREE: HE ACTUALLY FUCKING UTTERED A PHRASE I HAVE USED SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST
YOU, GIANT BROKEN MONSTER MAN WITH YOUR FUCKED UP FACE AND YOUR CRAZY EYES AND YOUR ENDLESS THUGGERY, LET ME LOVE YOU OR MORE ACCURATELY LET ME LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH TALIA
OH MY HEART
the end
PS
I require lots and lots of fic about Talia and Bane.
BANE
Oh wait I should probably talk about other things
Selena Kyle was given good treatment, Anne Hathaway has excellent presence and contrives to have chemistry with Christian Bale which is impressive as Christian Bale cannot have chemistry with human beings. I think she just sizzled for them both.
Pacing was ... okay but not brilliant, and as Jess said there were a few FUCK ME THAT IS SOME EXPOSITION THERE moments, a lot of which were blatantly fucking unnecessary as anyone with half a brain could have seen what was being got at already. Then again, this happens a lot in films so either producers are underestimating audiences or I am overestimating them.
I am neutral on the matter of Robin. I kind of figured he was going to be Robin, but what I actually wanted was for Bruce to die (like he WANTED) and for Blake to take over as Batman. Which in a roundabout way would be comics canon given that Dick was Batman for a good long time. I could compromise on Blake as Nightwing, I suppose?
Alfred D: I had a serious C-face on when he gave Bruce his speech. Owie.
Speaking of speeches, both Selena's and Bane's WE'RE GOING TO DRAG YOU OUT INTO THE STREET YOU BLOATED OVERPRIVILEGED SHITBAGS made my socialist revolutionary fantasies tingle for a bit, although in the manner of a comic book villain I have to say I was rendered even more tingly watching America burn. Even if it was only a little, fictitious bit. BOOM. DIE. ALL OF YOU DIE.
... I suspect it will go badly for me if I continue down that avenue the world would be a better place if I woke up and your entire continent was dead.
Oh gosh mustn't drown in hating America feelings.
Okay we called Talia being Miranda, too.
NOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT MY BANE FEELINGS.
ONE: I LOVE THAT EVEN WITH THE DISTORTION TOM HARDY'S CADENCES ARE RECOGNISIBLE
THIS MAY JUST BE BECAUSE I AM OBSESSIVE
TWO: I LOVED THE FUCKING REVEAL SO MUCH. I LOVED HIM ALREADY, BECAUSE, WELL. DEVIOUS, EXTREMELY VIOLENT IN A VERY CASUAL WAY, AND COMMANDING SACRIFICIAL LOYALTY FROM HIS FOLLOWERS. BUT THE REVEAL MADE MY CHEST EXPLODE WITH FEELINGS, BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE HE WAS HER BIG LOYAL MONSTER-DOG. HE HAS MASTER/MISTRESS-CENTRIC MORALITY.
THREE: HE ACTUALLY FUCKING UTTERED A PHRASE I HAVE USED SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST
YOU, GIANT BROKEN MONSTER MAN WITH YOUR FUCKED UP FACE AND YOUR CRAZY EYES AND YOUR ENDLESS THUGGERY, LET ME LOVE YOU OR MORE ACCURATELY LET ME LOVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH TALIA
OH MY HEART
the end
PS
I require lots and lots of fic about Talia and Bane.