C&P-ing from Tumlbr, yo: Maurice feelings-vomit
(Fiona made these caps, not me)
fuck it, I will just feelings-vomit about this bit at last. There is in this, and in the preceding scene, a very recognisable emotion. There’s relief. It seems a weird thing to say, but Maurice has been filled with self-loathing and a desperation to be rid of the things he wants and how badly he wants them oh boy can i identify and he’s in terrible self-conflict and then someone just shows up and voluntarily and of his owndesire comes and does everything Maurice had been trying never to want (you will remember that Clive made such a fucking hoo-ha about it being wrong or lowering or bad and all that claptrap). No one in his life has voluntarily touched him before, with that kind of tenderness or attraction. Maurice has probably been convinced that he’s going to die alone, miserable, and unloved. That he’s going to be empty forever, that there’s something desperately wrong with him. And then Alec … does this. So there’s this shellshock of happiness and relief and overwhelming rightness. And James Wilby does a really good job of conveying that, this moment of coming into your own and realising that you’re actually as much of a human being as everyone else around you, that you’re not irretrievable or unspeakable or vile.
Like I said, I identify rather. :) It’s a good set of scenes.
fuck it, I will just feelings-vomit about this bit at last. There is in this, and in the preceding scene, a very recognisable emotion. There’s relief. It seems a weird thing to say, but Maurice has been filled with self-loathing and a desperation to be rid of the things he wants and how badly he wants them oh boy can i identify and he’s in terrible self-conflict and then someone just shows up and voluntarily and of his owndesire comes and does everything Maurice had been trying never to want (you will remember that Clive made such a fucking hoo-ha about it being wrong or lowering or bad and all that claptrap). No one in his life has voluntarily touched him before, with that kind of tenderness or attraction. Maurice has probably been convinced that he’s going to die alone, miserable, and unloved. That he’s going to be empty forever, that there’s something desperately wrong with him. And then Alec … does this. So there’s this shellshock of happiness and relief and overwhelming rightness. And James Wilby does a really good job of conveying that, this moment of coming into your own and realising that you’re actually as much of a human being as everyone else around you, that you’re not irretrievable or unspeakable or vile.
Like I said, I identify rather. :) It’s a good set of scenes.