Occasionally my brain works.
For most of my adolescent and adult life, the women (especially the women) I’ve admired have been the subject of derision and disgust not only from patronising condescending suit-wearing gitmen but from My Fellow Feminists. I’m quite used to it now, and these days quite enjoy it when people go “UGH” at the people I think are awesome because it means I still know how to pick ‘em.
Thinking about it, you can usually tell a lot about what’s driving someone by the things they revile in others.
Beth Ditto, for example. On f_w a lot of people threw some spangling fat-shaming nonsense and concern trolling about which is only to be expected as a global culture of hate specifically about women’s bodies prevails and we all know it does. What’s interesting to me is the revulsion and fastidious criticism directed at her for her statements about personal hygiene (“I think punks should be a bit smelly”, mentioning that she doesn’t use deodorant, not shaving bits) and eating habits, and background (she calls herself trailer trash, she says she grew up eating roadkill). A lot of it centres on her being a “bad example”, as if becoming a shining beacon of specific class and gender expression values were the first duty of everyone who sets out to make music; a lot of it consisted of talking about how gross she was for revelling in this or that or how “dangerous” it was … and a lot of it, to me, smacked of people who haven’t internalised quite as thoroughly as they think they have the idea that actually it’s perfectly fucking okay for a woman to do whatever she damn well pleases with her own body, even if it’s not something you would personally want to do.
Likewise Courtney Love, my first proper lady-obsession for whom my continued affection shows no signs of abating. She encourages self-determination and acknowledges misogyny, heartbreak, and familial background as factors in hurting ladykind. She’s also pretty fucked up and more than a little crazy. She veers between saying mad paranoid things that make me cringe, mad spiritual things that make me wish she’d GTFO Hollywood, and mad profound things that make me want to take her to dinner forever.
Criticisms of Courtney seem to centre on matters of her sexuality (how dare she ever have relationships again after having been married to someone famous more than 15 years ago), her maternal behaviour (former heroin addict, mentally-unstable woman from a lousy home whose husband has just committed suicide in “not perfect parent” shocker; also outside of Francis, who actually has any business talking about how her daughter was raised?), and her tendency to talk unbidden about things. Assuming that she has a right to be heard.
Again it strikes me that a lot of this is wrapped up in internalised misogyny (that shit is everywhere); the assumption that woman must love only one person forever is of course poppycock; the assumption that somehow a female rockstar must be a more responsible and better parent to her child than, say, Steve Tyler or an avalanche of others; the assumption that women should shut the fuck up unless their opinion is specifically solicited. There is an overfondness of the notion of female propriety and sedateness accompanied by lenience toward Men Behaving Badly; if you’re going to smile fondly at the drunken antics of male rock stars and male actors, smile fondly at the drunken antics of their female counterparts. If you’re going to condemn female entertainers for their humanity, condemn the men too. Be consistent.
The problem with Amanda Palmer for a lot of people is that she doesn’t give a fuck what they think about her, and it’s difficult for people to adjust to the idea of a woman whose interest in pleasing others isn’t foremost in her mind. Amanda is keen to engage with and encourage other mad and creative people, and always gives the impression of being blissfully unfussed about what is expected from her. She told the popular music industry to go fuck itself over trying to edit out shots of her belly from a music video (which a friend of mine - another woman who receives a lot of criticism from people who find her behaviour unacceptablebecause she is a woman - Alex DeCampi, directed)… they wanted her to look “thinner” and “more sexy”. Amanda felt that wasn’t the fucking point.
f_w criticisms of Amanda have included “unoriginality” - of an artist whose big thing has been paying homage to and playing around with notions of Weimar Cabaret - “grossness” regarding her hairy pits and flouncy dresses in combination, “skanky” was another one, presumably relating to her sexuality being about her enjoyment rather than demure poses for other people to look in on or completely tucked away in private and presenting a sexless facade … people felt she lacked some ethereal quality, which to my mind is precisely why I like her. Amanda is very much of this earth and of her own flesh, mind, and emotions; she is self-possessed and self-centred and radically self-involvedwithout apology and with self-knowledge. I think again that a lot of this comes down to people being afraid of/threatened by the concept that actually, “a woman may do as she pleases” really does mean just that, and sometimes “what a woman pleases” involves wearing a corset and not shaving her armpits and singing onstage about an abortion she had while smiling. She represents the Inappropriate Emotional Response, the Unladylike Sexual Feeling, and the endlessly charming This Sounds Cool Let’s Give It A Shot.