Of course, "I hate horses" is short-hand for "pony girls were cunts to me at school".
Day 15: Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality
Last time I did this I explained how my western astrological sign is bollocks, because you basically build up a pattern of self-contradictory vagueness and ignore the stuff that doesn't apply. Also that astrology used to be quite a big deal for me until I was about 19, 20, and had one of the first of several "epiphanies", didn't quite shake the influence of the bullshit for a lot longer, but now don't even feel particularly curious about horoscopes printed in papers.
So I guess this time I should say something about how Eastern astrology is also bollocks, right? I love the whole "one year" version, like everyone born in a particular year is going to be like this regardless of social circumstance, upbringing, genes, whatever. According to this, as someone born in 1982 I am blah blah blah loyalty blah blah blah inquisitive blah blah make a good detective pedantic blah blah ... nooooot strictly true. There doesn't seem to be a lot of overlap with "periodically disappears up own arse, finds socialising exhausting, endless unemotional suicide planning" there, which suggests to me that either I am imagining myself, or astrology is a big sack of bollocks. Take your pick.
In all honesty I've little patience for anything that claims to be a determinant of someone's persona, if only because people are usually quite complex and changeable individuals and conversely because most of them fall under the heading of "irritating cunts" anyway - I mean, how many different ways do you need to say "probably an arsehole"?
Also, aeromachia asked me something over on Tumblr and I went off on a fucking tear answering it so uuuuuh yeah. Replicated here in all its glory:
DEL DEL DEL I have to ask... does your hatred of fantasy epic extend to all manner of ~magical kingdoms~ or is it just the ones where a lot of middle-aged dudes ride around on horseback questing and being tedious? WHAT ARE THE PARAMETERS ON THIS? (my own feelings on the various fantasy tropes and subgenres range from nostalgic enthusiasm to blazing hatred, so I am always intriguied to know other people's thoughts)
aeromachia
Generally just the questing kind, and anything in which people Talk Like Wankers: for example, I love Discworld, I have a reasonable amount of fondness for the Narnia books - I guess a lot of it’s in the narrative style. But anything that falls under the same sort of auspices as the first “novel” I shat out and looks like someone’s gone through the Fighting Fantasy Monster guide or drawn out a plot in a straight line and said “here is where they fight the dragon here is where they assist the dwarvish rebellion oh shit where is my ELF I must have an ELF”, looks like someone just wrote out one of their D&D campaigns, features too many noble steeds or descriptions of the countryside (and mysteriously no mention of how much POOP horses generate or how BORING the countryside is), contains the “this entire race is evil because they’re evil” trope, wanks on with boring delineated black-and-white morality, or just expects me to care about Medieval Europe Lite … I tend to be rather hostile toward.
I’m not sure where I stand on magical kingdoms. Or magic in general, for that matter - I prefer it when it’s kind of rubbish magic, doesn’t work a lot of the time, is a pain in the arse to get right, and has horrible consequences for those involved. I detest stories where the moral is apparently “science is bad”, and I could talk for ten thousand years about how much I fucking hate almost every representation of elves post-Tolkien. In fact the entire trope of “mystical magical special uberrace who are better and more enlightened” gets on my tits because it’s so dull and has sinister undertones; one of the reasons I love snakewife’s world-building is that when she writes more intelligent or “better” species than humans they’re invariable as big assholes, idiots, or weirdos as humans are. :)
I think the other thing that ticks me off about epic fantasy in particular is the world-saving importance of so many of the stories; I’m a big fan of the mundane and of con tricks, so, you know, a massive quest that is TTLY IMPORTANT just makes me want to throw shoes …
NB: A lot of my distaste probably springs from having spent yeeeeears of my life writing crap exactly like that and being very, very embarrassed by the total lack of originality now. The rest I think just comes from hating horses. Seriously though, it’s not just horses. Hypocritically, I quite like myths! Just not ones people have made up in the knowledge that they’re myth-making, because they tend to lack the appropriate … weight.
END NOTE: I am not pissing and moaning that fantasy exists, I'm not saying people shouldn't write it or read it, I'm not even saying that all fantasy is like that, but I am saying that where it comes to epic fantasy the elements which annoy me outweigh any positives I might take from it and the similarities between the good stuff and the shite stuff are too strong for me to enjoy it. Also I fucking hate horses.
Last time I did this I explained how my western astrological sign is bollocks, because you basically build up a pattern of self-contradictory vagueness and ignore the stuff that doesn't apply. Also that astrology used to be quite a big deal for me until I was about 19, 20, and had one of the first of several "epiphanies", didn't quite shake the influence of the bullshit for a lot longer, but now don't even feel particularly curious about horoscopes printed in papers.
So I guess this time I should say something about how Eastern astrology is also bollocks, right? I love the whole "one year" version, like everyone born in a particular year is going to be like this regardless of social circumstance, upbringing, genes, whatever. According to this, as someone born in 1982 I am blah blah blah loyalty blah blah blah inquisitive blah blah make a good detective pedantic blah blah ... nooooot strictly true. There doesn't seem to be a lot of overlap with "periodically disappears up own arse, finds socialising exhausting, endless unemotional suicide planning" there, which suggests to me that either I am imagining myself, or astrology is a big sack of bollocks. Take your pick.
In all honesty I've little patience for anything that claims to be a determinant of someone's persona, if only because people are usually quite complex and changeable individuals and conversely because most of them fall under the heading of "irritating cunts" anyway - I mean, how many different ways do you need to say "probably an arsehole"?
Also, aeromachia asked me something over on Tumblr and I went off on a fucking tear answering it so uuuuuh yeah. Replicated here in all its glory:
DEL DEL DEL I have to ask... does your hatred of fantasy epic extend to all manner of ~magical kingdoms~ or is it just the ones where a lot of middle-aged dudes ride around on horseback questing and being tedious? WHAT ARE THE PARAMETERS ON THIS? (my own feelings on the various fantasy tropes and subgenres range from nostalgic enthusiasm to blazing hatred, so I am always intriguied to know other people's thoughts)
aeromachia
Generally just the questing kind, and anything in which people Talk Like Wankers: for example, I love Discworld, I have a reasonable amount of fondness for the Narnia books - I guess a lot of it’s in the narrative style. But anything that falls under the same sort of auspices as the first “novel” I shat out and looks like someone’s gone through the Fighting Fantasy Monster guide or drawn out a plot in a straight line and said “here is where they fight the dragon here is where they assist the dwarvish rebellion oh shit where is my ELF I must have an ELF”, looks like someone just wrote out one of their D&D campaigns, features too many noble steeds or descriptions of the countryside (and mysteriously no mention of how much POOP horses generate or how BORING the countryside is), contains the “this entire race is evil because they’re evil” trope, wanks on with boring delineated black-and-white morality, or just expects me to care about Medieval Europe Lite … I tend to be rather hostile toward.
I’m not sure where I stand on magical kingdoms. Or magic in general, for that matter - I prefer it when it’s kind of rubbish magic, doesn’t work a lot of the time, is a pain in the arse to get right, and has horrible consequences for those involved. I detest stories where the moral is apparently “science is bad”, and I could talk for ten thousand years about how much I fucking hate almost every representation of elves post-Tolkien. In fact the entire trope of “mystical magical special uberrace who are better and more enlightened” gets on my tits because it’s so dull and has sinister undertones; one of the reasons I love snakewife’s world-building is that when she writes more intelligent or “better” species than humans they’re invariable as big assholes, idiots, or weirdos as humans are. :)
I think the other thing that ticks me off about epic fantasy in particular is the world-saving importance of so many of the stories; I’m a big fan of the mundane and of con tricks, so, you know, a massive quest that is TTLY IMPORTANT just makes me want to throw shoes …
NB: A lot of my distaste probably springs from having spent yeeeeears of my life writing crap exactly like that and being very, very embarrassed by the total lack of originality now. The rest I think just comes from hating horses. Seriously though, it’s not just horses. Hypocritically, I quite like myths! Just not ones people have made up in the knowledge that they’re myth-making, because they tend to lack the appropriate … weight.
END NOTE: I am not pissing and moaning that fantasy exists, I'm not saying people shouldn't write it or read it, I'm not even saying that all fantasy is like that, but I am saying that where it comes to epic fantasy the elements which annoy me outweigh any positives I might take from it and the similarities between the good stuff and the shite stuff are too strong for me to enjoy it. Also I fucking hate horses.