rant rant rant?

[apiphile]

My brain is still doing a weird thing which is making it hard for me to actually experience emotions on an emotional level (ie: I am having a big BPD, but the Asperger's is sitting in the aux sends and adding Big Logic to all my insane flailings; unfortunately since the signal coming through the sends is BPD the information itself is faulty and

Comments

[apiphile]

And possibly have dealt with mentally ill people in a position of power over them who made life fucking awful as a direct result of not owning their issues and acknowledging that sometimes their behavior was insane because they were.

Point. I keep running into posts/comments about BPD which boil down to "the people who suffer most from BPD are the people around those EVIL SELFISH MANIPULATORS" which makes me LOL somewhat as I seem to recall it's the people with BPD who end up committing suicide, not the people AROUND US. (Although I would not like for anyone to be dependent on me. They would suffer, I am pretty sure of that).

Why Can't I Subsist on Rice&Beans Like A GOOD Person

No, subsisting on rice & beans is an eating disorder. That's what I did when I was anorexic: rice, beans, oatcakes. Sometimes cucumber. x2 Oatcakes with optional cucumber slice and a line of speed for breakfast, speed for lunch, and a bowl/half-bowl of rice & beans for dinner. I remain convinced that limiting your options for reasons other than allergies is dangerous but may just be talking out of seeing friends/peers triggered back into disorder by limitations. [J's warning signs for relapse were faddishness and fixation - we shoved her back toward the shrink when she told us she'd eaten "nothing but strawberries this week" & sure enough she was purging again within the month]

[apiphile]

Don't make me bust out my issues with the concept of Good People, G. I will do it. I will slap you with them. :D

[apiphile]

Yeah, "Good" is an unattainable perfectionism-related rod for beating yourself (and, if you're a real douche, others) with. "A bit better" is a much healthier goal. Or just "what I can manage".

[apiphile]

Bleh yes that's a hard habit to break.