Father Lucifer
I miss my father.
Yes, I realize this is a very odd comment coming from me. My father as I know him (and as most of us know him) tends to be an arrogant and bigoted person. That's my dad... I love him in spite of that.
But my father now... that's not my dad. The father that is in my life now is less existent than before - the father that I have now is one who has taken to every behaviour that the old father tried so desperately to keep my siblings and I from falling into.
The thing about my father is that - in spite of all of his faults - he really has an overwhelming amount of love for his children. No matter how much he's messed up with us, no matter how much he neglected us or treated us poorly - I've always come from the situation knowing that not all people are tailored to be parents - not all people know how to be the perfect parent. I know that he tried and I know that he loves me. My father has supported me in everything that I've done - no matter how much he disagreed with it. When my dad found out that I am gay his response was the furthest from what I expected - he accepted it and told me that he still loved me. He supported me in my shows and concerts in high school - he's supported me in my ventures through college - even if he couldn't help me financially.
The father that I once knew is gone. He's become... well he's become almost an empty shell of a father... of a person. The things that he's done - the things that he's doing - the things that people tried to get him help for - they just keep coming back. It's starting to seem as though my dad is never coming back.
My dad used to call me once a week or every other week to try and get together with me - but I never had the time. And, truth be told, at the time I didn't want to go out with them. But now I miss that. I wish my dad would call me and ask me to get together. The old dad. I'd gladly go - because I miss him.
The father that I have now can't hold a light to him.
Yes, I realize this is a very odd comment coming from me. My father as I know him (and as most of us know him) tends to be an arrogant and bigoted person. That's my dad... I love him in spite of that.
But my father now... that's not my dad. The father that is in my life now is less existent than before - the father that I have now is one who has taken to every behaviour that the old father tried so desperately to keep my siblings and I from falling into.
The thing about my father is that - in spite of all of his faults - he really has an overwhelming amount of love for his children. No matter how much he's messed up with us, no matter how much he neglected us or treated us poorly - I've always come from the situation knowing that not all people are tailored to be parents - not all people know how to be the perfect parent. I know that he tried and I know that he loves me. My father has supported me in everything that I've done - no matter how much he disagreed with it. When my dad found out that I am gay his response was the furthest from what I expected - he accepted it and told me that he still loved me. He supported me in my shows and concerts in high school - he's supported me in my ventures through college - even if he couldn't help me financially.
The father that I once knew is gone. He's become... well he's become almost an empty shell of a father... of a person. The things that he's done - the things that he's doing - the things that people tried to get him help for - they just keep coming back. It's starting to seem as though my dad is never coming back.
My dad used to call me once a week or every other week to try and get together with me - but I never had the time. And, truth be told, at the time I didn't want to go out with them. But now I miss that. I wish my dad would call me and ask me to get together. The old dad. I'd gladly go - because I miss him.
The father that I have now can't hold a light to him.