(no subject)
wow. it all feels so unreal. did that happen? did he just say that? it must have, he must have, because i cant stop crying. the weird thing is, i feel numb. the worst part is, i wish things didnt have to change at all. i wish we could act the way we have all along. because now i know how he feels so now i can function without thinking about what is going to happen. but i dont want things to change. somehow i knew prom would change it all. i just knew. thats probably why i spent friday night crying. i didnt even have to be there to see it happening. it just kills me that one night changed everything, and i didnt get a prom to show him that i might be worth it. i know that wouldnt change anything but still i wish that somehow i could have a chance. because even if i dont deserve him, i want to. i want to be good enough for him.
i guess in the end we cant change fate. but he has changed me, for the better i think. i am not as strong of a person as i was. i am overly emotional, and i cry easily. but i am happy, in a way that i wasnt before. i think rachel said it the best. she told me that she can always tell when i have been with him, because i am glowing. so for that, i thank him.
i am not so numb anymore. i hurt. a lot. well i am ending this entry so that i can write. really write.
i hurt.
i guess in the end we cant change fate. but he has changed me, for the better i think. i am not as strong of a person as i was. i am overly emotional, and i cry easily. but i am happy, in a way that i wasnt before. i think rachel said it the best. she told me that she can always tell when i have been with him, because i am glowing. so for that, i thank him.
i am not so numb anymore. i hurt. a lot. well i am ending this entry so that i can write. really write.
i hurt.