emo aphy
WARNING: This might be too personal and emo for some. I'm not a happy Aphy today :( I won't blame you if you don't want to read, I'm just trying to get some of these feelings out.
So, I graduated college yesterday but for some reason I'm not happy. :( I feel somewhat adrift, and don't think I'll feel stable again until I'm working. Hopefully it won't last for long.
On top of that today is Mother's Day, and do I have a story to tell. Earlier this week, my little brother calls and asks if I would like help take Mom out to dinner for Mom's day. I decline because I have no spare money and was planning something else.
Yesterday, my parents, my little brother and his fiancee came to see me graduate. My little brother and his fiancee gave me a very nice card from her parents and inside it was tucked $25, for which I was quite grateful. I have next to no spare income and have been exceptionally busy this semester, so every little bit helps until I find a job.
I drive to my parents house early this morning to help with chores (my gift) and to retrieve my cell phone which my dad inadvertently stole last night. (all our cell phones look alike) Throughout the day my little brother keeps calling to make sure mom is still on board with him taking her out to dinner tonight.
Anywho, the time comes for us to go, and dinner turns out very nice for all. Dad offers to split the tab with my brother, but my brother declines and magnanimously covers the whole thing. A few hours later I get a call from him. He want's me to pay for my part of dinner. He says that the money tucked in the card from his finacee's parents was really from him so I could 'save face' and offer to help pay for dinner and that the "gift" wasn't really a gift. This makes no sense to me. If I was supposed to give the money to him (while all this time I thought it was from someone else) why didn't he tell me earlier? And if he needed it so bad, why didn't he take Dad's offer to split the tab?
I'm rather confused, and through all his convoluted reasons for me giving my gift money to him, only one thing stands clear in my mind. He doesn't consider me part of this family. He was willing to treat everyone except me to dinner, and I am in the wrong for not realizing I wasn't wanted.
Needless to say, this is really getting to me, and I'm pondering hiding away from the world so I don't bother my family ever again. There is supposed to be a party in honor of all the graduates in our family (3 including myself) next weekend, but now I'm pondering not going. I really feel like an outcast right now and don't wish to cause further strife or discord.
So, I graduated college yesterday but for some reason I'm not happy. :( I feel somewhat adrift, and don't think I'll feel stable again until I'm working. Hopefully it won't last for long.
On top of that today is Mother's Day, and do I have a story to tell. Earlier this week, my little brother calls and asks if I would like help take Mom out to dinner for Mom's day. I decline because I have no spare money and was planning something else.
Yesterday, my parents, my little brother and his fiancee came to see me graduate. My little brother and his fiancee gave me a very nice card from her parents and inside it was tucked $25, for which I was quite grateful. I have next to no spare income and have been exceptionally busy this semester, so every little bit helps until I find a job.
I drive to my parents house early this morning to help with chores (my gift) and to retrieve my cell phone which my dad inadvertently stole last night. (all our cell phones look alike) Throughout the day my little brother keeps calling to make sure mom is still on board with him taking her out to dinner tonight.
Anywho, the time comes for us to go, and dinner turns out very nice for all. Dad offers to split the tab with my brother, but my brother declines and magnanimously covers the whole thing. A few hours later I get a call from him. He want's me to pay for my part of dinner. He says that the money tucked in the card from his finacee's parents was really from him so I could 'save face' and offer to help pay for dinner and that the "gift" wasn't really a gift. This makes no sense to me. If I was supposed to give the money to him (while all this time I thought it was from someone else) why didn't he tell me earlier? And if he needed it so bad, why didn't he take Dad's offer to split the tab?
I'm rather confused, and through all his convoluted reasons for me giving my gift money to him, only one thing stands clear in my mind. He doesn't consider me part of this family. He was willing to treat everyone except me to dinner, and I am in the wrong for not realizing I wasn't wanted.
Needless to say, this is really getting to me, and I'm pondering hiding away from the world so I don't bother my family ever again. There is supposed to be a party in honor of all the graduates in our family (3 including myself) next weekend, but now I'm pondering not going. I really feel like an outcast right now and don't wish to cause further strife or discord.