(no subject)
Dear Landlord,
One of our doorknobs fell off today. Upon inspection, I discovered that you, quite literally, put a square peg in a round hole. Hence the falling off. I also suspect that all the doorknobs are assembled in the same shoddy fashion.
I called you to tell you about it, because this is just the last straw on a very loaded camel, and you say you were 'planning on spending the day' working on our place tomorrow, anyway. Were you also 'planning' on calling ahead? Were you 'planning' on letting us know you were here, unlike the other few times you've shown up and disappeared again like the mists of Avalon, never asking us if we needed anything done?
This is probably partly my fault for not calling you every single time something went wrong, but we gave you a list a mile long about 4 months ago, and only a few things have been crossed off. Then we told your wife about more things that needed to be done, and you haven't been by since.
You told me to make you up a list of things that need to be done immediately - it's going to be long, and it's going to be angry. It's also going to have a list of things my dad did, because we didn't trust you to a) actually come and do it and b) fix it properly. Because evidence suggests that you do things half-assed, anyway.
Sincerely,
Aggravated Tenant #1
Dear Jordan,
We need to have a talk when you get home. About leaving a mess in the kitchen which consists of a) two inches of flat coke in an open bottle on a counter the cats can jump onto, b) a mostly-empty glass of alcohol on a counter the cats can jump up on, and c) the empty dishwasher and why all the dishes are on the counter instead of being put in there, run, and therefore clean.
Also, yes, we did imply that you don't do anything around here. Um, because you don't? You clean the kitchen when we ask you to (although you have either not done the whole thing or we've had to then yell at you to do it), you forget to take the recycling out (the only job that is specifically yours), I do your laundry 80% of the time because the washer and dryer and, therefore, your over-full basket are in my room, and you and your girlfriend use all the dishes every. day.
Things have got to change, my friend, or you will be charged more rent.
PS: Your girlfriend should not eat so much of our food, or she can pay us rent, too.
Sincerely,
Aggravated Roommate Who Is Not Your Sister Nor Your Mother And Therefore Should Never Have To Clean Up After You, Although Really You're 19, You Should Have Some Respect For Other People By Now And Not Expect It Anyway, And Also You're A Slob, So I Win. I Didn't Appreciate The 'Wounded' Comment Last Night Either, But I Really Meant It When I Said 'Fuck You' In Response. You Cocksucker. Oh, And The Slammed Door Last Night Just As I Was Falling Asleep Really Pissed Me Off, Too.
One of our doorknobs fell off today. Upon inspection, I discovered that you, quite literally, put a square peg in a round hole. Hence the falling off. I also suspect that all the doorknobs are assembled in the same shoddy fashion.
I called you to tell you about it, because this is just the last straw on a very loaded camel, and you say you were 'planning on spending the day' working on our place tomorrow, anyway. Were you also 'planning' on calling ahead? Were you 'planning' on letting us know you were here, unlike the other few times you've shown up and disappeared again like the mists of Avalon, never asking us if we needed anything done?
This is probably partly my fault for not calling you every single time something went wrong, but we gave you a list a mile long about 4 months ago, and only a few things have been crossed off. Then we told your wife about more things that needed to be done, and you haven't been by since.
You told me to make you up a list of things that need to be done immediately - it's going to be long, and it's going to be angry. It's also going to have a list of things my dad did, because we didn't trust you to a) actually come and do it and b) fix it properly. Because evidence suggests that you do things half-assed, anyway.
Sincerely,
Aggravated Tenant #1
Dear Jordan,
We need to have a talk when you get home. About leaving a mess in the kitchen which consists of a) two inches of flat coke in an open bottle on a counter the cats can jump onto, b) a mostly-empty glass of alcohol on a counter the cats can jump up on, and c) the empty dishwasher and why all the dishes are on the counter instead of being put in there, run, and therefore clean.
Also, yes, we did imply that you don't do anything around here. Um, because you don't? You clean the kitchen when we ask you to (although you have either not done the whole thing or we've had to then yell at you to do it), you forget to take the recycling out (the only job that is specifically yours), I do your laundry 80% of the time because the washer and dryer and, therefore, your over-full basket are in my room, and you and your girlfriend use all the dishes every. day.
Things have got to change, my friend, or you will be charged more rent.
PS: Your girlfriend should not eat so much of our food, or she can pay us rent, too.
Sincerely,
Aggravated Roommate Who Is Not Your Sister Nor Your Mother And Therefore Should Never Have To Clean Up After You, Although Really You're 19, You Should Have Some Respect For Other People By Now And Not Expect It Anyway, And Also You're A Slob, So I Win. I Didn't Appreciate The 'Wounded' Comment Last Night Either, But I Really Meant It When I Said 'Fuck You' In Response. You Cocksucker. Oh, And The Slammed Door Last Night Just As I Was Falling Asleep Really Pissed Me Off, Too.