New SGA fic: Domino Effect, OT4, 30toseoul's AU verse
Once upon a time, 30toseoul wrote a fantabulously hot AU OT4 fic, wherein canon John gets sucked into an AU verse where the team is in a polygamous relationship. It was a very hot, very sweet story called Brownian Motion and is continued here.
Someone named apple_pi is writing the flip side of the coin, with AU John in canon-verse, called Bernoulli Scheme.
I am totally playing in 30toseoul's sandbox, here. ;)
Title: Domino Effect
Rating: R for (sadly) non-graphic sex
Special thanks: to 30toseoul for letting me play; and to diluvian, for catching those contractions (OOPS. *facepalm*).
A/N: This is based on this comment thread and my insane need for more Chuck fic. Which this turned out not to be at all. Oops? THE OT4 HAS EATEN MY BRAIN. I blame 30toseoul entirely. In other words, none of this is mine. Like, at all. Also, this is, like, fanfic inspired by fanfic, and we're all taking great liberties here, so don't shoot me, okay? Okay.
John knew it was going to be one of those days as soon as he got in the transporter...and didn’t get out. It sat there, patiently waiting for him to touch the screen, and damn it he was touching it everywhere, but it still waited.
“McKay, this is Sheppard. I’m having a problem with one of the transporters -”
“Yes, yes, you and the rest of Atlantis! Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll be there as soon as I can!”
John’s hand froze over his ear piece. Panties? he mouthed.
By the time Rodney showed up 45 minutes later, crossing crystals and tapping away on his laptop, John had worked himself into a lather, trying to figure out who the hell was more important to rescue than he was, military leader of Atlantis and the person who kept Rodney in both blowjobs and chocolate. He came up with: Elizabeth, Carson, maybe Caldwell - a grand total of three whole people who, by the sounds of the chatter on the radios, weren’t even trapped. Which led John to the conclusion that Rodney was simply being a very bad boyfriend-whatever-person.
So, instead of giving Rodney the accolades he’d clearly been expecting (if John could judge by the smug and satisfied look on his face), he kneed him in the balls.
----
Teyla had really expected better of John. She had spoken to him at great length the night before on how important it was to her to be on the mainland to bring in the crops. He had rolled his eyes, told her he would ‘be there, 8 o’clock sharp - don’t worry about me, my watch keeps excellent time’ and had then coerced her into rejoining the boys in bed.
She was never having sex with him again.
Lorne graciously offered to take her to the mainland, but she politely refused. “I am timing him.”
He had grinned at her and walked away - but not too far, because he was clearly hoping to watch her verbally flay his CO.
John rushed into the jumper bay a few minutes before 9, and Teyla felt her mouth make that twisty, angry line she knew made her look far older than she was but it caused John to look very frightened, so it was for a good cause, at least.
“I got stuck in a transporter and Rodney only just got me out…” He smiled weakly at her, seeking forgiveness.
Okay. So she wasn’t having sex with Rodney now, either. Whatever.
“Just take me to the mainland. Hopefully I have not missed too much of the Reaping Festival.”
John looked pained, but he made no further comment, and the ride to the settlement was protracted and equal parts shamed (John) and livid (Teyla).
When they finally landed, Teyla hopped out of the jumper without a backwards glance.
----
Ever since the team had started joining in ‘extra-curricular activities’ together, Ronon had developed a routine:
6:00 - run with Sheppard
7:30 - eat breakfast with team
8:30 - train with marines
11:00 - eat lunch with Rodney
12:00 - eat lunch with Teyla and Elizabeth
12:30 - eat lunch with Sheppard and Lorne
1:30 - run with Cadman
3:00 - poke things in Rodney’s lab
3:30 - poke things in infirmary
4:00 - poke things in Elizabeth’s office
4:30 - train with Teyla
6:00 - eat dinner with team
8:00 - run with Sheppard
10:00 - meet team in Rodney’s room
Although, today? Ronon’s schedule was getting right the fucked up.
First, Rodney didn’t show up for lunch, which was okay because Chuck and a frightened-looking Parrish joined him, and Ronon entertained himself by giving Parrish as many dangerous grins as he could and still appear sane. By the end of the meal, Parrish had moved his chair so far away that he was practically sitting in Chuck’s lap.
Then at 3, when Ronon arrived at Rodney’s lab, he found all the scientists yelling at Kavanagh and Zelenka was trying to calm them down by insulting them in Czech, and it was really scary in there, so Ronon got the hell out of there as inconspicuously as he could.
He figured he could just spend more time in the infirmary by bothering Beckett with some carefully timed questions about the most awkward things he could come up with (“…my mum knit me this beautiful red and green angora sweater, out of real sheep’s wool, fresh off little Pennie’s back -” “So, herpes - it itches, right?”). But when he got there, Rodney was hopping around, saying he still hurt and grabbing his crotch in new and interesting ways, and as amusing as it was, the nurses threw him out.
So he went to find Elizabeth, but she wasn’t in her office. Instead, Heightmeyer ambushed him near the transporter and she started asking him about his parents and if he had ever had any pets and what was it like to not have a home planet anymore and he wanted her to shut up right the fuck now so when Parrish came skittering around the corner he tripped him, sending him sprawling into Heightmeyer, and then sprinted down the hall.
By the time Ronon got to the training room (checking around every corner, because that crazy shrink was seriously more terrifying than a whole Wraith hive), he was jumpy, angry, and depressed.
Unfortunately, Teyla didn’t seem much better, and it appeared to him that she was trying to teach him some humility, because she kept putting his ass on the mat, and he was getting pissed off. Another ten minutes of ‘lunge!-strike!-counterstrike!-floor!’ and Teyla cut their session short.
She stormed out the door, not even bothering to help him up, and, really, that was just kind of rude. But Ronon tried to stick to his schedule, forcing himself not to ruminate on Teyla’s behaviour too much, and arrived at the mess hall for 6 to eat with the team.
At 6:15 no one had shown up yet, and in a fit of childish come-uppance, Ronon intimidated the cooks into giving him all the servings of pudding.
Wouldn’t Heightmeyer have a field day with that?
----
What had started out as a fantastic morning, waking up pressed between warm bodies and a nice, slow hand job, had rapidly deteriorated into the day from hell.
As soon as his shift started, Chuck leaned on a console and broke it, turning all the transporters into locking closets. Rodney still doesn’t know how that even happened, and frankly he no longer cares, because the crotch shot was totally uncalled for, and he’s still pretty sore from it, even now, 10 hours later. He kept having to interrupt his work to shift on his stool, rearrange himself in his pants, and made three trips to the infirmary for painkillers. Apparently, the USAF was in the habit of teaching their officers how to fight dirty to win.
Simpson bitched at him all day about power output numbers and he was too distracted by the burning in his groin to properly cow her into submission, which led to Zelenka actually winning an argument and Miko didn’t burst into tears even once.
So it was really no surprise that Rodney was feeling a little unproductive and unloved, and all he wanted was to sit down with his team, eat some dinner, and have at least one bowl of the chocolate pudding Cadman had told him was being served tonight. Two if Ronon didn’t get to Teyla’s first. Three if John wasn’t still pissed at him and felt guilty for the assault.
So when Rodney arrived in the mess hall only to get to the front of the food line and discover there wasn’t any chocolate pudding left, he wasn’t just pissed - he was grievously insulted.
“What do you mean there’s no pudding left! I’m only fifteen minutes late! There’s always pudding for me, even when I show up in the middle of the night!” And then, “Is this about the transporter? Because if Sheppard put you up to this, so help me you won’t see hot water for weeks and it will take a lot more than chocolate pudding to get the Yanni to stop playing in your quarters!”
And that’s when Rodney noticed the precarious towers of empty pudding bowls stacked in a semi-circle around Ronon’s menacing bulk. Rodney frowned and stomped over to his table.
“Is this - did you eat all the pudding? What the hell, Ronon!”
But Ronon just glared and pulled the last couple bowls closer, leaning over them.
“It’s your fault, isn’t it, McKay?”
Rodney spluttered. “That you ate all the pudding?”
Ronon raised an eyebrow. “That Teyla’s angry at everyone.”
“I don’t know anything about Teyla,” Rodney argued defensively.
He watched in horror as Ronon put aside his spoon and poured a bowl of pudding into his mouth. Truly, this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Cadman says you weren’t at lunch because Sheppard kneed you in the nuts.” Ronon eyed Rodney’s crotch. “Is that why you’re walking funny?”
Fucking Cadman. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, Sheppard and I had a…confrontation this morning, which ended in violence upon my person and - hey! It’s not funny! Stop laughing!”
Ronon downed the last pudding bowl while making the most obscene slurping sound Rodney had heard in…several days.
“Fix it, McKay,” Ronon calmly ordered and stood from the table. “Because you’re not getting laid until you do.”
----
It was moments like these that Rodney desperately wished he could slam his door, but instead it slid serenely closed behind him, which kind of made Rodney even pissier.
Next door, Rodney could hear raucous laughter, and knowing that it should be him and his team having loud fun gave Rodney a headache. Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t going to be having sex until he somehow apologized to both John and Teyla (although he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d done to put her on the warpath, he was nonetheless glad she hadn’t come to find him).
Maybe Teyla would like some chocolate? Rodney had a small stash locked in one of the cupboards of his lab for just such an emergency. John, though - that was a different story. Making up with him would require the sacrifice of precious brain cells while watching Back To The Future and possibly some modifications to the jumpers.
Rodney refused to do any work until he’d had a shower, though, so he stripped and made his way into the bathroom. Besides, he often came up with his best ideas in front of a mirror (or, in this case, in front of a glass shower door).
----
John paused outside Rodney’s door and listened to the obvious sounds of sex. Good sex. Moaning sex.
“Oh my god!” he yelled and forced Atlantis to open Rodney’s door. John burst in, fully prepared to yell at Rodney and Teyla and Ronon for starting without him, and found…a completely empty room.
He glanced around, noting Rodney’s clothes strewn on the floor and the closed bathroom door, realized Rodney was in the shower and wasn’t having sex, and then discovered that all the thumping and moaning was coming from next door.
John crouched down and pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear voices, mostly indistinct, but every once in a while he could make out some words (harder, faster, ohmygodyes!) and maybe, possibly, even a name -
“Sheppard?”
John nearly fell on his ass spinning around, and then again when he saw that Rodney was out of the shower and wearing only a small white towel around his waist.
“Um?” John said, staring at the wet sheen on Rodney’s chest and his pert nipples.
“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Rodney demanded.
John blinked. “I uh…” Why had he come here?
Rodney pulled his underwear on under his towel, not letting John see anything. “I was going to come find you after my shower. I thought maybe we could watch a movie? Maybe…Back To The Future?”
John knew how much Rodney hated that movie and he grinned. “Is this your idea of an apology, McKay?”
“More or less.” Rodney ducked his head and pretended to be very interested in the fly of his pants. “Did it work?”
John grinned even more and sprawled himself out on Rodney’s floor. “More or less.”
Rodney chuckled. “So, you’re not going to knee me in the crotch again, right?”
Oh, yeah. “About that…” John sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I may have overreacted.”
“May have?” Rodney asked, mildly put-out.
“Slightly.” John gave a little shrug. “I was stuck in that transporter for forty-five minutes with nothing else to do but think about how long I’d been stuck in that transporter. It was a vicious, vicious cycle.”
A loud groan sounded from somewhere behind John’s head. Rodney paused, shirt in hand, and gave the wall a quizzical look.
“Was that…?”
John nodded.
“Is he…?”
John nodded again. He gave Rodney a slow, dirty grin, and pressed his ear against the wall.
“I can make out at least three voices,” John told Rodney, who grumbled about having to get down on his knees but obediently listened through the wall, too.
“That’s Chuck,” Rodney supplied after a particularly loud moan, and John rolled his eyes.
“It is his room,” John retorted. Then there was some low murmuring and a deep chuckle. “Lorne?” he guessed, and Rodney gave him a speculative look.
“Really?”
Rodney pressed himself closer to the wall and, therefore, closer to John, who could feel the heat radiating off of Rodney’s body like a blast furnace, and if John leaned closer to him, it was entirely Rodney’s fault for not wearing a shirt. And for being so warm. And still kind of damp. And lickably sexy. And -
“Why are you sitting on the floor?”
John nearly gave himself whiplash turning towards Teyla, who stood uncertainly in the doorway, giving them curious looks.
“We were just - I mean, Chuck is - well…”
“What Sheppard is trying and miserably failing to say is that Chuck has his own little harem next door, and it’s free porn for us!”
Teyla raised an eyebrow in what John liked to call her ‘I Truly Will Never Understand The Lanteans’ look, and approached them with as much consternation as intrigue. But John watched gleefully as her face changed when she heard the racket next door, watched her eyes grow wide in disbelief and dark in arousal.
“We should not be listening to them,” she scolded even as she pressed her cheek against the cool metal wall. John sank back against the wall, happily basking in the warmth of two of his most favourite people, and enjoying how much neither of them were actively hating him.
He turned his head to look up at Teyla, who was arguing good-naturedly with Rodney about where the line between overhearing and eavesdropping falls, and John could feel his face cracking into a happy, goofy grin so he smashed it into Teyla’s belly. She laughed, which was a really strange sensation against John’s forehead, and when she started petting his head and he heaved a contented sigh, Rodney chuckled and pressed against his side.
John was so perfectly warm and snuggly that when the door opened again, he didn’t even blink. Ronon didn’t say anything by way of greeting, just put a hand on Teyla’s hip, so John moved his head over until the tips of Ronon’s fingers were touching him, too.
“Chuck’s harem,” Rodney explained without prompt, and Ronon grunted.
The muffled sounds of sex picked up in volume and frequency, and Teyla’s gentle stroking of John’s head became a little rougher in response. Her nails scraped lightly across his scalp and John let out an embarrassing whimper.
“Cadman,” Ronon said. Which would have been a complete non-sequitor except for the high-pitched moaning that was going on next door.
“Huh,” Rodney muttered. “I’m pretty sure she just said ‘Parrish’.”
Teyla quirked an eyebrow. “Parrish?” she repeated. “If I am not mistaken, he is the botanist on Major Lorne’s team.”
“Awkward? Skinny?” Ronon asked. “Stupid hair?”
“Yes, yes, and oh my god yes. His hair is worse than Sheppard’s!”
“Thanks, Rodney,” John drawled, but couldn’t really find it in himself to get angry. Not when everyone was touching him.
“So this is how you fix things?” Ronon asked with a chuckle. “Listen to Chuck have sex?”
“It’s not like he doesn’t listen to us all the time,” Rodney countered. “Besides, it was all Chuck’s fault to begin with - he’s the one that broke the transporters.”
Things reached a fever-pitch in Chuck’s room and then slowly died out. The team pressed their ears to the wall, hoping for more, but it seemed Chuck’s harem had truly worn itself out.
“Well, there’s still time for ‘Back To The Future’,” Rodney commented.
John stood with a groan and flexed his sore knees. “I’ll round up some popcorn.”
Teyla gave Rodney’s bed a disapproving glare. “I will bring some pillows from my room.”
“I’ll go get some knives,” Ronon supplied. The others gave him strange looks and he added, “They need sharpening,” as if that was a good enough explanation.
As everyone began leaving, Rodney grumbled and moued. “This would all be simpler if we shared quarters.”
They paused and exchanged glances.
“Sure.”
“Okay.”
“Perhaps we could make a request to Elizabeth?”
They exchanged some more glances.
“Did we just all move in together?” Rodney demanded, clearly perplexed. John grinned so hard he thought his face might crack.
“We sure did.”
For your reading pleasure, here are the links to 30toseoul's OT4 ficlets (so far):
a beautiful blending
15 OT4 things
working the equations
this room
five ways that fruit got involved
freefall
nobody loves me but you
point taken (added: Nov. 18, 2006)
soothe (added: Nov. 20, 2006)
worry (added: Nov. 25, 2006)
bad day (added: Nov. 28, 2006)
sing a rainbow (added: Dec. 1, 2006)
boys on the floor (added: Dec. 11, 2006)
A/N2: There really isn't a chronological order to these fics, especially since they could, conceivably, be in any of the verses (AU, canon John in AU, AU John in canon, or some heretofore unknown canon OT4), so the order I've listed them in is completely arbitrary and assumptive. Of many things. So basically, click them randomly! IT DOESN'T MATTER!
A/N3: This fic can be read as a stand-alone. A slightly cracked-out stand-alone. You don't have to read 30toseoul's fic to read this one. But I think you should, anyway. THEY ARE AWESOME.
Someone named apple_pi is writing the flip side of the coin, with AU John in canon-verse, called Bernoulli Scheme.
I am totally playing in 30toseoul's sandbox, here. ;)
Title: Domino Effect
Rating: R for (sadly) non-graphic sex
Special thanks: to 30toseoul for letting me play; and to diluvian, for catching those contractions (OOPS. *facepalm*).
A/N: This is based on this comment thread and my insane need for more Chuck fic. Which this turned out not to be at all. Oops? THE OT4 HAS EATEN MY BRAIN. I blame 30toseoul entirely. In other words, none of this is mine. Like, at all. Also, this is, like, fanfic inspired by fanfic, and we're all taking great liberties here, so don't shoot me, okay? Okay.
John knew it was going to be one of those days as soon as he got in the transporter...and didn’t get out. It sat there, patiently waiting for him to touch the screen, and damn it he was touching it everywhere, but it still waited.
“McKay, this is Sheppard. I’m having a problem with one of the transporters -”
“Yes, yes, you and the rest of Atlantis! Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’ll be there as soon as I can!”
John’s hand froze over his ear piece. Panties? he mouthed.
By the time Rodney showed up 45 minutes later, crossing crystals and tapping away on his laptop, John had worked himself into a lather, trying to figure out who the hell was more important to rescue than he was, military leader of Atlantis and the person who kept Rodney in both blowjobs and chocolate. He came up with: Elizabeth, Carson, maybe Caldwell - a grand total of three whole people who, by the sounds of the chatter on the radios, weren’t even trapped. Which led John to the conclusion that Rodney was simply being a very bad boyfriend-whatever-person.
So, instead of giving Rodney the accolades he’d clearly been expecting (if John could judge by the smug and satisfied look on his face), he kneed him in the balls.
----
Teyla had really expected better of John. She had spoken to him at great length the night before on how important it was to her to be on the mainland to bring in the crops. He had rolled his eyes, told her he would ‘be there, 8 o’clock sharp - don’t worry about me, my watch keeps excellent time’ and had then coerced her into rejoining the boys in bed.
She was never having sex with him again.
Lorne graciously offered to take her to the mainland, but she politely refused. “I am timing him.”
He had grinned at her and walked away - but not too far, because he was clearly hoping to watch her verbally flay his CO.
John rushed into the jumper bay a few minutes before 9, and Teyla felt her mouth make that twisty, angry line she knew made her look far older than she was but it caused John to look very frightened, so it was for a good cause, at least.
“I got stuck in a transporter and Rodney only just got me out…” He smiled weakly at her, seeking forgiveness.
Okay. So she wasn’t having sex with Rodney now, either. Whatever.
“Just take me to the mainland. Hopefully I have not missed too much of the Reaping Festival.”
John looked pained, but he made no further comment, and the ride to the settlement was protracted and equal parts shamed (John) and livid (Teyla).
When they finally landed, Teyla hopped out of the jumper without a backwards glance.
----
Ever since the team had started joining in ‘extra-curricular activities’ together, Ronon had developed a routine:
6:00 - run with Sheppard
7:30 - eat breakfast with team
8:30 - train with marines
11:00 - eat lunch with Rodney
12:00 - eat lunch with Teyla and Elizabeth
12:30 - eat lunch with Sheppard and Lorne
1:30 - run with Cadman
3:00 - poke things in Rodney’s lab
3:30 - poke things in infirmary
4:00 - poke things in Elizabeth’s office
4:30 - train with Teyla
6:00 - eat dinner with team
8:00 - run with Sheppard
10:00 - meet team in Rodney’s room
Although, today? Ronon’s schedule was getting right the fucked up.
First, Rodney didn’t show up for lunch, which was okay because Chuck and a frightened-looking Parrish joined him, and Ronon entertained himself by giving Parrish as many dangerous grins as he could and still appear sane. By the end of the meal, Parrish had moved his chair so far away that he was practically sitting in Chuck’s lap.
Then at 3, when Ronon arrived at Rodney’s lab, he found all the scientists yelling at Kavanagh and Zelenka was trying to calm them down by insulting them in Czech, and it was really scary in there, so Ronon got the hell out of there as inconspicuously as he could.
He figured he could just spend more time in the infirmary by bothering Beckett with some carefully timed questions about the most awkward things he could come up with (“…my mum knit me this beautiful red and green angora sweater, out of real sheep’s wool, fresh off little Pennie’s back -” “So, herpes - it itches, right?”). But when he got there, Rodney was hopping around, saying he still hurt and grabbing his crotch in new and interesting ways, and as amusing as it was, the nurses threw him out.
So he went to find Elizabeth, but she wasn’t in her office. Instead, Heightmeyer ambushed him near the transporter and she started asking him about his parents and if he had ever had any pets and what was it like to not have a home planet anymore and he wanted her to shut up right the fuck now so when Parrish came skittering around the corner he tripped him, sending him sprawling into Heightmeyer, and then sprinted down the hall.
By the time Ronon got to the training room (checking around every corner, because that crazy shrink was seriously more terrifying than a whole Wraith hive), he was jumpy, angry, and depressed.
Unfortunately, Teyla didn’t seem much better, and it appeared to him that she was trying to teach him some humility, because she kept putting his ass on the mat, and he was getting pissed off. Another ten minutes of ‘lunge!-strike!-counterstrike!-floor!’ and Teyla cut their session short.
She stormed out the door, not even bothering to help him up, and, really, that was just kind of rude. But Ronon tried to stick to his schedule, forcing himself not to ruminate on Teyla’s behaviour too much, and arrived at the mess hall for 6 to eat with the team.
At 6:15 no one had shown up yet, and in a fit of childish come-uppance, Ronon intimidated the cooks into giving him all the servings of pudding.
Wouldn’t Heightmeyer have a field day with that?
----
What had started out as a fantastic morning, waking up pressed between warm bodies and a nice, slow hand job, had rapidly deteriorated into the day from hell.
As soon as his shift started, Chuck leaned on a console and broke it, turning all the transporters into locking closets. Rodney still doesn’t know how that even happened, and frankly he no longer cares, because the crotch shot was totally uncalled for, and he’s still pretty sore from it, even now, 10 hours later. He kept having to interrupt his work to shift on his stool, rearrange himself in his pants, and made three trips to the infirmary for painkillers. Apparently, the USAF was in the habit of teaching their officers how to fight dirty to win.
Simpson bitched at him all day about power output numbers and he was too distracted by the burning in his groin to properly cow her into submission, which led to Zelenka actually winning an argument and Miko didn’t burst into tears even once.
So it was really no surprise that Rodney was feeling a little unproductive and unloved, and all he wanted was to sit down with his team, eat some dinner, and have at least one bowl of the chocolate pudding Cadman had told him was being served tonight. Two if Ronon didn’t get to Teyla’s first. Three if John wasn’t still pissed at him and felt guilty for the assault.
So when Rodney arrived in the mess hall only to get to the front of the food line and discover there wasn’t any chocolate pudding left, he wasn’t just pissed - he was grievously insulted.
“What do you mean there’s no pudding left! I’m only fifteen minutes late! There’s always pudding for me, even when I show up in the middle of the night!” And then, “Is this about the transporter? Because if Sheppard put you up to this, so help me you won’t see hot water for weeks and it will take a lot more than chocolate pudding to get the Yanni to stop playing in your quarters!”
And that’s when Rodney noticed the precarious towers of empty pudding bowls stacked in a semi-circle around Ronon’s menacing bulk. Rodney frowned and stomped over to his table.
“Is this - did you eat all the pudding? What the hell, Ronon!”
But Ronon just glared and pulled the last couple bowls closer, leaning over them.
“It’s your fault, isn’t it, McKay?”
Rodney spluttered. “That you ate all the pudding?”
Ronon raised an eyebrow. “That Teyla’s angry at everyone.”
“I don’t know anything about Teyla,” Rodney argued defensively.
He watched in horror as Ronon put aside his spoon and poured a bowl of pudding into his mouth. Truly, this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Cadman says you weren’t at lunch because Sheppard kneed you in the nuts.” Ronon eyed Rodney’s crotch. “Is that why you’re walking funny?”
Fucking Cadman. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, Sheppard and I had a…confrontation this morning, which ended in violence upon my person and - hey! It’s not funny! Stop laughing!”
Ronon downed the last pudding bowl while making the most obscene slurping sound Rodney had heard in…several days.
“Fix it, McKay,” Ronon calmly ordered and stood from the table. “Because you’re not getting laid until you do.”
----
It was moments like these that Rodney desperately wished he could slam his door, but instead it slid serenely closed behind him, which kind of made Rodney even pissier.
Next door, Rodney could hear raucous laughter, and knowing that it should be him and his team having loud fun gave Rodney a headache. Not to mention the fact that he wasn’t going to be having sex until he somehow apologized to both John and Teyla (although he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d done to put her on the warpath, he was nonetheless glad she hadn’t come to find him).
Maybe Teyla would like some chocolate? Rodney had a small stash locked in one of the cupboards of his lab for just such an emergency. John, though - that was a different story. Making up with him would require the sacrifice of precious brain cells while watching Back To The Future and possibly some modifications to the jumpers.
Rodney refused to do any work until he’d had a shower, though, so he stripped and made his way into the bathroom. Besides, he often came up with his best ideas in front of a mirror (or, in this case, in front of a glass shower door).
----
John paused outside Rodney’s door and listened to the obvious sounds of sex. Good sex. Moaning sex.
“Oh my god!” he yelled and forced Atlantis to open Rodney’s door. John burst in, fully prepared to yell at Rodney and Teyla and Ronon for starting without him, and found…a completely empty room.
He glanced around, noting Rodney’s clothes strewn on the floor and the closed bathroom door, realized Rodney was in the shower and wasn’t having sex, and then discovered that all the thumping and moaning was coming from next door.
John crouched down and pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear voices, mostly indistinct, but every once in a while he could make out some words (harder, faster, ohmygodyes!) and maybe, possibly, even a name -
“Sheppard?”
John nearly fell on his ass spinning around, and then again when he saw that Rodney was out of the shower and wearing only a small white towel around his waist.
“Um?” John said, staring at the wet sheen on Rodney’s chest and his pert nipples.
“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Rodney demanded.
John blinked. “I uh…” Why had he come here?
Rodney pulled his underwear on under his towel, not letting John see anything. “I was going to come find you after my shower. I thought maybe we could watch a movie? Maybe…Back To The Future?”
John knew how much Rodney hated that movie and he grinned. “Is this your idea of an apology, McKay?”
“More or less.” Rodney ducked his head and pretended to be very interested in the fly of his pants. “Did it work?”
John grinned even more and sprawled himself out on Rodney’s floor. “More or less.”
Rodney chuckled. “So, you’re not going to knee me in the crotch again, right?”
Oh, yeah. “About that…” John sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I may have overreacted.”
“May have?” Rodney asked, mildly put-out.
“Slightly.” John gave a little shrug. “I was stuck in that transporter for forty-five minutes with nothing else to do but think about how long I’d been stuck in that transporter. It was a vicious, vicious cycle.”
A loud groan sounded from somewhere behind John’s head. Rodney paused, shirt in hand, and gave the wall a quizzical look.
“Was that…?”
John nodded.
“Is he…?”
John nodded again. He gave Rodney a slow, dirty grin, and pressed his ear against the wall.
“I can make out at least three voices,” John told Rodney, who grumbled about having to get down on his knees but obediently listened through the wall, too.
“That’s Chuck,” Rodney supplied after a particularly loud moan, and John rolled his eyes.
“It is his room,” John retorted. Then there was some low murmuring and a deep chuckle. “Lorne?” he guessed, and Rodney gave him a speculative look.
“Really?”
Rodney pressed himself closer to the wall and, therefore, closer to John, who could feel the heat radiating off of Rodney’s body like a blast furnace, and if John leaned closer to him, it was entirely Rodney’s fault for not wearing a shirt. And for being so warm. And still kind of damp. And lickably sexy. And -
“Why are you sitting on the floor?”
John nearly gave himself whiplash turning towards Teyla, who stood uncertainly in the doorway, giving them curious looks.
“We were just - I mean, Chuck is - well…”
“What Sheppard is trying and miserably failing to say is that Chuck has his own little harem next door, and it’s free porn for us!”
Teyla raised an eyebrow in what John liked to call her ‘I Truly Will Never Understand The Lanteans’ look, and approached them with as much consternation as intrigue. But John watched gleefully as her face changed when she heard the racket next door, watched her eyes grow wide in disbelief and dark in arousal.
“We should not be listening to them,” she scolded even as she pressed her cheek against the cool metal wall. John sank back against the wall, happily basking in the warmth of two of his most favourite people, and enjoying how much neither of them were actively hating him.
He turned his head to look up at Teyla, who was arguing good-naturedly with Rodney about where the line between overhearing and eavesdropping falls, and John could feel his face cracking into a happy, goofy grin so he smashed it into Teyla’s belly. She laughed, which was a really strange sensation against John’s forehead, and when she started petting his head and he heaved a contented sigh, Rodney chuckled and pressed against his side.
John was so perfectly warm and snuggly that when the door opened again, he didn’t even blink. Ronon didn’t say anything by way of greeting, just put a hand on Teyla’s hip, so John moved his head over until the tips of Ronon’s fingers were touching him, too.
“Chuck’s harem,” Rodney explained without prompt, and Ronon grunted.
The muffled sounds of sex picked up in volume and frequency, and Teyla’s gentle stroking of John’s head became a little rougher in response. Her nails scraped lightly across his scalp and John let out an embarrassing whimper.
“Cadman,” Ronon said. Which would have been a complete non-sequitor except for the high-pitched moaning that was going on next door.
“Huh,” Rodney muttered. “I’m pretty sure she just said ‘Parrish’.”
Teyla quirked an eyebrow. “Parrish?” she repeated. “If I am not mistaken, he is the botanist on Major Lorne’s team.”
“Awkward? Skinny?” Ronon asked. “Stupid hair?”
“Yes, yes, and oh my god yes. His hair is worse than Sheppard’s!”
“Thanks, Rodney,” John drawled, but couldn’t really find it in himself to get angry. Not when everyone was touching him.
“So this is how you fix things?” Ronon asked with a chuckle. “Listen to Chuck have sex?”
“It’s not like he doesn’t listen to us all the time,” Rodney countered. “Besides, it was all Chuck’s fault to begin with - he’s the one that broke the transporters.”
Things reached a fever-pitch in Chuck’s room and then slowly died out. The team pressed their ears to the wall, hoping for more, but it seemed Chuck’s harem had truly worn itself out.
“Well, there’s still time for ‘Back To The Future’,” Rodney commented.
John stood with a groan and flexed his sore knees. “I’ll round up some popcorn.”
Teyla gave Rodney’s bed a disapproving glare. “I will bring some pillows from my room.”
“I’ll go get some knives,” Ronon supplied. The others gave him strange looks and he added, “They need sharpening,” as if that was a good enough explanation.
As everyone began leaving, Rodney grumbled and moued. “This would all be simpler if we shared quarters.”
They paused and exchanged glances.
“Sure.”
“Okay.”
“Perhaps we could make a request to Elizabeth?”
They exchanged some more glances.
“Did we just all move in together?” Rodney demanded, clearly perplexed. John grinned so hard he thought his face might crack.
“We sure did.”
For your reading pleasure, here are the links to 30toseoul's OT4 ficlets (so far):
a beautiful blending
15 OT4 things
working the equations
this room
five ways that fruit got involved
freefall
nobody loves me but you
point taken (added: Nov. 18, 2006)
soothe (added: Nov. 20, 2006)
worry (added: Nov. 25, 2006)
bad day (added: Nov. 28, 2006)
sing a rainbow (added: Dec. 1, 2006)
boys on the floor (added: Dec. 11, 2006)
A/N2: There really isn't a chronological order to these fics, especially since they could, conceivably, be in any of the verses (AU, canon John in AU, AU John in canon, or some heretofore unknown canon OT4), so the order I've listed them in is completely arbitrary and assumptive. Of many things. So basically, click them randomly! IT DOESN'T MATTER!
A/N3: This fic can be read as a stand-alone. A slightly cracked-out stand-alone. You don't have to read 30toseoul's fic to read this one. But I think you should, anyway. THEY ARE AWESOME.