Room 202
Spoon is, it has been noted, not exactly the most regulation of soldiers.
Possibly this might explain why he has tacked up a piece of paper on the wall and headed it up with
THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO
1. Not allowed to sing filthy Navy songs when I am supposed to be working.
2. No looking for tattoo parlours on scavenger runs even if I can justify it as permanent identification.
3. Mice cannot be trained to march in formation no matter how entertaining I find the effort.
4. That goes double for cockroaches.
5. I have not killed anything large and dangerous with a sharpened spoon, and it is wrong to make newcomers think I have.
6. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
7. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
8. If any magic beans do turn up I am to hand them over to the Gardening Corps immediately 'cos damn, giant beanstalks would be cool.
9. Must not teach Sokka how to make Spam bombs. (We need the Spam.)
10. It is too damn cold for trousers to be optional.
11. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty. (We need the chocolate.)
12. We do not "charge into battle, naked, like my Celtic ancestors".
13. If I ever get the trebuchet built I am not to offer anyone any rides in it.
14. No 'I got here first, ya wankers' victory jigs in front of any SAS who might possibly turn up.
At the bottom is scribbled, 'Add yours! --Spoon'
Some time later Spoon comes back and adds:
16. If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than fifteen seconds I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
17. If the thought of something involving sharp edges, explosions, or very small rocks makes me chortle like a mad scientist in a really bloody awful movie for any length of time at all, I am to assume that I ought to get started on doing it right away.
Possibly this might explain why he has tacked up a piece of paper on the wall and headed it up with
THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO
1. Not allowed to sing filthy Navy songs when I am supposed to be working.
2. No looking for tattoo parlours on scavenger runs even if I can justify it as permanent identification.
3. Mice cannot be trained to march in formation no matter how entertaining I find the effort.
4. That goes double for cockroaches.
5. I have not killed anything large and dangerous with a sharpened spoon, and it is wrong to make newcomers think I have.
6. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
7. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.
8. If any magic beans do turn up I am to hand them over to the Gardening Corps immediately 'cos damn, giant beanstalks would be cool.
9. Must not teach Sokka how to make Spam bombs. (We need the Spam.)
10. It is too damn cold for trousers to be optional.
11. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty. (We need the chocolate.)
12. We do not "charge into battle, naked, like my Celtic ancestors".
13. If I ever get the trebuchet built I am not to offer anyone any rides in it.
14. No 'I got here first, ya wankers' victory jigs in front of any SAS who might possibly turn up.
At the bottom is scribbled, 'Add yours! --Spoon'
Some time later Spoon comes back and adds:
16. If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than fifteen seconds I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
17. If the thought of something involving sharp edges, explosions, or very small rocks makes me chortle like a mad scientist in a really bloody awful movie for any length of time at all, I am to assume that I ought to get started on doing it right away.